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AF Association
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I got yelled at😢

Im 66 yr old, well seasoned old nurse who thought I could handle just about any thing. I always considered myself a calm person. Well today I got yelled at and hung up on by a mom of a teenager we know. Details arent important other than it was an over reaction, uncalled for and I was innocent( I know, everyone claims innocence!!!) The immediate severe physical reaction I had to getting yelled at suprised me. My chest got tight, my heart was pounding... it took everything I had just to drive home. I havent had an a fib event for about 13 mo and I was afraid this might push me over the edge. I took my metoprolol about 3 hours early and kicked back in my recliner and did some deep breathing and finally calmed down.

I tell you all this not for sympathy, but just how reactive our bodies can be. My old ticker was on alert and like a fire, I needed to douse it before it got too crazy. So now, 4 hours later, no a fib, Im calm and hoping I dont have any further interactions with the crazy woman.

5/15( next day): all quiet here on the home front. I am amazed and thankful at the massive response from you all, my cheering squad. We are so much alike. A fib is teaching me everyday to be my own best advocate! May God bless you all my 💜 friends!

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Stay calm- can still kick up - took me several days after driving in ice. Blessings

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Thankyou, good to know.

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I’m sorry that happened to you! I’m a nurse too and I know how that feels. We really need to “disconnect “ from other peoples stuff. You likely had an adrenaline surge and your fortunate you didn’t experience afib. Those interactions are so not worth it. I sometimes “take the bait” but I’m learning to stop and not take it in. When your trying to help people and they overreact or whatever it is hard to not take it in. I hope you stay well.

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Thankyou so much! She just caught me off guard plus I was driving. Shouldnt have answered the phone😳

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Isn’t it awful what an effect other people’s words can have on us? Then after those words have affected us the resentment follows, which makes it even worse.

Love to you Hoski, from a fellow 66 year old who’s not as tough as she’d like to be 😢

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I feel better just knowing Im not alone. Before a fib getting upset wasnt as threatening. Now, I will do whatever I can to not wake up the sleeping dog😉

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I suffer in exactly the same way.

I feel awful in any confrontational situation and every time I have a close call whilst driving I can feel my heart.

I think that those of us who have heart rhythm conditions are made very aware of any sudden increase in heart rate.

Pete

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snap, i'm exactly the same

Glad I walk to work nowadays

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I try to avoid any confrontation therefore will always back off a disagreement. In driving I drive as defensively as I can without hopefully annoying anyone. I believe I am a confident driver but if I get tail gated or carved up then straight away I can feel my heart and I get severe nausea as well.

Pete

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Yes, I hate it when people tailgate, especially at night. Ive pulled off and let them go around just for my peace of mind. My husband doesnt let those kinds of things bother him. I guess it’s different personalities.

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Had the same Sunday. We have a special needs non-verbal great-grandchild and she had let herself out of our granddaughter’s house and wandered off. As soon as our granddaughter called for help my heart lurched and I went into an Afib episode. Luckily Tilly was found before she got too far but it took 5mg of Nebivolol and 200 of Flecainide before I got back into NSR!

Thinking of you.

Di

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Wow thats a really scary situation. So glad she was found quickly.

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Now tagged!

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What a horrible experience for you - hopefully writing about it will help with putting behind you. Your body gave you a strong dose of adrenalin to help you to cope with the danger! 😩

Caller ID and voicemail are a godsend for such people as your nasty person. Relax, breathe and think happy thoughts. xx

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Thankyou so much. I felt a little stupid even posting it as intellectually I knew she wasnt worth the upset but I could not convince my emotions. Just sharing it with you all helped as I know you know what dread is involved with getting overly upset.

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Poor you! I'm glad you were able to head off a full blown episode and sorry for your upset xx

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Thankyou! Its the next day here and I think Ive escaped the bullet, lol.

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Not AF, but my heart used to race when commuting to and from work on the motorway - even as a passenger. Also when phoning people such as to ask for improved pricing when insurance, phone and power contracts came up for renewal. I couldn’t do my job as I was not able to put my opinions across in meetings. It was ridiculous - even the slightest elevation from being fully ‘chilled out’ had a negative effect on me.

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I really understand Ian

Good to know we are not alone although I could really do without it.

I spent my working life in very demanding situations.

For example at one time I Contract Managed 30 gangs of roof tilers in the 70s in a geographical area from Oxford in the West and Bedford in the East and from Northampton to North London.

I took it all in my stride - never a known palapatation.

Now I only have to have a difficult phone call and I start to have all those bad feelings again.

I am always telling others on here to avoid stressful situations and anxiety but I know only too well how really difficult this can be.

Pete

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Wow that is a problem. Ive gotten braver with age. There’s something about being in my 60’s that told me not to worry about what most people think... until getting hollered at🤣

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It was only a problem when my heart started playing up (at age 62). Touch wood, I’m back to normal now my heart has been fixed.

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That’s good to hear.

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I feel for you Hoski as I was also shouted at yesterday.

I'd asked for a repeat prescription from our surgery online on Monday, our doctors then send them electronically to the pharmacy. Well, I was in town and as passing by thought I'd see if it was ready for collection, rather than them have to deliver it to my house. I said I was just passing and wondered if by chance it could be ready, really all I needed was a smile and a no, not yet. A woman in the pharmacy flew out and said aggressively it takes 7-10 days to process a prescription! No, says I sweetly, I usually get them within two days. Look on your doctor's website she snarled it's 7-10 days, I walked out, wondering whether to get my prescriptions sent to a different pharmacy. I have to say this woman is a new pharmacist, replacing the lovely gentle one who has retired.

This episode didn't have any effect on my heart at all, but what a rude woman that pharmacist was!

Why can't people keep calm.

Jean

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I admire your strength Jean. I agree, I wish all could play well together. The ironic thing was the last thing I said to her daughter before all this happened was: people are basically all the same, everyone wants love and acceptance. When people act out, there is a reason, maybe a bad childhood, etc. Think of an abused aggressive dog, that’s how some people are. Little did I know her own mother would demonstrate my point. I probably am not done with the mom as her kid comes over here weekly and likes to visit our horses, so I may need to put on my big girl pants and get a grip on my emotions

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It's not easy is it and quite unnecessary for people to be so aggressive. Yes, all everyone wants is love and acceptance.

Would you believe my meds were delivered this morning just after 11am, on the label it says that it was dispensed yesterday at 12.55. I went into the pharmacy around 2.30pm, so it must have been ready when I went in and asked. Now do I just let it go, or say something?

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I would say something, people need to know there are consequences for bad behavior

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Gday mate

Sorry to hear your day was filled with that sort of ugliness. Seems to be commonplace unfortunately.

It is crazy how reactive our bodies are. Stress and anxiety send my ticker into a frenzied dance thats not too enjoyable.

Deep breathes and sea air and a cup of tea would be my suggestion and possibly a suggestion for that lady on the other end of your phone conversation.

👍

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Oh you are so right!!! A trip to the ocean would fix me right up, I live in the middle of the US, but am a huge fan of ocean waves, and everything majestic about it

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I have discovered how our hearts are connected to our emotions, and how they react even when our brain knows perfectly well the sudden noise was just a bird etc. Your brain knew you were dealing with someone to be ignored but your heart thought differently. if it didn't affect us all so badly it would be fascinating!

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Yes if only there was an emergency off button, lol.

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please someone invent one! But the responses to your post shows how many of us suffer in this way. x

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Yes, we all seem to have so much in common

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It’s amazing the immediate and visceral affect other people’s shit has on us. I find it is the exact same feeling as though someone punched me in the solar plexus - only had it happen once - but boy it hurt.

You are right to have nothing else to do with that person, there are so many people out there who are not able to contain their emotions and feel the need to make sure everyone else feels bad also.

It may take 24-48 hours to truly recover so please be very, very kind to yourself and nurture yourself.

Best wishes CD

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Thankyou so much! I am going to have lunch with 4 grandaughters today, ages 10-13... that should fix me right up💜

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I found this post interesting. I can also feel the impact of my changing emotions. If I watch hard hitting and sad news items I can feel the effects, this does seem to have created a change in how I mange sad and stressful information.

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Im amazed at the massive response here as I was hesitant to even post it. I never thought too much about the threat stress posed as Im retired, life is calm then boom. We all have the same enemy.

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I can't bear to watch anything on t.v. these days that involves violence or great sadness. Those types of programmes can stop me sleeping well at night too. Going a bit soft in my old age.

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Me too💜

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I discovered this lady recently and what she says strikes such a chord with me. I tick every box for being an empath and I bet many of you will too. One of the main criteria is physically feeling other people’s emotions - it’s why I had to give up my psychotherapy practice as it all got too much when I started with AF. drjudithorloff.com/

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Yes Ive often wondered if I was an empath. I received many accolades in my nursing career. Looking back, I think it was because I cared so much( maybe too much) about people. It took a big hunk out of my life that I didnt realize at the time. Now I surround myself with my family, dogs and horses as much as I can.

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Sorry that happened to you. It is the same for me and I try to avoid certain people and situations.

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I do too, it isnt worth the upset.

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Yes I recognise many of those traits. Thanks for the link. I have had to work out over the years how to protect myself from too much involvement in the dilemmas of others, and now living with AF is quite a motivator.

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Very true, in many ways a fib has taught me to be my own advocate!

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I was a nurse too for many years, wonder if something in us is drawn to resolve things for others. I now work hard at not being too empathetic, although goes against the grain a little.

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Yes I think so. My husband tries to coach me on not allowing people to take advantage of my kindness. For the first 40 years of marriage I thought he was wrong... now on year 41, my light bulb is starting to flicker in agreement, lol. Im like you, it doesnt feel right or normal but I need to learn this lesson.

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Hi Hoski :-) I hope you are feeling better now.

I have found I can no longer tollerate arguments and confrontation, I feel my heart 'leap' then I go into P-AF, this has happened to me a few times now. My guess is this happens as a result of adrenaline being released part of the fight/flight response and for some reason my body can't cope with it, perhaps I have had too much of it in my life.

Now at the first sign of trouble I turn on heels and start controlled breathing .

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Great advice! I am feeling better today, had a good sleep. Thankyou!

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Horrible how a/fib gets us wonderful you were able to calm down xx

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Thankyou!

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God bless you too Hoski I can relate only too well to your experience, stay strong xx

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Thankyou!

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I’m exactly like this. I find it annoying, because there are occasions in day to day life when I would like to “speak up for myself”. But, because I know there’s a chance my heart won’t like it, I let it go. Not good for ones morale.

Very best wishes to you ☘️

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Yes, I told my hubby that my old self would have had the last word here but my new self said its not worth it.

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It's been 2 days and I've only just seen this.

Confrontation STILL makes me feel like that now, and I consider myself "stable"

I had the unpleasant task of sorting out some debt my ex wife left me with a few weeks ago, and just thinking about it/arranging sorting it out, feeling anxious about dealing with it was enough to make me shake and get the impending feeling of dread/elevated HR associated with anxiety/stress.

Thankfully it settled pretty fast.

In 2005/6 I think it was I actually had an isolated incident of AF, where my then 10 yr old step son became violent and verbally abusive and lashed out to try and kick me in the head when he was in the process of being grounded..... I ended up in CCU back then but it was attributed to the confrontation and an isolated incident. Obviously it took another 7 years or so for AF to be properly prevalent in my life - but ever since then I've struggled with argument/confrontation situations and my HR.

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It sounds like we all struggle with the insensitivitie and meaness of others. Its been a few days, so my ticker is behaving and Im happy about that. It is comforting to know we all feel it, its not a gender or age issue. I think Im a nicer person because of these things and knowing how words can cut like a knife. Thanks for your thoughts! Strength in numbers🌟

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