Trying really hard to recover lately! I got really sick over the holiday, I had heart problems and stomach issues and got to the point where I couldn't even drink water without puking, I lost 3 stone over 9 weeks and was told that this was the reason for my declining health.
I have really, really severe anxiety and so I decided to help myself.
I've started eating again but I'm starting to feel absolutely disgustingly fat.
I feel like the only thing that was making me happy was being thin.
It was like "ok yeah, my life's a mess, but at least I have control over my eating/weight"
Now I feel like I have nothing.
My partner knows about my issues now as my health got so back I was hospitalised and will stop speaking to me if he catches me restricting which has caused viscous arguments between us.
I'm back up 134 lbs now and I absolutely hate myself.
I have no idea what to do but eating makes me want to die which is ironic because it's keeping me alive
I'm really just looking for other people who are recovering as I've spent most of the day today restricting and I have no idea how to move forward