This post was on the forum for anxiety and was not written by me, I have read the post and thought it was excellent and may help some folk on this forum as Anxiety and AF go hand in hand sometimes... Grab a cuppa and have a read:
There really is no cure for anxiety so please stop looking for it. There is no cure for anxiety because it isn’t a disease. If this makes you feel anxious then this is as good a time as any to start on your journey to recovery. Let me explain.
Anxiety is part of our human nature. If it wasn’t for anxiety, the human race would have become extinct along time ago. It is the ultimate self-protection system ever built.
It heightens your senses in such a way that it prepares you to fight whatever is threatening you or to flee the scene as quickly as possible. It’s an automatic response measured in nano seconds. You just react without thinking, like jumping out the way of an oncoming car.
All of the symptoms people describe are nothing more than the result of the adrenalin that the human body produces because it thinks it is in danger. It thinks it is in danger because you are telling it is. It is acting just the way it is supposed to act.
If you are healthy, why do you suffer? You suffer because you don’t see the immediate threat (there isn’t one) so you set off in search of the threat and invent one (or more) in your mind. Hey presto! Fears are created out of thin air. Whether its your physical symptoms, your thoughts or some seemingly unsolvable problem. In an anxious state, the brain is a master at creating false fears that are causing your anxiety. It stands to reason. If you have anxiety, you think anxious thoughts. Your brain keeps doing this because you hate or have an intense dislike to the way you are thinking and/or feeling. You hate it so much, you want to stop feeling it now and take action to try to stop yourself feeling that way. You hate it because it scares you which is ironic because anxiety is designed to scare you! That’s its job and it’s very good at protecting us from danger. That’s why we humans are still kicking about on this planet. It’s just got a little trigger happy, that’s all. It’s been overused to the extent that the smallest thing or sensation can now set it off. All self inflicted, albeit unwittingly. You’ve been conned into it.
The truth is that you have become scared of yourself. There is nothing else. You have become scared of the effects of adrenaline. You have become scared of the very thing that is trying to protect you. You fear the feelings of fear which.......produces more adrenalin, more fear, and so the cycle goes on and on.
What is it protecting you from? Who knows? More importantly, who cares? Human emotions are not an exact science. Everyone has different trigger points. We are all scared of different things and the brain is designed to protect and keep you safe from those perceived threats. We all have certain fears. Many people are scared of rats, creepy crawlies etc. Can you remember the last time you felt fearful because you thought you saw a rat or a spider scurrying along when in fact, it was just a leaf being blown by the wind. The feelings of fear melt away and you stop thinking about it. Now imagine seeing that rat or spider all the time. This is what is happening to you. You have become afraid of your own fear and as it is something you carry with you all of the time. There is no way you can escape it, unless you overcome your fear of rats/spiders which is entirely possible.
The automatic reaction is to fight back or run away or freeze in fear (playing dead if you perceive the threat to be bigger and faster than you). Keeping with the rat analogy, you will probably run a mile and avoid going back. If you take this course of action, you will never overcome your fear. Those who constantly seek advice or reassurance about their anxiety symptoms are attempting to do something to stop themselves from feeling it. They are trying to avoid it, trying to run away from it.
When I read some of the posts on here, I want to shout at you to stop doing it, stop running away from it and to leave it alone! You have taught yourself to be afraid of your own shadow and has become habit. It is as simple as that. Believe me. I am not judging or criticising anyone for doing it because I did the very same things for a long time until I learnt how to cope with the symptoms the right way.
What is the right way? The right way to recover from anxiety or any other fear based disorder is to “do” nothing. Zero. Zilch.
Going back to the rat (they get a lot of bad press), the moment you realised that it was just a leaf, your fear subsided but you had to go towards the source of that fear to see that it is just a leaf. You can’t do that if you are running in the opposite direction or covering your eyes in fear.
It is more difficult to understand how to move towards an emotion than it is to move towards a physical object that scares you which is where acceptance comes in. Acceptance doesn’t mean not to be afraid, not to feel anxious. On the contrary, without feeling anxiety you couldn’t possibly ever accept. The anxiety has to be there so the brain can learn to switch it off. Acceptance means being with your anxiety without being totally consumed by it. It’s about being comfortable about feeling very uncomfortable, creating a space between you and those thoughts and feelings, observing them with curiosity instead of fear, not fighting or resisting them or doing something about it. Acceptance means nothing more than surrendering to it all and waving that white flag. Nothing will happen to you. By not doing anything about it, you will begin to understand that those feelings and thoughts can’t harm you. The more you allow yourself to feel anxious and not do anything about it, the more you will understand that there is nothing to fear. The less fearful you become, the easier it is to accept those thoughts and feelings and to leave them alone. You may even see glimpses of your old self when you just don’t have those thoughts and feelings. This is further proof that the symptoms you fear are created by anxiety and not reality.
Knowledge and understanding is the key to recovery. The passage of time takes care of the rest but you have to go through this process to see that there was never anything to fear in the first place. It’s a process with no quick wins or short cuts. You can’t cheat either. Your brain only learns that there is no danger when you are in the midst of the anxiety storm and not doing anything about it. It literally is a journey of self discovery. Discovering your old, but much wiser, self having trodden that path to recovery.
I spent quite some time fearing all kinds of things before the penny slowly dropped. That everything I feared was nothing more than me just fighting with myself, chasing my own tail. Worrying about stuff that was just a figment of an over anxious mind and not based in reality. I wasted so much time and energy creating this battle in my mind, a battle with myself and one that I could never win. Give up that fight.
In hindsight, this battle was the best thing that ever happened to me. Don’t get me wrong, it is a terrible and awful experience but without it, I would not feel as strong, confident and humble as I feel today. How else can anyone become stronger if they have not felt weakness? What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. It’s bloomin’ true as well.
So, my advice is to stop doing anything to stop yourself feeling anxious. Stop trying to stop your thoughts coming. Stop trying to question ‘your setback’. Stop trying to figure out why you are feeling dizzy or disconnected to the outside world. Stop trying to avoid thoughts and feelings, situations or going places. Stop trying to run away, physically or mentally. Let yourself think and feel EVERYTHING and don’t shy away from any of it. This will allow your mind and body the time and space it needs to heal naturally because you are no longer adding fuel to the fire which will eventually die out by itself. You don’t have to “do” anything. The mind and body just fixes itself if you just let yourself go with the flow.
I only know too well how an anxious mind plays tricks by conjuring up all those fearful thoughts. They come uninvited and you are powerless to stop them so please don’t waste time and energy trying because that just makes it worse. As I have said in previous posts, it is the “trying” to do something about anxiety that keeps people stuck in the vicious cycle. Stop doing things about your anxiety and start doing things in your life instead. Make your life bigger than anxiety. Live your life as if you don’t have anxiety. Take your anxiety with you. Do normal stuff regardless of how you are feeling. Don’t put things off until you are feeling better. If my anxiety tried to stop me doing things, I did it anyway. It was tough but not impossible. I gradually learnt that the “messages” were just a symptom of anxiety and false. A by product. They didn’t define me. They were false but made the mistake in thinking they were true and then worrying/fearing even more, keeping that anxiety cycle spinning around. At first, I was probably faking acceptance until I made it but having read a couple of books about the subject I took a leap of faith and slowly learned to let go and not react by adding more fear. As time passed, I gradually lost my fear of the fearful thoughts and feelings, my interest in “it” waned and I gradually got my life back. All because I stopped trying to do anything about it.
What do you have to lose?
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