Work - crisis of confidence

[Kaz747]

I had an appointment with my GP today and told her that I feel like I’ve now got Paroxysmal Sinus Rhythm (and I know that’s not a real diagnosis) as I seem to be spending more time in AF than in NSR over the last few weeks. It’s 11 days until my next ablation and I’m so hopeful that this will finally bring some relief. She’s written a medical certificate booking me off work until 1 June but we’ll catch up before then and see if I’m okay to do some part time work or work from home. My last day at work was 18 June last year. And I only started with the company last February (one of the owners is someone I worked for previously so they have been very supportive).

I have already agreed with the Managing Director (who is based on the east coast) that I won’t go back into my previous role where I was the most senior person in our State as I know 60 hour weeks, commuting and the associated stress of leadership won’t do me any good so we need to redefine my role. I don’t know what that will look like, how many hours per week I’ll work or what the pay will be. I also know I may struggle with sitting in the passenger seat rather than the driver’s seat as I always give work 150%. My roles over the years have entailed many breakfast and evening events and travel and with what I’ve been through over the past year, even if my AF goes away, trying to maintain that pace will no doubt put me back in AF sooner rather than later.

My GP was saying, if this ablation fails and drugs can’t control my AF I may have to look at finding a low key position where I can go to work, do my job and go home (obviously at a lot lower salary level). And if that’s what it comes to, so be it. At 54 I’m too young to retire as any pension is years away. I’m still hoping for a lottery win or a letter from a solicitor saying my long lost uncle in Scotland (who I don’t know about) has died and left me his estate 😃😂

I know a lot of people on this forum are retired. I know some people have PAF with infrequent episodes and they carry on with their work and lives with occasional blips. And of course there are those of you who are working but struggling physically and emotionally.

I’d be happy to hear from anyone with symptomatic AF who manages to work quite well and how get some insights into how you cope.

Thanks

Karen

[Hidden]

I work full time. I found it very tiring in the beginning when my heart was in AF always. I know I did less work!

Since my Cardioversion I have felt so much better and stepped things up at work.

I’m off again now, had my Gastric Bypass surgery yesterday....

my employers have been really really understanding but I do worry. I can’t afford to give up working.

I’m still in NSR after surgery so feel lucky for that.

I had 4 days off with cardioversion and I had 5 days off when first diagnosed with AF last year.

From Karen to Karen ! My name too.

[Kaz747 in reply to Hidden]

Great name! Thanks Karen. I worked for a year or two after being diagnosed with SVT so I know what you mean about being tired and working. I was going to have a few days off after my cardioversion but then developed shingles and postherpetic neuralgia so had a month off. I feel like someone has a Voodoo doll of me and is sticking pins into it. Up until I injured my ankle and had reconstruction surgery I was in great health. It’s been a quick downhill slide.

I hope all goes well post surgery for you and that you’re feeling good and thin and in sinus rhythm xx

[Hidden in reply to Kaz747]

Thank you ❤️. but what about you? What do you think you’re gonna do work wise?

[Hidden in reply to Kaz747]

Oh and what is SVT?

[Kaz747 in reply to Hidden]

SVT is Supra Ventricular Tachycardia- racing heart but in rhythm. Mine was generally 120 - 170bpm. I was diagnosed with Multifocal Atrial Tachycardia meaning there were different focal points in the heart and depending on which one was triggered, depended on how fast it went.

I won’t make any decisions about work until after my ablation next week.

[Lorlaw70 in reply to Kaz747]

Hi Kaz747,

My journey is very similar to yours. Since I feel off the ladder and shattered my arm and had to get reconstruction surgery I had very good health. I have a very stressful job in managing a mental health charity and I have not worked properly for over a year now. I have had one thing after another. I had my ablation in January then the following day developed pnenioma. Whilst doing the ablation the ep froze the nerve going into my diaphragm so my breathing is not great but it is steadily improving.

Unfortunately for me my employers are horrendous and I am in the process of going through a huge grievance process with them. They have no understanding of HR and are therefore breaking alot of employment law.

I think I will be making alot of changes to my career as I am 48 and no where near retirement age, i dream of winning the lottery to lol.

I hope your ablation goes well and you get better really soon.

Laura

[Kaz747 in reply to Lorlaw70]

Hi Laura - yep certainly a lot of similarities. I injured my ankle at my last job where I worked for 7 years. I was disappointed when my contract wasn’t renewed. They said it was restructures and budget issues. I believe having months off for surgery and rehab and then developing a heart problem didn’t help but of course I couldn’t prove anything.

I hope all goes well for you with your health and job.

[jedimasterlincoln]

Following this also.

I've just looked back on previous posts and realised how ill being in PAF makes me feel and what I didn't write was obvious - how I felt between times. Almost an undertone that I was "waiting to be ill"

I'm almost at that crossroads where I am wondering if it's all worth it. The trouble is I don't know WHAT I'd want to do which was just "turn up work and go home"

[Kaz747 in reply to jedimasterlincoln]

I have followed your struggles closely Jedi so I know how tough you’ve had it. I couldn’t imagine dealing with this with young kids.

I know what you mean about the WHAT. And when you love your job, it’s very hard to think about something else that will give you satisfaction.

When my eldest daughter who has had a lot of health challenges was in pre-primary I gave up a management job as she was under 11 specialists and therapists and I couldn’t cope with work and the dealing with all the appointments. I focussed on her for a while and then, when I was going insane with boredom when the kids were at school, I started a 2 day per week customer service job close to home. That was fine but I’d see the exciting things going on in the marketing and management teams and be frustrated that I was a ‘pleb’ at the bottom of the food chain 😉

[Aus19]

Good topic for discussion, Kaz747. I had a stroke last year and my annual contract of employment wasn’t renewed. So since February I have returned to my former university faculty doing some (unpaid) research. Crikey it’s hard even getting to campus some days! The commute and the hike around a very large university are killers. When I’m in AF, my concentration plummets. There is no way that I could work full time at the moment. My dyspnea is incapacitating even though I don’t do manual labour, don’t see clients or members of the public, and don’t slave away for long hours. I don’t know how other people can work full time with this condition! They are tougher than I am!

[Kaz747 in reply to Aus19]

Thanks for your response. I sometimes, when I’m having a few good hours (I haven’t had a few good days for a while) almost feel as though it’s all in my imagination and there’s nothing wrong with me. I’m sure many people think that too when they look at me.

I’ve been doing a bit of unpaid stuff too - judging business awards, mentoring and advising staff and other contacts and writing. I’m always happy to give and support people - I’ve never been very good at saying no 😃

[BobD Volunteer]

Karen I fully understand your points. I got out of banking at age 52 rather than go insane or have a nervous breakdown and never looked back. OK I was able to take my (reduced) pension but health was more important than money. It was worrying as I had two young boys and a wife to support but interestingly the equation worked quite well .

I took a package which cleared my mortgage and after working out the gross value of things like clothing. travel etc I was £3000 a year worse off not getting out of bed. No brainer!"

[Kaz747 in reply to BobD]

It may well come to that in the end Bob but without the package and pension (I can’t get a pension until 67). It’s been the perfect storm- me with my health. I get a little income protection insurance but not the full amount of my policy as I hadn’t been in my new job for 6 months and I had more time off than planned between jobs as my mum had a fall and ended up in hospital for 3 months so I was looking after her. My husband’s a contractor and he’s chasing work for the first time in 20 years - the economy is very tight (and he has his own health issues to deal with).

I love being in the business world so I don’t really want to give it all away just yet but health is more important than wealth 😃 Que sera sera!

[djbgatekeeper]

Fingers crossed for the next ablation 👌

[Kaz747 in reply to djbgatekeeper]

🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

[wilsond]

Lets hope the ablation works for you. Its difficult balancing work and a condition like AF and AFl. I had regular time off because of it,my job was a Family Learning tutor,with a large geographical area of my own,targets to reach in terms of parents skills upgrades etc,lots of travelling about,lugging equipment etc.

At the same time trying to look after 4 elderly poorly parents,and husband working 5 x 12 hour shifts a week,in the end my employer and I went down the HR route of trying to accommodate me with part time hours.However the part time hours still entailed a full time workload!

Essentially,I think that although I was upset and worried when eventually I was granted ill health retirement,as my income is about a third of what it was and I miss the buzz of acheiving resu!ts and my colleagues,I have now become much more appreciative of the slower pace. In other words,it may be a whole new world of work for you,that works for you even though you are anxious about the down_rolling as a possibility.

I wish you,and our friend Jedi , all the best xxx

[Kaz747 in reply to wilsond]

Thank you. Life can certainly change quite quickly. I’m know I’m far better off than many others - I haven’t had a stroke, I don’t have cancer and I haven’t had a debilitating accident. It’s frustrating though as I don’t want to have to live a quiet life just yet. I want to keep travelling and I want to go back to ballroom dancing and play tennis. Hopefully I will.

[Aus19]

Just now returning to this thread (it was nighty-night time here in eastern Australia) but wanted to thank jedimasterlincoln for raising a very important point. That’s exactly how I feel - you just wait to be sick, you wait for the next episode! Even in sinus rhythm, it’s in the back of your mind: when will my next episode start? And that in itself can be debilitating. It means you say no to things: no, I can’t do that tomorrow, I might be in AF that day! I guess that’s what it means to have heart disease. You have it all the time, even when your heart beats normally. That interesting American cardiologist Dr John Mandrola raises the possibility that AF is itself a symptom of an underlying atrial disease that medical science doesn’t yet understand (in the way that a fever is a symptom of an infection). So you have your disease every hour of every day, even if you don’t feel sick. Some economist should sit down and work out the cost to our economy of heart disease in the younger strata of the population. (Then maybe the government could give us a big bucket of money so we wouldn’t have to worry about winning the lotto or pools? Just a thought.)