The Cost of Special Reports

[stargazer61]

A woman brought a very limp parrot into a veterinary clinic. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Polly has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure? I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, shrugged, turned and left the room returning in a few moments with a beautiful black Labrador. As the bird's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the parrot from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet escorted the dog from the room and returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up and delicately sniffed the bird. The cat then sat back, shook it's head, meowed and ran out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but, like I said, your parrot is most definitely 100% certifiably dead."

He then turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman.

The parrot's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "A HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS!" she cried. "A HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS just to tell me my bird is dead?!"

The vet shrugged. "If you'd taken my word for it the bill would only

have been $20, but... what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan.....

__

[Beancounter Volunteer]

A Vet was feeling ill and went to see her doctor.

The doctor asked her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when she interrupted him.

"Hey look, I'm a vet - I don't need to ask my patients these kind of questions. I can tell what's wrong just by looking." She smugly added, "Why can't you?"

The doctor nodded, stood back, looked her up and down, quickly wrote out a prescription, handed it to her and said,

"There you are. Of course, if that doesn't work, we'll have to have you put to sleep."

[seasider18]

I've had three eye appointment at the hospital in the past year and not had a copy of the letters sent to my GP although the sign on the wall states that you will be sent a copy unless you ask for one not to be sent. I always ask for one to make doubly sure. At each appointment I was seen by a different person and they all gave conflicting conclusions that I wanted to compare and give to an optician when I go for my next sight test.

I phoned the consultants secretary and got a voice mailbox full message about ten times over several weeks before being able to leave my request. Still no reply so I contacted PALS at the hospital. They said that asking for back copies of letters usually involved a charge of £10 but he would speak to the secretary. He phoned back to say that she would phone me but it might not be in the next two weeks... That was in early December and still no call or letters. He also said that as well as having sent copies to my GP that she had sent copies to my opticians Bill and Ben.

I told him that I had never ever been to them and that I tend to float around different ones as I have difficulty in finding the traditional type of frames that I like.

I recalled that when I had my cataracts done in 2014 they asked where I would go for reading glasses and I said that I might try Bill and Ben this time.

[PeterWh in reply to seasider18]

Tip. Always use the same optician for your eye tests as it is VERY important in the long run that you have a complete set of results so that they can identify trends and also if something develops in the future be able to look back. Sometimes they look back at all results over the last 10 or 15 years (they did in my case). You can then ask them for a prescription and you can buy your glasses elsewhere. An alternative is for you to find the frames that you like at another opticians, make a note of name and model and then ask your own optician to buy them in. In many cases opticians use the same supplier or lab to get the glasses or lenses. In my case before I had an eye operation 18 months ago there was only 1 (ONE) lab in the whole of Europe that were able to make the lens that I wanted / needed but the price of the most expensive for the lenses was 4 times the cheapest!!!!

[seasider18 in reply to PeterWh]

I have taken prescriptions elsewhere with disastrous results. I took a prescription to NYC as glasses were much cheaper there. I bought two pairs and the sidewalks of New York and sides of subway trains all became convex. I went back and they tested my eyes and said that my prescription was wrong and replaced the lenses.

Here I took a prescription to another optician and could not see properly with the new glasses. They tested my eyes again and said that the prescription was wrong for me. They contacted the first optician who tested my eyes again and insisted that her prescription was correct. A battle ensued between them that ended with optician number one having to pay for the work done by the second one. They said they had that problem a lot with the first optician. While I was waiting for the second eye test there two other people came in complaining about their new lenses. That was the one who closed down.

My wife also had a problem when taking a prescription to another optician.

[PeterWh in reply to seasider18]

Never had that problem at all and until 18 months ago when I had eye operation had a special prescription. Then for post op glasses consultant gave prescription and bought from a 2 hour high street optician. First time I had prescription from an optician was because we had to supply to work because of prescription safety glasses even though I rarely went to site.

[seasider18]

Probably good advice but I have worked in different areas and lived in different parts of the country. I had a good one who retired another who died and a useless one who went out of business.

I then went to Boots who had a marvellous Guy but he left. They evidently pay very badly and import poorly paid opticians from South Africa who seem to move from branch to branch as they make their way back to the airport to go home.

The consultant at the hypertension clinic found a problem just days after they tested my eyes. When I later went to them with a sudden vision problem they said it was not for them and would not even look at it and to go to A&E.