My dad went into cardiac arrest at the hospital on 12/7. They were able to resuscitate him, but he is currently in a coma and on a ventilator in ICU. He only opened his eyes and moved his face a little when the respiratory therapist changed out parts of his ventilator. Other than that he has not moved at all.
He was initially admitted to the hospital in need of a blood transfusion a few days before he went into cardiac arrest. I spoke about the blood transfusion in this thread. healthunlocked.com/advanced...
He caught Covid from the nursing facility where he was staying temporarily while he got better after having an ulcer and trouble walking after that hospital stay, due to his knees. He was getting physical therapy to help him walk again. The hospital also found that he had pneumonia, and they also told us that his prostate cancer has spread everywhere. 😢 They specifically mentioned his lungs and his liver. He was just in that hospital back in October and November and it was said that it was just in his bones at the time. We also found out recently that he has AFib.
He has so much going on and we are hoping that he pulls through. The hospital staff has been saying that he is really strong and they have also been doing all they can to help him.
If he does pull through, the next battle is the fact that they are saying that the prostate cancer has spread everywhere. Can anyone please offer insight on this? I've feared that this would happen, especially since my dad has not been able to get to an oncologist in months. 😢 I have not been able to talk to an oncologist at the hospital unfortunately, so I do not have any details on this.
jackchen You were so helpful to me in the last thread regarding my dad needing blood transfusions constantly and his weight loss. Would you be able to provide me with information regarding his prostate cancer situation now?
Thank you so much!
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MsMorale
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Oh my, you are going through so much. I have no great advice for you. Just know that I (and many others who just pass by reading) have your Dad in our thoughts and prayers. And you as well.
This is a very sad time for you and I feel for your situation.
I really don’t want to upset you but I am going to be honest with you and in doing so am relying on the limited information i have. Widespread multi organ cancer spread, weight loss, multiple transfusions and cardiac arrest (we don’t know how long resus took) and now on a ventilator in ICU all suggest a very poor outlook.
I think you need to ask the doctors to be really honest with you and to tell you the truth. I am concerned from your comments that you are being given unrealistic expectations of recovery by the doctors.
Do you know what your dad would want in these circumstances?
Thank you for your reply and I appreciate your honesty. I understand the severity of my dad’s situation.
One of the doctors mentioned that he has a 50/50 chance. We also recently gave them the okay to put a tracheostomy tube in him. My dad did initially sign the paper to be resuscitated in case of cardiac arrest. He is a fighter, so although the outlook does not look good, he would not give up and we will also do all that we can until we can’t do it anymore. 😢
I don’t have any great advice to share with you. I just want you to know that when I read your story, I was touched, and I stopped and prayed for you and your father. May He give you comfort, strength, and peace in this trying time.
I have gone over my end of life care with my wife and daughters, medical powers of attorney's are in place.
Your father's clinical data you describe would cause my wife and daughters to implement DNR, along with hospice.
You don't say if you and your dad had this discussion.
Given his physical condition, co-morbidities and advanced PCa, it is unlikely he could tolerate the treatment needed for his advanced PCa, let alone work in slowing it down.
I attended a funeral yesterday for a friend who way too young, 55, from the time of his diagnosis with very advanced PCa to cessation of medical treatment when that was not working, less than a year. He could not even walk from his house to the mailbox! Once he and his family knew it was the end, palliative and hospice, no heroic life saving measures.
If I've upset you with my post, my apologies but wanted to give you a "father's" perspective.
Thank you for your response. No, you did not upset me at all. I appreciate everyone being real and providing me with much needed details at this time. I will be talking to the ICU doctors again soon.
In my letter of instruction to my wife and daughters that's part of my will and our estate plan, I lay out the steps and information to carry out closing out my life. I end it with these words...
"As my dad so eloquently said in his letter to his kids, time to “strike the tents, “ a Soldier’s term for time to move on. Like most of us, I spent the greater part of my life not thinking about the end but in the end, I knew it was coming for me and while not embracing it, accepted it.
What do I ask of you , remember how much I enjoyed being here, know how much you meant to me, that I loved you and that I wish you find the peace that I have in this part of my life."
Sending thoughts to you and your Dad. I think its time, with all the co morbidities to have an honest discussion with the ICU Dr and try to remember what your Dad would have wanted from past conversations.
such a stressful situation for you and your family. One I fear and dread may be in our future, as my husband has been battling this disease for 11 years and is now metastatic. Praying for a best outcome/ least suffering for your dad.
Very sorry to see this about your dad. It is never easy watching a parent go through the end of life and associated issues.
I think you need to have a family meeting. His condition is dismal. Being on a vent this long after resuscitation most likely indicated some brain injury due to lack of oxygen when he has his heart attack. Also known as cerebral anoxia. Once he has a trache, he will most likely be transferred to a long term care facility. Here he will be more susceptible to pneumonia, urinary infections.
This coupled with the fact that he has incurable stage 4 disease that involves at least two organ systems does not bode well for him. Though I am not privy to all of the specifics, I think most of us would advise comfort care measures at this time. I would urge the family to meet and talk it over with the attending physician. Right now, your dad is in no pain. Comfort care may be the best choice. I ma very sorry that you are having to go through this.
This is very tough to see a parent face a serious challenge like this. I went through it with my parents, both died in a hospital, and I never thought I would live through it. There will be a time to say goodbye, but cherish every living moment. Psalm 23 always comforted me. God bless.
I'm so sorry to hear about your dad's condition. It sounds incredibly difficult, and my heart goes out to you and your family during this time, especially during the holidays. I hope your dad continues to fight through this and that you get the chance to speak with the oncologists soon.
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