A few minutes ago, I arose (7:30 AM in Midwest, USA) and sat down in my den, reluctant to face disappointment, but needing to know whether my heart was still staggering around drunkenly as it had for the past 10 hours. I felt pretty good and delayed putting on the monitor for a few minutes.
Upon checking my BP and HR, I found my pulse chugging along steadily in NSR! I was Afib free for over a year, but I have had this ritual played out every few weeks for several months now , so I may have to consider measures such as ablation, if it progresses.
I realized something about "going into NSR". There is something deeply affecting about it, something psychologically and emotionally restorative that gives, in the hours and even days after, a sense of peace and ebullience about being alive, As I looked out the window to the backyard (garden for my UK friends?) at a large tree that houses flitting birds and hungry squirrels, and is surrounded by yellow flowers, the scene that I see daily suddenly seemed inspiringly beautiful, peaceful and almost miraculous.
I finally turned on the TV (telly?), and the original old "Thin Man" movie was on. I have always found it mildly amusing, but a bit tiresome. This morning, having just been revitalized after the night-long, worrisome, disheartening spate with the anxiety and depression-producing weakness and instability in my heart, I found that the familiar characters and cute dog brought on an almost familial affection, whereas a day ago I would have flipped condescendingly to the news.
If there is anything positive about PAF, it is, to me, the deeper appreciation, admittedly temporary, for life that comes with NSR. After feeling threatened by unsettling arrhythmia for hours, we are afforded a genuine sense of gratitude for being able to carry on with our lives, experiencing a sense of ebullience, relief and peace that sets aside our obsession with the negatives in life and the world.
If Afib has any "function" it can be to make us appreciate life by knocking us down with enervating heart insecurity but then gifting us with NSR, awakening us to how fortunate we are to be here, to hold loved ones and enjoy simple pleasures.
I know many struggle with more daunting issues with their Afib, and I don't mean to offend with my Pollyanna take this morning.
Best wishes for lots of NSR to all!
Fibnum
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fibnum
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I agree with you totally fibnum. Have never thought about it until you mentioned but it's so true. I can remember going back into normal sinus rhythm after having AF attacks that could at times last from hours to several months. Yes, it's a kind of a peaceful, serene joy - an all's right with the world feeling.
Thank you for such a heart-warming post. It will be interesting to see how many other people have experienced the same feeling.
My husband isn’t lucky enough to have a fleeting NSR , Just got used to it I suppose . He had it for a few days after a cardio version and an ablation in 2017 but he has a very stubborn heart lol
Thank you . No he was taken off of them not long after his ablation for some reason . I am investigating with pals if you look at my posts . Taken to A and E two days before his stroke and the gp as I was still worried with his very high heart rate and feeling unwell . Not only did they not give him thinners with his AF history , they put him as zero on the scale for having a stroke . They sent him off with verapamil and that was it .
That was a beautiful. I agree with the feelings you described. There’s a sudden rush of thankfulness and relief when NSR appears at the end of an episode.
I sometimes thought it was because I couldn’t ever be sure that NSR would return without intervention.
I have been AFIB free since PVI ablation 7 months ago. I haven’t forgotten and appreciate not feeling my heart beat every day.
What a great post! It’s so easy to take things, like the miracle of a regular heartbeat, for granted as we rush through life, isn’t it. I know I certainly did. I never gave it a second thought until AF popped up! I still remember the relief of converting back to NSR after a night of AF and the sense of elation that went with it. The world seemed brighter and more colourful somehow, once I was back in rhythm.
I’ve since gone into persistent AF, for just over a year now. I railed against it at first but have since learned to accept my new funky rhythm. It has brought its own valuable life lessons with it. For me the main one has been to slow down and appreciate life’s journey more, rather than hurtling from one thing to another. For instance, nowadays, when I go for a walk, they may be shorter than I used to do but so what! I now take the time to stop and listen to the bird song, or admire the way the sunlight (when we have it!) filters through the delicate tracery of tree branches in the wood, rather than be focused on yomping round at speed to reach my step count target. And yes, the world is just as colourful and bright as it was when I used to convert back to NSR!
Enjoy your tree and your yellow flowers and thank you for putting up such a thoughtful post.
Wonderfully stated "other side of the coin" reminder! Finding peace through acceptance of the things we must live with is sustaining and has its own kind of reward.
Thank you for your lovely and encouraging post. I resonate with the emotions and feelings that you have. How very true. I always have a feeling of gratitude that l have been diagnosed with this, because AF can be difficult to catch. I have an even greater gratitude that it is not terminal and can be treated. Although AF can be difficult at times and cause anxiety, there are much worse things to endure. In a spiritual and comparable way, we have been blessed.
My brother and I are both long term paroxysmal AF sufferers, and we've both remarked often on what would appear to be a very similar experience: the sense of peace that comes over us when we go back into NSR, as if our immediate world has suddenly become quieter and more harmonious. As if we're back in rhythm with the natural world . . . . Presumably there's a chemical reason for at least part of it. Regardless of the cause, it's always a very welcome feeling. Thanks for your post.
Well said Fibnum... whenever we can find gratitude for those blissful moments it is certainly helpful to our vagus nerves! I used to liken it to being pulled by a tow plane when flying sailplanes... that's the afib, and then you release the tow plane clip and the sailplane does a tiny sink and sails......... bliss. Take good care, you've got a wise approach!
Very well said Fibnum! You described exactly how I feel when I finally flip back into NSR. It's such a relief, and the whole world is again a wonderful place. I hope your NSR stays put!
Enjoyed reading your post. I can readily identify with your sentiments. There is a sense of calmness when you are back in NSR. Unfortunately, we are always sitting on "pins and needles" never knowing when Afib will surface again.
Thank you for your beautiful post! And yes, the relief from something unpleasant or undesirable can sometimes feel better than not having it at all. I always say about us Brits that we're so pathetically grateful when the sun comes out!
It is an enormous relief for me when the AFib stops, but I usually am feeling too rubbish for the next few hours to experience the kind of peace that you're describing. I think it's the combination of both the (very symptomatic) AFib and the medication (PiP Flecainide) that makes me feel really awful for a while.
However, once I'm a few days free of AFib every further day in NSR feels like a gift, and I'm aware of a lift in my step and sense of great appreciation.
Dear Fibnum, thank you for post. It accords with my experience. It expresses the self-compassion that is as important as the medications many of us are prescribed. When I’ve returned to NSR after days, gratitude and serenity are my emotions; each time helping to the allay the anxiety over the unpredictable return of the ‘assassin’. Warm wishes.
One of the best posts I have seen on this forum. You have really helped by sharing a positive take on our condition. I realise too that you have summed up the feeling of returning to nsr accurately - and quite movingly. It’s been a revelation to me. Well done and thank you.
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