I was recently lying on a hospital trolley waiting for a loop implant. The people in the next bay were very quietly discussing a series of events when one of their friends went in for an ablation. Apparently he said goodbye to his wife, was kitted out, wheeled into the operating theatre and introduced to the EP. Right said the EP ."Lets get started". He pulled out a stool, produced a scalpel and started tidying up a few odd bits of skin. "Can we get the appendage out of the way" he said. A piece of string was produced, a loop was made and the offending item was pulled off to one side.
At that moment a couple of RAF fighters went supersonic directly overhead. The EP jumped, his hand twitched, and very neatly sliced off the appendage, which one of the nurses caught as it went whistling past. Just to complicate matters a young motor cyclist was wheeled through into an adjacent bay. "Not too much hope for this one" his doctor said. A very handsome well equipped, soon to be expired, young man. "Can I have an organ swap? ", he said "that will cost you " said his colleague
The EP grabbed some clamps to staunch the blood flow and told one the nurses to apply direct pressure. He grabbed his phone, rang his professional insurance company. £20.000 they said. He took a deep breath, grabbed a clean apron and nipped into the waiting room to see the patients wife. He explained the situation and made his appeal "We have a choice. I can offer you an enhanced, er, larger appendage and £10.000, or I can offer to re-attach the existing, er appendage, and offer you £20,000. I hate to rush you but the situation is urgent. So what do you want?
She thought carefully for a few seconds. " £20.000" she said.
"I want a new Kitchen". She said.
Royal brompton
Ablation Redo
Anyone with a loop recorder
Heart rate in afib and when to go to ER or A&E
