Writing my recent post about sorting out the decision to have a 3rd ablation and getting all of your wonderful responses has been so helpful for me. Thank you again, everyone!
I was able to sort through what had gotten stirred up from the various things I've learned in my brief time here, plus the bumps from switching up meds. Then I set about making a plan for next steps and communicating with my docs, which has gone well.
Today I met with my EP. This was my 9-month check up after my 2nd ablation and I wanted to get his opinion about having a 3rd ablation.
Well, I was surprised to learn that he doesn't think it's really worth it to have a 3rd ablation. There were just a few spots to touch up in the 2nd one and he got them. At this point, he doesn't think the risk/benefit ratio makes it compelling for me to have it. Which is actually a relief.
He encourages me to try Flec 50 mg twice a day and see how that works. Then we'll meet in Dec. and revisit the issue. So I'll give it a try.
I was grateful to have had the opportunity to vent a bit here at the forum and be understood and supported before this appointment. A godsend, really. This allowed me to be cool, calm, collected and sincerely happy to see him. He really is a very nice man. I was also able to remember all my questions and not crumble from nerves or vulnerability, as I have at times in the past. And I stayed in NSR. Yay.
The nurse was happy to take the info about this forum to share with new patients, so that made me happy, too.
The other surprise today was my acupuncture appointment first thing this morning. I'd been feeling anxious about some underlying issues that I felt I needed to address.
This doc has been a very nice man, typically very kind. He has always been supportive and has encouraged me to reach out via email if I'm having a bad episode or other struggles. I've done my best to be respectful of his time. I recently gave him a watercolor painting I made for him in thanks for all of his wonderful support.
In recent weeks, he's been dropping indirect comments about being sick and tired of dealing with my insurance and not making enough money off of it, wanting to end the contract with the company, not doing it yet, but maybe in the future and yes, that means that you (me) won't be able to afford seeing me. And that he's chosen not to see me as often.
This came on the heels of being told an ablation would kill me and that I should rely on Chinese med and not the Western meds. All of which has been rather anxiety-inducing, along with his last treatment, which agitated my heart and triggered an episode. This former oasis of peace and serenity had become a source of stress.
I asked him about it all, explaining that I felt anxious hearing all of these administrative details (which is quite inappropriate to tell me in the first place!!). Did he simply not want to treat me any more for some reason? The indirectness had become very frustrating.
The outcome was both a relief and dreadful. I was told that I have taken up *a lot* of his time and energy, that it's hard for him to answer my emails, that he felt I was criticizing him, didn't appreciate him, and then he became angry and refused to treat me. When he'd never actually just simply set some limits along the way. I wonder what I was supposed to do? Read his mind, perhaps?
At the end of the day, I feel more respect and appreciation for my EP. Yes, EPs are super specialized and can be dismissive. But, boy, do I appreciate that he's honest and direct with me. I prefer that to being treated with niceness that has had underlying resentment. That's not much fun to deal with and certainly not good for my heart. I felt relieved after the conversation because I realized I'd felt something was just not quite right for a while. I'm glad I got to the bottom of it, as unpleasant and disappointing as it was to deal with.
So I'll focus now on trying Flec daily and see what other lifestyle changes I can make.
Thanks again, everyone, for your support.