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Depression after ablatio

Adalaide2020 profile image
Adalaide2020
โ€ข38 Replies

Hi everyone. I'm 10 days post ablation. This is my 5th. Im tired , of course. My heart rate is a bit elevated, ok. I feel as if I have a baby sat on my chest a lot of the time, strange. My main concern is how low I feel. I would even say depressed. I only take apixaban, I'm not good with other meds.

I've just moved, went into hospital 20 days after the move and we are practically camping in the house as there is so much to do. My partner says I should be celebrating!

I feel daft saying this because he is right but I feel empty and down. Anyone else feel this way post ablation?

Cheers Jan

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Adalaide2020 profile image
Adalaide2020
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38 Replies
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Having checked out some of your history, I guess itโ€™s not surprising that you are feeling apprehensive. Fifth time lucky eh, letโ€™s hope so. Heart rate tends to be elevated after an ablation as Iโ€™m sure you know. You are obviously hoping for the best but fearing that history might repeat itself. I guess nobody knows but one things for sure, you got to pull yourself together and sort yourself out๐Ÿ˜‰

Now, before everyone starts screaming at me, this is what I say to my wife when sheโ€™s going through a rough patch and I know she finds it helpful and inspiring and Iโ€™ve got the bruises to prove it. But to be more serious, it isnโ€™t really surprising is it, that you are struggling a bit. Iโ€™m no psychologist (as you can see) but maybe I have helped you to smile a bit which is always helpful.

To be honest, the thing that worries me most is the last part of your post because everything to say about whatโ€™s lying in front of you is designed, if you are not very careful, to make this ablation fail. I think you and your partner need to think about whatโ€™s more important right now and thatโ€™s something you need to work out together.

You probably know more about recovering from an ablation than anyone else on this forum but just in case you need a refresher, why donโ€™t you and your partner sit down and read this factsheet togetherโ€ฆโ€ฆbest of luck๐Ÿ™๐Ÿคž๐Ÿ‘

api.heartrhythmalliance.org...

Adalaide2020 profile image
Adalaide2020โ€ข in reply to

Thank you Flapjack. Yes you did make me smile... and laugh out loud.I get what you are saying and appreciate your advice. A lot of food for thought. I have read the leaflet, many times, and do put my needs first at the moment...mostly.

Thank you again and be kind to your wife ๐Ÿ˜‰

โ€ข in reply toAdalaide2020

After 53 years of a blissfully happy marriage ๐Ÿ˜‰, I will try. Iโ€™m pleased you took my reply in the way it was meant, itโ€™s far to easy for some folk to jump to conclusions! Take it nice โ€˜n easy, youโ€™ll do fineโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆ

wilsond profile image
wilsond

Has your partner had an ablation or other major intervention and also had a recent big life change?I suspect not!

Its a big build up in our minds ,preparing for our big day. We are looking forward to success and as you have had disappointments before, it's probably affecting your expectations this time.

Moving forward I'm sure you will have reason to be positive. The surgeon would not have proceeded if they thought it was unlikely to be ' worth' trying again especially in these NHS cash strapped times.

I think you might find it useful to sit together and go through the patient leaflet for recovery ,even if you haven't read it for a while or at all lol!

You are probably a little frustrated that there is a lot to sort out housewife,and champing at the bit to do it,but knowing you shouldn't!

Hope you pick up soon xx

Adalaide2020 profile image
Adalaide2020โ€ข in reply towilsond

Such kind words Wilson. Thank you.You are right , my mind is pretty full of what's to be done, and I am a bit frustrated. This will pass I know, I just needed to hear from you guys . And yes, I'm concerned this might fail but generally I'm very upbeat about the procedures . This one was harder for me in small ways.

Wont go on now...but thank you again. You do understand.

wilsond profile image
wilsondโ€ข in reply toAdalaide2020

You're welcome!

jeanjeannie50 profile image
jeanjeannie50

I'm not surprised that you are feeling low after having a 5th ablation.

So your partner says you should be celebrating your move etc, he wouldn't be saying that if it was him who'd had the ablation. I'm afraid other people just do not understand all what AF and ablation entails. Tell him that people on this heart forum say you mustn't do much for at least the first two weeks, that is the truth by the way and that time can often be a lot longer. You may have a little bit of an infection in your heart area, see how it goes and contact your GP or go to A&E if it doesn't start feeling better very soon.

Remember it's your heart we're talking about here - the thing that keeps you alive, not your big toe or elbow. If you need it do not hesitate to seek medical advice.

Wishing you a speedy recovery.

Jean

Adalaide2020 profile image
Adalaide2020โ€ข in reply tojeanjeannie50

Thank you Jean. You are always very understanding. I've come out today to be with a friend and watch the sea. So soothing today. I have taken on board your comments and am listening to my body carefully. This has been the hardest ablation I have had for various reasons but I'm still very hopeful all will be well, just need to laugh a lot more and take life easy. Your right, it's not a toe or elbow (lol), thank you, have a great day.

healingharpist profile image
healingharpistโ€ข in reply toAdalaide2020

Yes, you hit it there, Adalaide--laughter! Starting with just seeing the absurdity in our everyday lives. That can be a boost--because when you have AF, there's lots of absurdity around :-) . My partner dug out some hilarious old videos online by "The Two Ronnies", and he loves surprising me by finding more of them. It feels so good to laugh! They relax me immensely any time of day. Be at peace--All shall be well... healing vibes, Diane

Adalaide2020 profile image
Adalaide2020โ€ข in reply tohealingharpist

Thank you Diane.Your partner sounds lovely, how caring. I will have to have a look on line. I love the two Ronnie's too and Porridge. You forget about the oldies but often they are the best!

I love singing and performing with our ukulele band (we play in a care home and get the residents involved, which is great fun). That fills me with joy. Music fills my soul. I'm a very lucky lady.

Adalaide2020 profile image
Adalaide2020โ€ข in reply tohealingharpist

Found the two Ronnie's and laughed out loud ๐Ÿคฃ. Thank you for that Diane.Have a great day and be well x

healingharpist profile image
healingharpistโ€ข in reply toAdalaide2020

You're so welcome! and I found "Porridge" and can't wait to watch, so thanks for that tip, Adalaide! 2 other comedies we love are also oldies: "'Allo, 'Allo" about Rene who runs a wartime French cafe, and "Are You Being Served?" (also called "Grace and Favour", maybe?)-- we laugh ourselves silly on those. Laughter is so important with heart-related conditions... it eases everything, including our fears. Blessings!

Adalaide2020 profile image
Adalaide2020โ€ข in reply tohealingharpist

All old favourites. Enjoy! ๐Ÿ˜Š

Buffafly profile image
Buffafly

Hi Adelaide, I moved home in July with full blown AF and a bowel inflammation as well. After the chaotic move I had symptoms of heart failure too and itโ€™s taken all this time to get halfway sorted - it was a triumph to hang the living room curtains yesterday! I do feel frustrated and depressed sometimes and a bit panicky when I think about what still needs doing. But if I draw a circle representing my life the โ€˜mad moveโ€™ represents half a wedge out of 79 and Iโ€™m hoping to live to add more wedges! I hope you can come back in six months with good news, best wishes โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿฉน

Adalaide2020 profile image
Adalaide2020โ€ข in reply toBuffafly

Dear Buttafly.You made me smile ๐Ÿ˜Š. You went through a lot to hang those curtains, well done! I wish you many more wedges Buttafly. I hope to report back that all is well here. It may take a tad longer , who knows?

Thank you for your lovely response.

Jajarunner profile image
Jajarunner

Bless you. After my third I was so depressed. It's a sort.of shock to the mind, body and spirit plus it was winter and I was on the verge of losing my job, and I felt rubbish for three months (as I did after each of them). Finally it only worked for three months!!! So I totally get where you are and am sending you a ginormous hug. Hope it helps. ๐Ÿค—

Adalaide2020 profile image
Adalaide2020โ€ข in reply toJajarunner

Thank you Jajarunner. My second one lasted 3 months too. Such a disappointment. I need all the hugs I can get at the mo ๐Ÿค—.

You had a very stressful time too what with your job. They say be stress free if possible. If only eh?!

Thank you again for understanding, I dont feel such a fraud now. ๐Ÿ˜Š

Jajarunner profile image
Jajarunnerโ€ข in reply toJajarunner

I'm on amiodarone at the mo. It's bliss , feel like I've got my life back after three years of all that ####. But EP wants me off it so it's a fourth ablation for me. Hopefully I can go into this one fit and get over it quicker (others all done urgently). And don't worry about the house, your health comes first (easier said than done I know ๐Ÿ™„

Adalaide2020 profile image
Adalaide2020โ€ข in reply toJajarunner

So glad the amiodarone is working. I couldn't get on with it and I think it's a drug for a limited time only. If you go for a 4th I wish you a great outcome. Take care jajarunner and thanks.

healingharpist profile image
healingharpistโ€ข in reply toAdalaide2020

My mother has been on 100 mg amiodarone for 24 years! no symptoms, no side effects, and has never had another AF episode in that time. If you can get your dose of amio low enough, I wonder if your EP would still want you off it. I believe there are many people who remain on it for many years, but the higher the dose goes, the more difficult are the side effects. Wishing you much improvement! Diane

Adalaide2020 profile image
Adalaide2020โ€ข in reply tohealingharpist

Wow! I'm amazed as my cardiologist said it was only short term, in my case perhaps because it was a high dose.But if it's working...๐Ÿคž

healingharpist profile image
healingharpistโ€ข in reply toAdalaide2020

Just saw my cardio yesterday, and he agreed, we're keeping low-dose amiodarone as a backup for me (flecainide is working fine so far). He mentioned I would not need to be in hospital to run a trial of amio, so that makes it easier if it ever becomes necessary.

Adalaide2020 profile image
Adalaide2020โ€ข in reply tohealingharpist

Good news. If flecainide Is working at the mo that's great news too. I couldn't get one with either but each to their own I shall keep my fingers crossed for you ๐Ÿคž๐Ÿ˜Š

JOY2THEWORLD49 profile image
JOY2THEWORLD49

Hi

You have just changed your heart again.

Your heart is resettling.

If you want this latest procedure to succeed do feel positive.

cheri JOY. There is no going back.

Adalaide2020 profile image
Adalaide2020โ€ข in reply toJOY2THEWORLD49

So true Joy.Thank you. Today has been a more positive day. I'm working on the rest ๐Ÿ™‚

JOY2THEWORLD49 profile image
JOY2THEWORLD49โ€ข in reply toAdalaide2020

Great Adelaide.

I've just had my R Shoulder done and I have been so positive that I had little pain.

Now I'm bored and eating well I have difficulty as my left remaining hand I have essential tremor makes it a big task with spilling etc.

4.5 weeks to go.

cheri JOY

Take your B12 to 700 though.

Adalaide2020 profile image
Adalaide2020โ€ข in reply toJOY2THEWORLD49

Hi Joy.Good to hear your positivity reduced the pain in your shoulder. I'm not sure what has been going on for you recently. 4.5 weeks to go...?

I can say for a fact that being on this forum has helped me, especially today, thank you.

I have read your history; you have had a difficult journey Joy. I hope you get the results you are after.

Its reassuring to get so many responses, all of which are positive.

Good night and be well.

JOY2THEWORLD49 profile image
JOY2THEWORLD49โ€ข in reply toAdalaide2020

Hi

Yes we cant literally moan to our surgeon.

As you may have read as my heart is structurally abnormal so no cardioversion, anti-arrhymnic meds or ablations.

I read that the cyto ablation is the best option.

A friend had AF now and then, he was on 5 meds. Now nothing, surgeon found he had 2 rogue rhythmns. Lucky guy it must be 2 years since.

I was left, no follow up after stroke with AF rapid and persistent. It was 1 yr 4 months when I demanded a h/specialist. Who changed me from Metoprolol @ 187 hbm to Bisoprolol 156 hbm.

8 mths later sent to a private h/specialist. Introduced CCB Diltiazem.

Now on Diltiazem 120mg AM'

Bisoprolol 2.5mg PM

110-130. 69. 60s H/R Day

I see a new young Chinese H/Specialist at end of this month. See what he says but best locum Dr suggested that I ask him about another drug which has a diaretic. Left ventricle is dilated. Right ventricle is regurgitating.

But at night regardless of meds night rate is 47average shown on 3 x 24hr heart monitors.

At least the Anaesthetists won't hassle about H/R being over 100. I couldn't have had the last 2 operations. They went ahead with the Thyroidectomy regardless. I was lucky that the hospital scanned my carotid arteries to find the shadow on my thyroid. Already the papillary cancer was down 2 lymh nodes. (12 were removed).

I am meant to be alive.

I'll be praying for your speedy success.

Cheri JOY

Adalaide2020 profile image
Adalaide2020โ€ข in reply toJOY2THEWORLD49

Good morning Joy.

I agree , you are meant to be alive.

And yes, we hear stories or know of someone who has come out of a procedure and are living a life of enviable quality (or so we think). I'm happy for them and that's why I dont give up and neither do you because (I believe) we can improve our lot given the correct support. I feel for those with minimal or no insurance. Life isn't fair, that's a given. I am lucky to live in Enland with NHS support. Many would dispute the support side, but I have two amazing arrhythmia nurses to call on and I've had five procedures and regular check ups. I'm not bragging, I just know how fortunate I am compared to others. That is why I wanted to get a handle on this feeling of depression.

I start walking my dog tomorrow. Its Armistice Sunday and I want to stand with my partner and dog and not forget how lucky we are.

Going on a bit here. Not the right place perhaps.

Have a great day Joy.

JOY2THEWORLD49 profile image
JOY2THEWORLD49โ€ข in reply toAdalaide2020

hi to all AFERS a dog is a plus.

JAZ has her strokes throughout every day. and when i stop she nestles in or paws me.

we could continue on private messaging.

one day at the time.

i now have my oldest aunt-in-law thati rung and found her poorly i asked to be rung. no i've been emailed after the event so i'm feeling sad.

cheri JOY

we hav SUSAN CALMAN and her motor camper.

Rainfern profile image
Rainfern

Continuing to recover from my first ablation six weeks ago (does the recovery journey ever stop?!) so I can fully understand how you feel having recently moved house! I hope this time your ablation is successful.

In my experience I find that listening to what my physical heart needs has made me more acutely aware of what my emotional heart needs. And I have found a kind of solidity in this. Im better able to express my needs. I wonโ€™t be pushed, cajoled or patronised by anyone! I will not do or go anywhere that could upset this precious gift of NSR and I will only recover through adequate rest and stillness of the mind. I make it sound as if my partner had been doing the cajoling etc. But it is actually something I do to myself, out of habit as a way of getting things done. And whatโ€™s the point of getting things done if it doesnโ€™t help our recovery?

You canโ€™t cajole yourself out of your depression, but you can do some gentle listening. I find if I say โ€œhello my sadness, I know youโ€™re here and I am right here for youโ€ I can embrace the hurt without letting it overwhelm me. And being more present for myself stops me hoping my partner could be entirely perfect! Hope this makes sense! Good luck

Adalaide2020 profile image
Adalaide2020โ€ข in reply toRainfern

A lovely example of mindfulness. I cried when I read your post. I cry a lot at the mo. A kind of dischard I think. When I think how scared I've been prior to this last procedure its little wonder I have a lot of unresolved emotional 'stuff'. Like you I'm not prepared to do anything I'm not happy doing. My partner does look overwhelmed as he is doing the lion's share and he fell and hurt his wrist 3 days ago. Thankfully it's not broken. But he is not a happy bunny which triggers me to want to 'do' stuff to help him. I tottering off and get his painkillers and make him tea as he is dealing with house stuff. Fortunately he just looks hard done by but is a rock in my life. He can change his face! ๐Ÿ˜„

Thank you so much for your post and yes it does make sense.

Have a great day and continue to be well. X

Rainfern profile image
Rainfern

Thank you Adalaide - yes, I learned that bit of mindfulness with Thich Nhat Hanh on a zen Buddhist retreat some years ago!

The partners in our lives certainly do feel the strain. We ended up booking in a fortnightly cleaner for a few weeks and that has helped. Hubby has CFS. Also followed the AF advice sheet and made meals very easy with a Tesco order to doorstep. Weโ€™re not exactly spending on a world tour right now, so why not? ๐Ÿ˜€

Adalaide2020 profile image
Adalaide2020โ€ข in reply toRainfern

Why not indeed! Whatever makes life easy.I was introduced to Thich Nhat Hanh via my yoga group. Just on line but his posts are very soothing, only I forget to go there when I really need to ๐Ÿค” so your post has been a timely reminder. Thank you.

Ducky2003 profile image
Ducky2003

As you know, recovering from an ablation is not a quick process.I'm not going to vilify your other half, as sometimes it's easy to forget that they (or certainly my hubby) get stressed when seeing their loved one unwell and are not always sure how to deal with things for the best.

You know your fella, we don't, so what may look a flippant remark to strangers, you probably know isn't meant that way.

My hubby knows I respond better to positivity as he knows I will start to worry, if I think he is struggling mentally with all the rubbish that comes with AF.

I may be completely wrong about yours and he may be a right git ๐Ÿคฃ.

Whatever, you need to take things steady and not rush into normality and try and concentrate on the good stuff that can come of this latest zapping.

Hopefully, your mood will lift a little every day and you'll be feeling yourself again soon....... not in a rude way ๐Ÿ˜.

Adalaide2020 profile image
Adalaide2020โ€ข in reply toDucky2003

๐Ÿ˜„thank you. My partner is my rock as I have already said . He has seen me through 4 of these procedures before and never complains . Hes the most level headed man I know but when I had come out of hospital this time things went a bit daft. We were in Brighton for my ablation and staying in our motorhome. The weather was abysmal. The van rocking and rolling and my wound was pumping out blood at quite a rate. It was messy and I could see he was worried but he did what was needed. I ended up going back to the hospital in the early hours so they could stop the bleeding. He would climb a mountain for me but dont ask for any soppy stuff ๐Ÿ˜„. My rock.

Ducky2003 profile image
Ducky2003โ€ข in reply toAdalaide2020

This is why I thought some were a bit quick to judge the poor guy. ๐Ÿ˜Š. Mine can be a bit insensitive at times but I know when push comes shove, he'd walk over hot coals for me.

My wound was still bleeding whilst I was coming round and they asked me, half asleep, to put my fist on it for half an hour.

It stopped bleeding out but continued to bleed internally and I ended up with having a vascular ultrasound a few days later and a leg that was bruised from groin to toe.

If you're suffering from any bad bruising, Arnica cream is amazing.

Here's hoping for a full and swift recovery for you.๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿคž

Adalaide2020 profile image
Adalaide2020โ€ข in reply toDucky2003

Thank you Ducky. I'm not too bad bruise wise, had worse. Wound still a bit ... weepy.

Nothing to write home about.

Thank you for your good wishes x

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