We often talk about stress and how it can seriously affect heart rhythm.
Because my mother in law was diagnosed Cancer, a very large Aneurysm and has failing memory she has caused us my wife, her brother, his wife and myself a lot of stress over the past 8 months.
This evening she was found on the kitchen floor and was pronounced dead when the ambulance arrived.
We live 75 miles away and I have been trying to sort out the funeral directors to help deal with everything for us.
The reason for my post is that I was serenely trying to sort everything out when my heart started beating very very fast for th first time in months.
I feared the worst but no my heart didn’t go into AF. It all calmed down after about 15 minutes of slow breathing but I was very worried at the time.
Peace is indivisible.
Pete
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pottypete1
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So sorry Pete, must be such a shock. Glad the breathing did the trick, take care of yourself and no good me saying anything or trotting out platitudes, must be so hard, but it sounds like you've got it under control, hope it's not too rough on you keep strong , lifes a struggle at best of times with AF without stress like this so take care of yourself mate and keep the relaxed breathing up.
Good grief, what a time you seem to be having. Glad to hear you didn't go into AF mode! Well done for taking control and recognising what was happening to you. Really sorry to hear about your mum in law, hope all the arrangements can be sorted out easily for you all. Take care.
Sorry you have all this extra stress and my condolences for the loss of ma in law. Trust your breathing exs continue to do the trick. There is no good way to shove off this mortal coil I fear.
Sorry to hear about your tough times, and your loss - and the shock. Feel for you.
Very glad it didn’t turn into AF - well done for what you did and not stressing out more when your heart went fast! Keep the slow breathing going... I hope the next days aren’t too stressful. Take care x
So sorry for all the stress, pain and now grief you and your family have gone thru and will go thru as you put her to rest. Dementia is so hard to deal with, it sucks the air out of a person. In some ways losing a person who isn’t really there is a relief. Then people feel guilt for feeling relief. Life is hard but death can be cruel. Prayers for you all. Pat yourselves on the back for doing what you could for her. ❤️
You are so right dealing with her we gradually sapping all the life from us.
You have summed things up so well. We live 75 miles away and with my sister in law who lives nearer we have been doing so many things. We had just managed to get a care package approved to help us.
Trouble really was that she was a person who would accept no help and was really nasty in the way she rejected everything we tried to do for her. Believe it or not the last phone call I had from her she swore at me for “interfering”.
I is so sad as I have known her for 50 years and we could write a book about how difficult her life has been.
Despite insisting that she should stay in her own home she was very lonely and I now just hope she’s at peace.
I'm sorry to hear that Pete, sounds like a very stressful few months, and the shock of a family death is enough to upset the steadiest heart. Oh, and those numerous bureaucratic tasks just when you could do without them.
Glad to hear all settled down in the end. All the best with everything x
Sorry to hear of your awful experience and your heart reacting to it in typical fashion for us af folk. Condolenses to your family it's an awful shock. Here's hoping your heart stays calm now you have managed to still it again. Seems your heart will need extra special care while you go through all your current family situation please put yourself first during this stressful time.
Trouble is despite being a pretty logical type of person my heart has a mind of its own and when I get in any sort of stressful situation it starts up.
In recent years I have done my best to avoid confrontation as it is bad for me. However I am going to be the one dealing with all the notifications and dealing with communication with authority and therefore stress is going to be very hard to avoid.
For example last night I had to contact the funeral directors as it was after hours I was put through to a call centre and was asked stupid questions like what is my name, what is my address and did my mother-in-law want to be cremated or buried. That was before they would even take the information about coming to the house to deal with my poor mother-in-law.
It was very upsetting. I felt they were just saying words like “sorry for your loss” and not really meaning it because they were just doing their job which I appreciate cannot be easy.
I completely understand your frustration Pete. My husband and I have been responsible for organising both of my in laws funerals within a six month period this year. All while my sister in law swanned off on a pre booked holiday to Spain and we had to wait three weeks longer for the funeral than normal while she enjoyed getting a tan would you believe and her poor dad was kept lingering in the funeral home. That added frustration caused some consternation I can tell you and not a little anger.
Last Christmas was known to be her mums last and she swanned off abroad yet again leaving us to care for her dying mother over Christmas and new year. Then we had to take into account her daughters uni course and had to wait for a date available only on a Friday, for the funeral, unbelievable.
I so hope the inevitable stress involved at this awful time can be offset with some tlc, deep breathing techniques and family support. I feel for you I really do, best wishes.
That sounds similar to the experience we have had with a sister of my wife who lived much nearer but rarely lifted a finger.
Yesterday we all went to my MIL’s home to start the painful task of clearing the home and all my sister in law did was sit on her backside and she didn’t lift a finger, complaining that we were weren't going about it in a logical way.
I am really not looking forward to the next couple of weeks.
So sorry to hear your sad news this morning Pete. We just never know what's around the corner, but I know that you had been concerned for your mother-in-laws health for quite a time.
It's amazing that your heart only had a short spell of racing, but perhaps that would have happened to anyone, even those without AF, receiving the news of a family death.
She will be at peace now. My condolences to everyone.
Although you may want to get arrangements sorted asap, just remember you really don't have to race to do that.
So sorry to hear of such a tragic event, although I am sure that all the extended family did most of the grieving for the loss of your mother-in-law a long time ago. I am just so sorry that the family had to go through such a traumatic time as her condition worsened. May she rest in peace.
Really thankful about your heart stayed peaceful, and hope that the funeral directors step up and take the weight off your shoulders. Thinking of you.
So sorry to hear this sad news, unfortunately there’s nothing more you can do for her now, and I’m sure she’s in a better place. You have to think of yourself now and after all the formalities are over try to take some time to relax and recuperate.
My best friend took her own life a few weeks ago, the shock to me was indescribable and like you my heart was beating out of my chest for a while but thankfully didn’t go into AF. Our hearts are very sensitive, take care of yours.
Suicide is the most awful thing to experience as a family.
12 years ago my nephew stood in front of an express train.
He had a very difficult life and had been in prison for the year leading up to his decision to end his life. It was a difficult couple of years as another nephew died a year before at the age of 16 from Cancer.
Got to pull myself together to deal with everything now as it will be my responsibility.
So sorry for your loss Pete. This time between your loved one passing & the organising of a funeral is so surreal. I hope you & your family stay strong together. You really need each other at these sad times. Stay well. R
Hi Pete , so sorry to hear about your MIL , any sudden shock seems to make the heart 'leap' for some of us doesn't it and there is always a tense moment of 'will that set me off '
so pleased that you managed to calm yourself.
I guess there will be a lot to do in the next few weeks, try not to get too tired and keep up the measured breathing.
So sorry to hear about your loss. Although there will be much to get through, be gentle to yourself and hopefully this will help your heart be gentle too. Take care. Kath.
I'm so sorry to read about your mother in law's death Pete - my condolences to you and your family. It's good that your heart coped and that the breathing worked - well done.
You will have much to cope with in the days ahead so try to lean on other people when you can. It doesn't help to have a family member who won't help but I think every family has such a person, don't they? I know from your previous posts how much you did for your mother in law and helped her with her devastating illness.
Set aside some 'me time' each day when you can breathe and relax. Look after yourself.
I take your point and thanks for the advice I am doing my best to have some me time.
Trouble is that I am the only person who can now do all the administration as others are mainly incapable of doing it.
My wife's elder sister is very unwell with MS, her younger sister has serious mental problems and as part of this is extremely selfish and it is my wife's brother and his wife who have worked so hard with us in the last 8 months trying to care for my MIL. We are therefore trying to give them a break as they were the nearest ( we live 75 miles away). Many a time they had a 20 mile mercy mission to sort out medication or something else very pressing.
Anyway better get on and try and finish my TO DO LIST
I do feel your stress & can identify with your emotions. So good that you know some settling methods that can help. Despite my KNOWLEDGE of the belly breathing etc things got the better of me when I was facing some very trying times and I ended up on the table for an ablation. Hope you can take time out for yourself, find something to enjoy. I found that a good laugh never felt so beneficial regardless of the circumstances. I wish well.
Hello Pete, sorry for your loss. I guess you are right, stress can be dangerous when it is not managed. I remember that my 2 AFIB attacks appeared when I was under a LOT of stress. Congratulations for your breathing technique, you successfully managed this situation and this is a good new, it means you can change the way the stress can affect yourself.
My father had many brothers and sisters and family rows and politics were often almost completely cut throat. When one of my Uncles was dying of cancer he called the remaining members of the family together to his hospital bed. "I want to be cremated" he said, " in xxxxx's front room". It can indeed be a strange and truly wonderful life. My best wishes to you. Take care . Ian
I heard today that another daughter who is incapable of most things and never lifted a finger to help her mother is saying everything is a f?/k up.
She has contributed nothing to help I am doing all the admin and arranging everything and therefore as you can understand I am particularly upset tonight.
You are doing your very best which is all you can do. Be kind to yourself.
Di
Belated sympathetic wishes to you and yours (been away for wet weekend in Norfolk). Hope you can pull everyone together to get through this difficult time. Accept all the help & support you can get to try & avoid more stress & keep the AF at bay.
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