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Grumpy with AFIB

mjm1971 profile image
32 Replies

Hi all

So I don’t get symptoms when I’m in AFIB but my wife says she now notices as she says I get moody / grumpy and short etc .

Is this a cause of being in AFIb ? or am I just genuinely a grumpy old git lol

Thanks

Matt

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mjm1971 profile image
mjm1971
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32 Replies
Jaws66 profile image
Jaws66

I found I was grumpy when on beta blockers, and came off them because of the effects on my personality.

mjm1971 profile image
mjm1971 in reply to Jaws66

I’m on 2.5mg of bisoporol a day ?

BobD profile image
BobDVolunteer

You know that I never knew my wife had AF till now. lol 😁

in reply to BobD

😱😱😱😂😂😂 If I made a remark like that regarding Mrs CarnEuny I'd be on death row.

John

Ducky2003 profile image
Ducky2003 in reply to BobD

It's been nice knowing you Bob 😁.

Ascb profile image
Ascb in reply to BobD

😂😂😂😂

Hi Matt, or Grumpy old git!I suffer this too and for me it's frustration at not feeling 'right'. Being slowed down, not wanting to make a fuss, but wanting to be left in peace until it passes. BobD made a funny response about not knowing his wife had AF until now, but underneath that joke is a truth that lots of people don't want to make a fuss about this every time we are in AF. The number of times I've trailed behind family, feeling rotten, when there's been an outing planned and I don't want to be the one to spoil it, for example. You know that if you speak up there'll be an almighty fuss and plans will be altered. It's not great for your mood. You know what? So long as our grumpiness doesn't impact on others, I think we are blooming well entitled to feel a bit fed up! Yours, Grumpieroldwoman 😄

I don’t think it’s at all unusual for AF to have an impact on someone’s personality. In my case, within less than 12 hours after diagnosis, I changed from someone who had never been ill into someone with a heart condition that I knew nothing about and for all I knew, was going to scupper all my plans for retirement and seriously curtail my life span. I won’t go into all the circumstances, but being diagnosed with AF had a major impact on my personality as my wife will attest!

However, I was so lucky, the cardiologist I saw was in the process of forming an AF Support Group and someone who will remain nameless called RosyG contacted me and I became involved in the Group right from the start. I also joined this forum at around the same time and got involved in a number of initiatives generated by the AFA so I relatively quickly began to realise that there was life after AF. I’m still a grumpy ole git tho and sometimes, my sense of humour can get me into trouble!

In the early days, I’m pretty sure the drugs were having a significant impact on my mood, at one point pre cardioversion and ablation, I was taking Bisoprolol, Diltiazem and Digoxin and I believe the side effects were far worse than the symptoms of AF. Now I only take Diltiazem and an anticoagulant and life is much, much better.

Having met so many people who have AF in one form or another has been such a great help too because so many have shown a determination to not let it adversely impact on their lives which, as we all know, is not easy with so much else going on at the moment.

Sorry for being a bit long winded but I think knowledge and understanding is a very important part in minimising grumpiness and mood swings…….

beach_bum profile image
beach_bum in reply to

Also was grumpy and exhausted on beta blocker... Metoprolol... switched to Diltiazem...chanel bkocker, and back to the old me, so meds do make a difference. Why was I grumpy? I initially envisioned me clear of afib, but doomed to an inactive life..which just would not work for me...so ya...a bit grumpy.

jeanjeannie50 profile image
jeanjeannie50

Hi Matt

You know what they say - if the hat fits wear it!

I doubt AF is the cause, but think that as we age we become more and more outspoken, which can be viewed as grumpiness. We probably spent most of our lives holding in what we'd really like to say to people, but that barrier that stopped us has dropped lower. I was pleased to tell the dental receptionist where I go, that with covid and fewer people at the dental surgery it might be a good time to re-cover the drab well worn settee in the waiting area. I said it politely, but I could see that she was a bit taken aback!

There are still nice things to point out to people too. Just lately I comment to complete strangers how beautiful their dogs are - so many gorgeous dogs around these days! Is AF causing me to do that - no!

Jean

Bawdy profile image
Bawdy in reply to jeanjeannie50

I so agree, I don't think I found my voice, my loud voice, till I was much older, I so wish I had found it earlier, Yes I have become more outspoken because with age we become more intolerant of stupidness, not a word, but yes, the friends drop off because you may not be as accommodating as you once were. That's good because I would rather be reading a book than listening to stuff that I have no interest in and entertaining people when I wasn't in the mood. Yes, cranky but still lovable.XX.

Matt,

If thats the case I'm in permanent AF 😂.

More seriously, my wife has made similar comments to me about my moods this year but there are things that set me apart ........

1) I've been driving 11m buses around Cornish roads ( that more resemble an Afghanistan goat track than anything else) in direct competition with civilian motorists who have invaded Cornwall in recent months. I resemble a duck paddling upstream - all calm in my bus on the surface but sething ( paddling away furiously )underneath. somethings gotta give and it does so at home. I even start abusing some dim witted newscaster on TV.

2) Anything newsworthy about the NHS sets me off, then .....

3) In March 2021 I was diagnosed with a right eye cataract. Was told not bad enough to be dealt with by NHS ( now there's a surprise). By August my sight was a much more serious problem and I had another eye examination and this time my vision had deteriorated so much that I qualified for surgery under NHS. I notified DVLA ..... no answer was the stern reply ..... so I have not yet had my PCV licence revoked .... so I'm still driving buses with my employers eternal gratitude. Spacial vision and distance judegment are fine, reading words is beyond crap, so my relaxing moments off duty like reading a book, newspaper, magazine ( apart from pictures) is now non existant and for someone who might bring their work home and who now has their nonexistant relaxing off duty time ruined my mood swings are volatile/explosive. Anyway, not long to go now till private surgery at a cost £2600 (18 October) then I'll be normal again 😱😱

So the point to all this rambling on and on is that it just might not be AF in disguise but that you might just becoming like me .... and Mrs BobD, and Flapjack et al.

😂😂😂

John

Crystalbowl profile image
Crystalbowl in reply to

Hello Carneuny. Just wondering, if you now ‘qualify’ for cataract surgery on the NHS, you are paying to go privately. I have been told for years by my opticians that I have cataracts but clearly they were not bothering me and not advanced enough for surgery. However, last year when I had my annual eye test, the optician did offer to refer me. I assumed this would be to the Ophthalmology Department at my local hospital so, as we were in the midst of the pandemic at the time, I politely declined. However, following this, I found that people were being referred to a company called Spa Medica who specialise in eye care so when I had my annual eye test this year, I asked about it and the upshot is I am scheduled for cataract surgery on my right eye on 21/10.

RoyMacDonald profile image
RoyMacDonald in reply to Crystalbowl

Congratulations. I had both eyes done privately about 5 years ago and it was the best thing I've ever done. Took 5 mins per eye (a few weeks apart) both painless, and you can see properly straight away. They corrected my vison as well so after 65 years of wearing glasses I no longer need them. Yea.😄 Except for reading that is.

All the best.

Roy

in reply to Crystalbowl

Hiya Crystalbowl,

Yes, I do now qualify for NHS inspired surgery however, its all gone terribly quiet and I suspect that I am somewhere down near the bottom of the food chain in terms of getting treatment. I cannot be bothered to wait because as a 77 year old bus driver I need a medical each year in order to retain my PCV (Bus) licence. This year my PCV licence expires on 21 October. I have had my medical assessment and the examining Optician gave me the very minimum and basic pass mark - however - he added do not be surprised if DVLA still revoke your licence. So, basically, any delay has its consequences and I'm not prepared to wait. Apart from that, down here at the pointy end of Cornwall we are desperately short of bus drivers and alot of rural routes serving remote communities are often experiencing cuts in services. Yep, believe it or not, not everyone has a motor car or a computer. At the moment as the Motor Traffic Act stands even though my licence might expire I can still continue driving until I get to the point where DVLA tell me in writing I can't (by revoking my licence). My employer is considering if they can make a financial contribution to my £2600 through their corporate healthcare fund of which I am a member. Gosh, it'd be great to see properly again.

John

Crystalbowl profile image
Crystalbowl in reply to

Thanks for your lengthy reply and I can see your reasoning although it doesn’t seem right that I only had my eye test on 19/8 and am having the op on 21/10. Looks like a post code lottery. I know bus drivers are in short supply and yesterday on the news an HGV driver was saying he was unable to work because his licence was being held up at DVLA. We live in crazy times! Good luck. As you say, being able to see properly again will be wonderful.

Auriculaire profile image
Auriculaire in reply to

I shout at the nit wits on the news every day ! I am definitely less tolerant than I used to be. Luckily I have no pressures on me when in afib though I do try to put on a cheery face for my husband as it seems to worry him more than it does me. I had a complete meltdown and howled due to frustration on Monday trying to arrange my x rays for my 1st post op surgeon appointment. Nobody at x ray seemed to be answering the telephone and it was stuck in a loop between annoying music and then sending you back to square one to press 1,2, or 3 for your desired option. After it did this a third time , I gave up in a rage at electronic answering systems and started my practice walk on the sticks ( this time the op was complicated and I have to stick to the walking frame to move about the house) . I just could not do it my leg had got so stiff and painful sitting at the table with the phone and this was the last straw. I howled like a kid much to the consternation of my husband who came rushing into the kitchen to see what was wrong. What was really wrong was that it is now 2 years that I have been in pain from these bloody hips and the mirage of at last being normal again has retreated further into the future due to this op not going as well as the last ( which I have to confess I did not envisage - I thought it would be easier having done it all before) . I was so upset I was sure I was going to go into afib but on the contrary the meltdown did me good.

in reply to Auriculaire

Hiya Auriculaire,

Love the opening line ... 'nit wits' .... haven't heard that for decades, my mother used the expression frequently

😂

I hope my mother wasn't referring to me.

Yep, Mrs CarnEuny seems to get upset more than I do whether I have minor wobblies on and off during the year or whether my heart goes into meltdown, thankfully very rarely.

So sorry to read of your post op traumas though. Nothing worse than when you've been there done that and it just doesn't work out. I do hope time passes with alot more comfort than you've experienced so far. At least though your heart has behaved and for that I guess you must be eternally grateful .... I bloody well would be, for sure.

May the force be with you.

John

Auriculaire profile image
Auriculaire in reply to

Thank you John. My heart hasn't been too bad. I had one episode about a fortnight before going in at the usual 2 month mark. Then another last week. But it was only about 7 hours so shorter than usual . My mother usually was referring to me or my sister when the nit wit insult came out!

Maggimunro profile image
Maggimunro

Sorry but I had to laugh when reading your post. According to your theory half the older men in existence therefore have AFib.

Ducky2003 profile image
Ducky2003

I'm sure my husband would say I was a moody bint prior to the AF .......... but not to my face 😁.

You're not alone with this. Although I'm very symptomatic with my bouts of AF (although quite rare now post ablation) I do feel irritable with it. It's difficult to explain but I guess with the discomfort, disappointment, the feeling of having run a hundred metres when you're trying to get on with your everyday life is not surprising. Good luck with it.

Cha275rL profile image
Cha275rL

I wasn’t aware that my husband had AF. But he must have. In abundance!!

AF causes some people to experience anxiety and/or depression-this is well-documented. These conditions may, in turn, make AF more likely -perhaps indirectly through excessive eating/drinking for example. So it's a vicious circle.

Daboban profile image
Daboban in reply to

Hi Samazeuilh. Just to say your comments fit my circumstances exactly but never knew this until today. I have replied to Matt too if you are interested.

GrannyE profile image
GrannyE

I think your body knows there is something wrong so maybe you are more sensitive with AFib and possibly less patient do you think? I find I can cope quite well most of the time but eventually my BP goes up and I become very upset and it takes me a while to settle down again. My AFib is there pretty well all the time now but I can live with it like this. Problem is that with AFib you look OK until you become noticeably breathless etc.

Daboban profile image
Daboban

Hi Matt and all that have replied. Once again this forum has helped me with an answer to a condition I have but has only been pointed out to me by my wife, being grumpy! So it is the drugs.I must point out I also have cfs/me and was blaming the depression side of that.

I find my poor physical quality of life gets me down, unable to do manual work.

If I can take this reason (the drugs) for my wife telling me I am grumpy, and me not understanding what she is talking about, I will improve in that department.

Thanks all.

Flipflopper profile image
Flipflopper

My husband can tell I’m about to go into afib because I too get a bit grumpy beforehand. I feel off, and sometimes a bit dizzy. I am a bit sharp when I’ve been in afib for longer than 10 hours as well. IThat part may be due to the fact that I hate having attention called to my condition. So if I get a bit direct when answering questions. my children ask if I was in a fib the night previous and if I am off and a bit emotional or grumpy, my husband says, “well I guess your going into afib tonight”. It’s usually so.

kathie659 profile image
kathie659

Ablation 4 years ago..no afib till 6 weeks ago...(it has since stopped) but while i was in afib and immediately after? I was short tempered and anxious and depressed. Im in US..it wasnt so much the afib. But the thoughts of fighting with insurance company for treatment. Saw cardiologist yesterday, noted symptoms stopped once onsimnia was addessed...hopefully im okay again. But yes, afib and the worry changes us.

kathie659 profile image
kathie659

Insomnia

Dr-Gohan profile image
Dr-Gohan

I personally find that I am grumpy, resentful, and discontent most days for about 30 minutes after getting out of bed. I sit on the couch and wait for the pot to boil, so I can make a nice cup of tea.

My brew is a mix of ginger laced with prune juice.

This in an effort to combat constipation, which is caused by the list of medications I take.

I let the dogs out and while my anti-constipation tea is steeping, I clean up the deposits they have left in their favorite part of the yard.

Now the three dogs follow me back into the house and sit quietly awaiting their morning dog bone.

Now I can take my delightful cup of medicinal liquid and make my way back to the couch. Sit and have a sip, say a quiet prayer oh God bless me with a bowel movement this morning.

Then I put on the BP cuff and hit the button.

BP 117/82 pulse 78bpm.

Not bad.

I remember when not too long ago in the ER.

The reading was 160/103 with 173bpm.

That day I was diagnosed with AFib.

Take the cuff off and wiggle, yes wiggle my toes.

To remind myself how lucky I am.

I think of a few things that I am grateful for.

All of you that are apart of this forum are on the list.

Sip my tea and count my blessings while enjoying the company of the dogs I surrender and accept life such as it is, I let

Mister Grumpy go away for now, put on my game face. Mr. Grumpy will return later when my wife turns on the evening news.

For now I choose to be contented. I can always complain later.

hawes180 profile image
hawes180

I thought I was all alone. My husband gets very grumpy when he is in a-fib.

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