On this Bank Holiday Monday, I thought I'd lighten the mood a bit. We've all got some of life's baggage to contend with or we wouldn't be here would we?
So, the good people who look after this Community have told me y'all like to sing the blues from time to time so I've taken the liberty of writing this song for you while I had some cornflakes. It is of course a work of fiction but the subject is very close to my heart (pun definitely intended!)
It chronicles a future conversation I'm waiting to have with my Cardiologist. You can sing it to almost any twelve bar blues song as they're mostly all the same... (sorry Blues Fans, only joking!)
So, at the risk of offending anyone, here's a light hearted look at a serious subject. I give you Tractorman's "Old Ablation Blues". Here goes.
# 1
Woke up this morning, had to see my Card-ee-o
Woke up this morning, had to see my Card-ee-o
Had to get my ass up to the hospital...
Man you know, I felt so low.
# 2
I said “Doctor, Doctor, Doctor - what's that paper in your hand?”
I said “Doctor, Doctor, Doctor - what's that paper in your hand?”
He said "I got your results here boy -
your life ain't worth a grain of sand!"
(of course he won't say that. He's jolly supportive actually but I thought we could do with some drama in here y'know?).
# 3
He said "Son I need to tell ya, you gotta have some ab-lay-shun."
He said "Son I need to tell ya, you gotta have some ab-lay-shun."
(shall we just say "repeat" for the 2nd line from now on? It's not like we've got all day for this is it?)
I said "Doc you must be jokin'!
Can't believe my running days are done"
# 4
"Don't worry boy I'll tell ya, ablation won't cause you no pain
(Repeat)
I said 'I really don't want no ab-lay-shun,
Just the thought of it is drivin' me insane!"
And he said:
# 5
"Y'know I believe in intervention, don't want you medicating no more"
(Repeat)
I said "Doc that stuff don't faze me,
So pull that pill pad from your drawer"
So he looked me in the eye and said
# 6
"You don't need no Bisoprolol, don't need no Flecainide
(Repeat)
By the time them 'blation boys have finished,
Your heart's gonna pretty well be fried".
And THAT'S what I'm talkin' about people - Lord have mercy!
(at this point, please feel free to insert your favourite blues guitar break before we wind this little ditty up...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Wow, that was amazing - you're really good at this stuff aren't you?)
# 7
Well I walked out from his office, with the devil on my mind
(Repeat)
I'd said "Doc I need to do some thinking -
I really need to have more time"
# 8
And the moral to this story is there ain't no right, there ain't no wrong
(Repeat)
I just need to have some clear vision,
and Lord knows, that's why I wrote this song!
The End
Thank you ladies and gentlemen. Tractorman has now left the auditorium....
Vitamin D
Not sure of I should have an Ablation 
Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 64¾
Flecainide and hair loss 
