AF Association
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Everything is all too much

I have had a tough time lately. I've finally grout to a full stop both physically and mentally.

On top of working part time I'm pretty much full time caring for mum (87) and daughter who is disabled (16).

Added to that recently is the fact I was a victim of the TSB Fraud issue... My health has plummeted. The stress has been horrendous. Not sleeping hardly as my mind worked overtime. There were a number of curveballs thrown in for good measure, mum had surgery, daughters health took a bit of a nose dive.

I have felt like I've waded through quick setti ng cement . The bank issue has finally been resolved last week thanks to the financial ombudsman but the crying to sleep is still on going. I have alarms set for everything including my meds but still forgetting everything. Mum has short term memory and feel like I'm the same (or worse) I know all this stress is impacting on all of this. I feel so isolated, friends have moved on as I have no life outside of this treadmill. I'm physically grinding to a stop my 2.5hr shifts now take an extra hour to complete (contract cleaner) but don't get paid any more. I'm on apixaban 5mg twice a day and bisoprolol 1.25mg daily in a morning. I had one episode of af almost 12months ago, I've always had ectopic beats since about 18yr old. I have runs of flutters, though this has been more evident since the bank issue.

I don't know why I feel the way I do but hate that I was able to fix everyone's problems and now can't function to even do housework and remember blooming appointments. I used to be the person that everyone came to for help. No no one bothers I have a plethora of support workers but meetings with them just seem to point out my failings in everything.

I have only seen the consultant once in the 12months since I gained this extra health issue to my osteoarthritis, anxiety/ocd, ehlers-danlos syndrome along with multiple allergies and gastric issues that go hand in hand with EDS.

I've just turned 60 with no celebrations as I worked that day to earn something to live on while the bank were doing nothing to get my money back.

Today looking back on my life is something that depresses me looking forward scares me as I'm just not coping.

I've had no follow ups, no monitoring, is this normal of have I fallen through some cracks am I supposed to be seeing anyone? Gp? nurse?

Sorry this is long winded but I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing

☹️

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Oh, so sorry to hear all of this but glad you have shared as I hope we can uplift you. I will just say that usually difficult days don't continue without a turning point and suddenly something takes you forward, not further down.

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Thank you rellim. I kind of feel guilty offloading. I'm just feeling sorry for myself and exhausted with the not so merry go round that I am stuck on. I'm not going to hold my breath for anything to change any time soon as this is four yrs of daily issues of one thing or another. I can't shake the feeling of dread and entrapment in my life. Doing it all on my own and going through a divorce which I should of started 5yrs ago

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Oh, please don't feel guilty offloading. I think that's one of the strengths of the forum - we are here for support without being part of anyone's daily life and members can rant or pour their hearts out when they need. Sometimes just putting it all down can be helpful.

But I hope you may find some suggestions enable you to find the fortitude to step out and start to make progress again.

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Thank you.

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Hi Daisy,

You have had a lot on your plate and I feel impotent to offer suggestions but this. Do not look back too much, think of now. Perhaps sit down and write all ‘to doos’ on a paper, then prioritise, possibly cross off (I do that). Life can be overwhelming at time, but trust. You can change it.

Perhaps you can use some of the resources you have (to help with your mum, and daughter).

By the way, which country do you live in ?

Best wishes

J (-:

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Thank you Im in the uk. This last few months have been the worse but this has been a continued and downhill battle for the last 4yrs. When I do mange to sleep I'm now getting to a point that I'm disappointed that I have woken. I wish so much that I had time for myself. I used to manage very well as the *go to* person whether friends family or neighbours. I just feel I have nothing left and the exhaustion since this afib is the pits

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You have this forum as Your Go To. Do something nice for You today. Hugs.

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Hi Daisy

It's really hard to have pulled out the AF issue from your post. That isn't meant as a jibe, but I just couldn't see past everything you have to deal with, it's almost as if your AF is a background issue. I genuinely feel for you and all the plates you have spinning.

At your last appointment did they give any indication of follow up? Normally things are an open appointment, or a 6/12 month review. IF you're concerned about deterioration in symptoms you can try to expedite things through your GP.

However, maybe a visit to the GP wouldn't be such a bad idea anyway. With the absolute greatest of respect you appear to be struggling, and something is going to give. It needs to not be your health - despite the fact you feel your mental state and memory is floundering already (and it's no wonder!!)

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Thank you. I guess my post shows how evident it is that I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed with what is my life over the last few years. Memory is shot but I think that is probably the juggling of all the difficulties on going. My gp, over the phone has reduced bisoprolol form 5mg to 2.5then 1.25 mg. My resting hr is 51. I keep thinking that it may be too low. My only visit to the consultant was brief as my notes were incomplete and he dictated that he needs my complete notes for my next appt which hasn't arrived and may need to chase this up.he did want to stop the bisoprolol and I panicked because of the missing notes and refused. If I remember and or have the time. I will make an afford to see my gp. I go often but usually its for my daughter or mum. I know I need time for me but it's finding that time and the energy

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See Jeanjeannie's post re pills! If I were you (not medically trained but good training as interfering mother) I would drop the Bisoprolol. What is it doing for you except keeping your HR far too low (according to my cardiologist he doesn't want it below 60)?

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Agree with this x

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I think this was one of my thoughts. The fact my medical history was missing and even my admission and discharge note were not on the computer scared me, I didn't want to drop meds without the doctor having full information in front of him.

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Ooh I didn't know that... My resting HR is around 56 and my doctor always says happily that if my AF gets more frequent my Bisoprolol can be upped from the current 6.5 to 10 if need be. My BP is in my boots too! Daisy, fwiw, I really don't get a lot of checkups. I think everyone should, but it seems very much to depend on your doctor. However, if you don't get a lot of AF - I don't - it would be up to you to decide whether to press for it. So sorry to hear about all your travails. It's rotten to have all that stress on top of the AF! Stress is what sets mine off, so in reality I think you're coping amazingly well with a really horrible set of circumstances. Sending hugs - I hope you get the chance to relax and decompress a bit, it sounds like you thoroughly deserve it.

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Thank you I am going to get to grips this week and going to try and have a less stressful weekend though last night had a bit of dram with my daughter which had my stress level up on the ceiling. So I have my fingers crossed this morning

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Well Diamonddaisy, never let it be said that we don’t rise to a challenge! To say your cup runneth over would be an understatement. Let’s try and break the issues down into bite sized chunks. On the basis that if you felt well and confident, you are then more able to deal with your other problems, I think we should start with your AF. From what you have said, your AF burden sounds relatively low. You are on the minimum dose of bisoprolol and well protected against the risk of stroke which is good. If you feel you need to do more at the moment, then ask your GP for a referral, but rightly or wrongly, most people are in your position whilst their AF is under control. Unfortunately we are unable to comment on your other health issues for reasons I’m sure you will understand, but it might be worth asking your surgery if you can see your GP to review all your health conditions.

I would have thought that caring for your daughter has to be a priority. Obviously, with care issues regarding your mother this will be difficult but are social services involved in helping to provide care for your mum. You mention that you have a team of support workers involved so maybe you need to find ways in which you can work with them to help overcome your present difficulties.

The financial problems were clearly a major issue but that now seems to be satisfactorily resolved so they should be forgotten as dwelling on the past can make moving forward more difficult.

Everyone reading your post Diamonddaisy will feel the anguish but unfortunately there are limits to what we can do in this forum but hopefully, knowing that you are not alone might help a little bit. Talk to your doctor and your mums doctor and see if there is a way to ease your burden, I hope this has helped a bit......

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Mum is very stubborn and makes everything so much harder for herself and me. I love her very much, she is stuck in her ways and I understand that but she thinks she can still do what she's always done eg fell after a full day gardening last year, broke elbow, refused intervention and has now had total elbow replacement. I would so much prefer her to stay at home I've worked in care homes, they are not the best, her stubborn ways would make things pretty difficult for everyone.

My gp is aware of my situation but isn't very helpful and am considering moving to another practice .

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I understand, it is very hard particularly for someone like you, who really cares......I wish you well.

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I echo all the sentiments here. You’re having an awful time and need some support. I can understand that moving GP surgery is something that needs some thought, but how about trying a different GP in the practice?

Several suggestions have been made here and I sincerely hope you can find some that work for you.

Best wishes,

Ian

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Thank you Ian. The lack of support for my kids has been lacking. I know there is no cure, just managing the condition (son has sensory and undiagnosed same condition as daughter and dyspraxia signs also undiagnosed) help for both of them were dismissed by same gp who used to be incredibly supportive and understood my struggles but was uncaring and dismissive so feel very let down right now I am also out of the range for home visits since my house move after my marriage broke down and have been feeling, as daughters health and mine get worse that this may eventually be needed. It is difficult to get to due to loosing the car till I get a replacement

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If you aren’t able to get to your old surgery without considerable difficulty then you must find another locally. Use the NHS Choices website to compare local surgeries:

nhs.uk/Service-Search/GP/Lo...

I hope you get some help soon.

Best wishes and take care.

Ian

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Thank you. There are 2 very close in the village I live in. I chose to stay with my old one because they knew us and were supportive. I'm looking at both here to make the best choice and asking neighbours etc which they are with and why before changing

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Hi Daisy, what puzzles me is why you are working at all? You are a carer twice over, you are affected by several serious physical problems and I should have thought not physically or mentally fit enough to work. However I realise that under the present social regime you may still be deemed fit 😡

If you feel your problems are mainly practical I should visit the CAB for help. My daughter works in one and I know she has deal with many complex situations in the past. If the main issue is that you feel overwhelmed by all your difficulties and responsibilities then a visit to your GP with a view to getting mental health support is the way to go. Also I wonder if there is any possibility of you having a regular respite period, particularly in some kind of social group as your 'friends' have deserted you. My personal suggestion would be a church but I appreciate that is not for many people!

I wish you all the best in coming through your dark tunnel 💜

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Thank you. Your reply is very thoughtful. Being a contract cleaner means I work evenings and some during the day. It's somewhat flexible and only do 16hrs. That helps with tax credits. But the hours mean that between my daughter, mum and work hours, though I still get invites out, it just hasn't happened much over the last 4yrs, I'm probably going a bit stir crazy because this is I suppose all a bit mind numbing. I think a visit to cab is a great idea. I need to stop making excuses that I don't have time and make some time to sort this. Again. Thank you

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Time to tend to yourself. Be kind to yourself. If you were listening to a friend saying this - what might you say to them?

Offload as much as you want - feeling guilty is part of why you are feeling so bad - so not allowed to feel guilty here.

It’s OK to feel bad and sad and not well. They are all warning signs telling you to be kind to yourself - did I already say that - ok I’ll say it again - be kind and empathic to yourself - you’re doing OK - you’re doing the best you can and you are carrying a big burden but it’s ok to put that burden down and tend to yourself for a while, have a rest, listen to some music you like, go have a walk in nature - do anything that pleasures you - endorphins are the antidote to the stress hormones - you don’t have to do it for long 10 mins - 5 mins - 2 mins but do find time for you,

Much 💗 and kindness.

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Thank you. I'm probably much like mum and just keep going. I will definitely try and find a way to relax

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Hi I'm going to ask this and you may not like it but have you thought of asking if mum could have a few weeks respite in a home I work with dementia and we have many come in while families have a break or go away It's hard I know but you do need to think of yourself to and it may help relieve pressure for now You are allowed so many weeks in a year Also have you a social worker to help you with things

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Hi. I've thought about that often. She has a cat and this is why she refused surgery on her broken elbow which happened last July and only accepted that in April this year. She is stubborn to the point of cutting her nose off to spite her face. I have 2sisters who have walked away. A blessing in disguise as they were stealing from mum and my younger sister assaulted my disabled daughter causing a dislocated shoulder 2yra ago. Mum has disowned them and there was a lot of police involvement at the time. So there is only me caring and trying to keep her safe and well. I regularly raise this and have an all out flat Refusal. Even when she had free care support when she came out of hospital she refused help and they stopped visiting before the end of the allotted sessions I would love a break. But I can't see that happening. She also has chronic renal failure and left ventricular hypertrophy and pernicious anaemia and is reluctant to take medications

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I know the home where I work lets you bring a person in for lunch and to stay a few hours to see how they go Just the one day though You can ask for a weeks report with a view to extend Has she been allocated a social worker

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No. She's refusing and as she is mainly managing on her own they won't come out. She was even assessed and told she could have a stair lift because of a few calls and a wet room. She said an adaman t no

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Have you claimed as her career then You might not have to do your little job I know it may take away that little bit of time for you but it could help stress wise

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I'll look into this with cab. In my head I'm thinking I'll loose quite a bit financially with tax credits, the issue being that my older son has moved back home and his wage will affect and housing benefit entitlement. I've tried the on line calculator and it doesn't come out well and also battling with daughters disability, she's mainly in a wheelchair but couldn't use at school due to steps part way on the ground floor. She's just transitioned from dla to pip and gone from high rate mobility to zero because she used crutches on reduced timetable on one floor and only core exams. So lost disability car. All adding to the stress overload right now

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Daisy, I really feel for you. First let me give you a big hug (((( ))))). We care, as you can see by all the responses. I used to help run a nursing home and I agree totally with all that Vonnie has suggested.

It sounds like your mum is still living in her own home and coping ok, with you popping in to keep an eye on her too. Am I right in thinking that? Your daughter sounds as though she is able to be left on her own for a few hours while you work and is not mentally disabled. Is that right?

I do wonder if your daughter and your mother are not the total cause of how you are feeling. You mentioned going through a divorce too. Are you perhaps just feeling overwhelmed by everything, a divorce is a horrible thing to have to go through without having family dependent on you at the same time. There is light at the end of the tunnel, trust me. Like others have suggested I think it may be an idea to see your GP and ask for something to help you through this period. You need to have your sleep, so perhaps some tablets to help you with that.

If I should win millions over the next few weeks I'll solve all your problems for you I promise. Hope that has made you smile.

Jean

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Jeanjeanie. I did smile. Yes my mum has her own house and lives independently though since her fall 13 months ago she won't go out unless it's an appointment and refuses to try groups etc. My daughter has hypermobile ehlers-danlos which means she dislocates without even trying, even in her sleep, chronic pain and fatigue and vasovagal syncope so passes out without warning so we are constantly communicating via mobile phone. But she is sometimes on her own and mostly sleeps then. The divorce is actually OK all emotional feelings were put aside because of my daughter so it's just the practical side as he is agreed on it too. It is all the lack of 'me' time I think that is the issue, little sleep and on the go all day every day with caring for everyone and putting myself at the back of the queue. It seems that this is the issue and not looking out for me. I will most definitely get an appointment and write a list for gp to read as I'm bound to forget, lately when I wake up I'm struggling to even work out what day it is, then once I've figured it's the do I have things to do and can I fit them all in.

Thank you for your reply

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Hi again Daisy, I really feel for you as my mother was just the same, refused help she was entitled to although she did agree in the end to go to a respite day at the local hospital. I was much more hard hearted than you, refused to give up my part time job and gave up offering help as I wasn't well and had other family problems. I do feel guilty that I didn't try harder but an adult in their right mind is entitled to make their own decisions no matter how unwise and after all, if you were suffering from the effects of old age and illness would you not just want your own way in your last days? My mother's story didn't end well but no-one ever suggested she wasn't competent to make her choices. I do think the list of 'duties' is a good one to help get some sense of proportion. Last word, don't be like your mother, it's good you've accepted you're not coping as a first step, hope you find suitable help.

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Hi Diamond,

I do hope things get better. You have a lot to juggle .....and you are doing it!

Try not to look back or forward. If you stay in the present, you’ll be much less stressed. Change what you can and be done with would-of, could-of, should-of. Nothing in this world lasts forever even though it often appears to be so, thus the saying, “This too shall pass.” . And when this cloud of “everything-sucking-your-energy” passes, I wish you more sunny times.

☀️🌸

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Thank you

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Hey there Diamonddaisy

You sound like an amazing person going through a right old time of it at the mo, well you are in the right place to vent and receive a friendly word or two of comfort.

Stress is probably the biggest factor we all deal with daily with life in general and of course our wonky heart beats !! my random flutters sound exactly like yours and like you i have been there done it bought the t shirt. It's certainly not easy getting professional support when our symptoms are classed under the banner of stress ! or being classed as hypersensitive !. Just remember you are a valued person. you have a right to vent that in itself is healthy we would all go bang otherwise right ?

I too kinda feel like i have fallen through the cracks a bit recently had a cardiologist appt and he would not even do a basic scan, or xray or anything!.

I use an alive cor kardia mobile device and it showed low heart rate of 35bpm and a couple of episodes of a-fib but he just said there too infrequent to warrant him doing anything. thanks doctor it just felt like another step backwards!.

Anyway please keep venting and sounding off its healthy to get it out there and off you're chest we all do that here from time to time.

Sending you positive vibes and virtual hugs, happy belated 60th birthday x. wishing you all good things, take care

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i can't add to any of the good advice already given but wanted to wish you well, I hope things will improve for you in the near future, take care X

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Breathe and again...slowly and deeply. I'm sorry you are going through so much. Sounds like you crashed but you will be okay. It's important to sleep well. Ask MD if you can take 5 mg lithium oratate at bedtime. Can buy online as sold as vitamin. Do something nice for yourself today. Sending you a big hug.

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Thank you. I haven't heard of this and am adding to my notes to discus with my doctor. Sleep is an issue. My fit bit records and average of 5.5hrs. Some nights I am only get 3-4 hours sleep woken mostly with pain but then unable to fall back asleep as my mind kicks in with all of the worrying. Have been on gabapentin and oramoroph,morphine patches in the past and take codeine and paracetamol only now as I couldn't cope with side affects. Still in pain daily which, understandably gets me down as does knowing my daughter is going through the same daily and nothing she has been given helps and the only suggestion for her recently is amitryptiline and not helping.

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I do hope things get better for you. Lack of 'me time' can be so debilitating. If you feel your daughter's PIP claim was dealt with unfairly, then consider an appeal. They did the same to my sister, who had MS. She appealed and yesterday heard that it had been successful. This is happening a lot. CAB or Age Concern would be able to help you.

This isn't medical advice, but perhaps discuss your meds with your GP. Bisoprol made me feel so exhausted I found it hard to work. As my AF is Paroxysmal and infrequent, my cardiologist said he was happy for me to manage without them. I just take apixaban now and feel so much better.

I hope things get better for you. Even a short walk away from everyone can help clear the blues.

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Thanks for your reply. On my notes home last year it says P-af so I'm assuming that is mine. I have no idea what this means. When I came home, it was like a tea light candle had been changed to a spotlight and had so much energy and my brain fog had gone. This lasted for a couple of weeks and got so much done around the house etc. I hadn't realised how drained and unwell I'd felt before my episode that had my in a&e. I now can't recall exactly why bisoprolol was reduced but think I was on a call to gp or my of visited and I remember something about heart rate being in the low 40's and again similar to get reduced to 1.25mg and resting heart rate is now a constant 51 according to my fit bit. I will discus this when I see my doctor. Thank you

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Just wanted to say I'm so pleased you managed to "let it all hang out". As someone else has said, nothing stays the same and even if you can't see how, things can improve.

If you can gather the energy for just one thing, which among all this advice do YOU think would make the most difference? Is there a local carers group? ( I know this would be yet another thing in your already hectic life) but sometimes it only takes a little thing to change things for the better. A different GP might be the thing to move everything in a positive direction but I do appreciate getting up the energy to change things is a huge thing. Sending a big hug. Wendyb

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Hi bagrat. I think I took a step in the right direction yesterday and rang a help line number for talking changes. I am going to get a call back on Monday from someone. It has been suggested a few times by my carer support worker and the school nurse at the taf meetings for my kids. I've had counselling in the past for issues going back into my childhood so have resisted as I felt worse going into my past and felt more retched than before. Hopefully this time will be different, fingers crossed

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Fortunately there is a move these days to cncentrate on changing the "now" ( CBT, DBT and other stuff) .Trying to unpack old hurts when you are already low in mood never seems a good thing. That is a big step for you, doing that while feeling so fragile. Accept 10 brownie points!!

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I may only go once, two reasons, 1 so I can say I've tried and everyone can stop nagging me at every meeting I attend re my kids 2. It might be different, though I'm not holding my breath, so may help. If not then I have an arguing point.

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So sorry for you mate.but u got to keep going.easy for me to say but god bless u and i will say a prayer.you will get through it.5years a go a physio paralyzed me for a month .had to spen a month to walk again and tetrain all my body functions.but i kept goin and got it back.i av just been told i av af.my cardioversion failed so back to it.this forum really helps me get through it with wonderfull people.my point is dont give up mate.keep going👍👍

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The power of sharing is immense and certainly, on this site, I just pray that you will feel the love and healing that is now shining in your direction. Take care of yourself foremost and never feel guilty about that as it is you that is steering the ship through the rough waters.

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Oh thank you for the kind reply. Everyone has been immensely supportive on here. I kind of lost myself yesterday and it is so helpful that there are so many on here willing to give friendly advice even though the majority of what I originally posted wasn't relevant to my afib.

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I've had my share of problems in my 73 years of trying to survive and I've learnt a few ways of looking at things that have helped me. These may help if you spend a little time thinking about them:-

Adam and Eve messed it up - and they lived in Paradise so what chance have I got living in ( insert your village). :-)

Don't spend too much time looking back. Imagine if you did this while driving a car - always looking in the rear-view mirror. You'd soon have a crash. Learn from the past but don't live in it. Spend your time looking forward.

What is a problem? To me a problem is an un-made decision. Gather all the information you have and decide what you are going to do about it. It is no longer a problem - it is a course of action.

If there's nothing you can do about it then it is still no longer a problem it is a fact of life and you have to live with it.

Set yourself goals in order to get things done. Old Chinese saying: For the ship with no port of destination there is no favourable wind.

In other words:- If you don't know where you want to be then no one can help you to get there.

My wife has dementia and I also have a disabled daughter and have struggled with the claims for DLA/PIP etc.

The law has recently changed on a few issues to do with how many points you can be awarded so I would suggest that you book an appontment at the CAB and go armed with what you have. My daughter has been disabled since birth and is now 29. We have never been given the benefits without having to appeal. She is currently on the highest rates of PIP for Care and Mobility because I asked for help. Just filling the forms out causes enormous stress and that's something you could do without at present.

I contacted Benefits & Work (https://www.benefitsandwork.co.uk) and got lots of good advice but I had to pay about £15 a year to join this group. It was well worth it for me but you might find that the CAB people will help you more.

(Disclaimer: I'm a man so I think in practical terms.)

My wife's favourite joke:-

Q. What do you call a man with half a brain?

A Gifted!

Did you smile? Keep smiling .

Regards and best wishes,

George

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George. I did smile. It is something I thing I have not done much over the last few years. I thank you for that. The supportive replies I have had on here are phenomenal.

I once was the person who solved everyone's problems, emotional and practical, I was the 'go to' person. I've lost that and my confidence has nosedived and feel very alone in coping. I'm feeling a lot more proactive thanks to the kind responses and hopefully get back on track., regards, Daisy.

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You have so much on your plate. Do you have family members who can help out with your mum and daughter? When it hits it hit very hard. You need some time to calm things down. I am in USA and help care here has become a big business but there are services and agencies who can assist. Maybe your local church could assist with some of your issues and burdens. I am good at giving advice not so good as taking it!! I believe in the power of prayer. Keep praying. Thinking of you.

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Thank you. No one but me to do this unfortunately. Mum can be very difficult and stubborn. She's 4ft 7 and can be fierce enough to of managed to frogmarch me out of the the house. I do love her and won't give up on her

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Do you have a loving husband?

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I'm on my own after putting up with multiple affairs, the last being very public I have been on my own for 4yrs and only just getting the energy to start a divorce

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Im 65, I used to be that person that everyone turned to also. A fib and/ or its treatment forced me to retire almost a yr ago from a nursing career I loved. Other than being broke now, Im finding that there is more to life than meeting everyone elses needs. Im still trying to figure out who I am, what do I like, what are my interests. Sounds kind of stupid when one is 65 , should know all that. I never realized how my entire life and career involved meeting others needs. The a fib has put the brakes on a lot of things, my house isnt tidy, the are 3 days of dishes in the sink, etc. Im making myself not care. Hang in there. Reinventing a new life is a journey.

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Hello. Thank you. Unfortunately having the last two in my early forties mean I still have teenagers, both with extra needs. Mum will only allow me to care for her and will go out of her way to make others not welcome my dad was controling and she's never really socialised. She's not too much work. I visit twice a day and take a meal so that I know she has eaten more than biscuits and chocolate. Her short term memory is the issue. Now she doesn't like going out, sadly the pressure is off me as she drank spirits excessively and falling or setting fire to her kitchen. That was a nightmare time for me as I was on eggshells constantly and just waiting for the calls. There is no other family around so there is just me

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Take one week OFF ... no mother, no daughter, no stress. Think only about you and your well being. If necessary, take an over the counter sleep aid ... sleep is the most important of all. During that off week do easy organizational things within your home. Make it look pretty. Make it look spiffy! Do beauty things for yourself. Beauty treatments, facials, exercises, healthy eating. Only fruits and veggies. Drink tons of water. Have one small cocktail prior to your all veggie dinner. Then go to your bed and relax. Take your relax sleep tablet and read, watch tv, or whatever you love to do! Alone! One week! Let us know how you feel at the end of that week.

In other words, throw your life into a disciplined ritual! Do the same things each day. I sense so much scatter from you. Good luck!

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You are right with the scatter, I've given up in the house which is then distressing me so counter productive. I cannot see a way to have time to myself. There is no one else here for me. I have contacted a talking therapy service and they are contacting me after the weekend. I'm hoping I will get some support and guidance. I'm seeing my life slip away and panic set in on my 60th birthday as I worked it due to no access to my bank because of a fraud incident which has only just resolved 6weeks later in the mean time no money which was awful. I had to do what I could for food etc

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One must have money. You need a housekeeper. Someone to help you with household chores. Don’t you guys have social services to help you out? The answer to all of your problems is Money. Your banking problem would have thrown me into a panic as well. Anyway, you must look at your problem non emotionally. Before falling asleep make a list of Tomorrow’s Priorities. List them one by one. Then you will sleep better knowing that you are a bit organized and in control. Look into social services that perhaps might provide you with an assistant due to your physical and mental issues. You need a game plan and stability and FOLLOW THROUGH in your life. A ritual. It’s easy for me to say, l have a loving husband and lots of the tools needed to be a fairly together person. But l sense from you scattered thinking, loss of control, lack of discipline, lack of energy, poor dietary habits, poor posture. Start with making lists and checking each one off as you complete each. Stay on you feet as much as possible rather than sitting around. I wish you good fortune in your life. Take charge!! 😚

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Your post detailing all that you're dealing with saddened me. I wanted to say that hopefully your situation will improve soon & I'm sure there are people out there that can & want to help. You certainly have all of us to listen to you & pray for an improvement in your circumstances. Don't feel guilty about sharing your problems, we're here to support you!!

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Thank you. I've got myself in a mind set that every day there will be a problem. I'm pretty good at that because there are very few days without even a niggle of a problem. My energy levels are at rock bottom so will see my gp at some point after the weekend as I can't and don't want all of the struggles without any energy

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Bisoprolol will knock your energy levels 'something awful' - so stop taking it - as the doctors have suggested. You can always restart if you decide you want to, or 'get permission' to use it if, and when, you have an AF attack. You may feel a bit unsettled for a few days, but after about a week your energy levels should start to improve. That will help with all the rest! Much love and prayers, Polski.

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Daisy I'm also pissed off with everything you try to talk to people and they tell you it takes time but we trapped in a never ending circle the drugs you are on are also a factor they are depressing drugs are you going to have an ablation

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I have no idea I've only had one appt at the hospital since last August. My notes were incomplete and there wasn't even my admission and discharge details on line. I'm contacting gp tomorrow. I've felt pretty unwell today so think I need seeing as my hr has been dipping down to 42bpm and up to 78bpm since this morning, I'm only on 1.25mg bisoprolol in the morning and my resting hr is 51-52bpm according to fit bit and BP machine since last year

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Sorry about my punctuation

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I had a cardioversion in April and not heard off hospital since. I know there under pressure but aftercare non existent with your current plight I sincerely emphasize with you. I know these are only words from someone you don't know but keep strong as there will be better times xx

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