1. This post is offered up with light hearted intent and is in no way meant to detract from the very real and serious problems many of us face because of our diagnosis.
2. This post is partially inspired by maxone7 who let us know that he has a real problem when people throw plastic in the paper recycling and they better tread carefully when he finds out. Don't bother looking for the post, it'll take you forever. 😀
--------------
So in our house Mrs. Skiingfiend is the recycling marshall. We live in the Pacific Northwest (some of you will know what that means) and we really have like seven classes of recycling and corresponding containers. Paper at the curb, plastic and tins at the curb, glass at the curb, compost at the curb (kitchen and garden waste), specialty plastics (including some food wrappings and containers) to be saved and dropped off at a depot, electronics waste to be saved and dropped off a depot ( this can include everything from televisions, stereos, computers, kitchen appliances, batteries, light bulbs and more). Phew.
Mrs Skiingfied is very conscientiousness and ensures that we only dispose of pristinely clean garbage. So we actually clean everything before we throw it out, particularly food wrappers and containers. It has to be spotless. We literally have the cleanest garbage in the neighbourhood, I know - I checked. Sometimes when Mrs Skiingfied is not around and I make some garbage and I don't feel like washing it at the time, I hide it in the freezer with the intent of getting to it later. In typical male fashion, I forget all about it, out-of-sight - out-of-mind. Needless to say when Mrs Skiingfiend catches on, and she always catches on, I end up furiously washing garbage with my tail between my legs.
Ok, so now that I have established my bona fides as a less than ideal choice for life partner, I can get to the crux of my real problem.
Mrs. Skiingfiend retired from a corporate career that included lots of travel and time on the road. I was still working and she didn't want to just sit around the house so she decided to pursue something local and completely different on a part-time basis. She decided to go work at the local butcher.
Now Mrs. Skiingfiend is a consummate foody and loves to cook, hooray! Did I mention we live in the Pacific Northwest? Did I mention she is very conscientiousness? As much as possible we eat only locally grown organic produce and meat from local organically raised livestock. Mrs. Skiingfiend has even on occasion visited our local suppliers to check out their operations to ensure they meet her standards. Anyway, I digress.
My real problem is that Mrs. Skiingfiend is constantly getting "hit on" at the butcher shop. She has received multiple bouquets of flowers, boxes of chocolates, a case of beer, handwritten poetry, and multiple invites out to dinner. It's gotten so bad the girls at the shop have told her you need to start talking about your husband more when you're dealing with customers. I never realized there was such an oversupply of single middle-aged men in our neighbourhood.
So now all of a sudden, here in my twilight years, when I thought everything had been settled between us after 25 years of marriage, the bar has been raised and I find myself needing to compete against these aspiring paramours.
I hope I can rise to the challenge!
--------------
Feel free to comment or provide advice ( the funnier the better) and feel free to share your own stories if you're so inclined.
PS. you know I love you max.
Written by
skiingfiend
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
You can do what my nonagenarian republican friend does, throw it all in the trash and get on with life. Be sure to put it in plastic bags to hide it from the recycling police which do exist in the PNW. Or put it the trash bins outside of Costco.
My 90+ year father couldn't give a rat's ass about recycling protocols either, I think its a generational thing. Thanks for the tips, they inspire me to find more creative ways to hide my garbage from mrs. Skiingfiend so I don't get caught out so often.
I'll take this in the humor you intended and commiserate as I have a garbage nazi for a wife as well here in the PNW. I also have to say I am a bit jealous of you. An attractive foodie wife that works at a butcher! You've found gold. Maybe you need to show up at her work once in a while and stake your claim. My wife is a vegetarian and my meat intake has dropped off quite a bit but it would sure be nice to be tempted once in awhile.
I will eat my blackened chicken caesar salad tonight in your honor. Mrs. Skiingfiend would definitely wield the meat cleaver (see mrscruffy's comment above) if I started showing up at her place of work. She has to deal with enough shady characters as it.
Mine is the opposite, refuses to acquiesce to the trash nazis here in AZ. Also, here in AZ water is becoming a real issue so washing wrappers and such could be considered controversial. Either way, love your post. In need of some humor lately as ADT is taking its toll on our marriage of 34 years. Consequently, trash seems very low on the radar these days.
You make a good point about the water but I think I'm gonna keep that close to my chest. I think my alternative is scrubbing the food waste packets clean with kitty litter out in the garden.
Recycle police is that a your code name for your wife? If our recycling is not properly sorted in the right bins they just leave it and I still have to deal with it.
We have 2 cans that get put out weekly, one for recycling and one for trash. That's it. As for your butcher wife?...you better start washing those recycles and bring flowers and candy to the shop.
She's not the only one, the other girls at the shop get hit on as well. Never in a million years would I have guessed that a butcher shop was the goto destination to look for dates.
That's true, but I picked Mrs. Skiingfiend up at work last night and noticed a sign in the window "No Live Animals Allowed" so I guess they don't let men-on-the-prowl in.
Well, it looks like j-o-h-n has signalled this thread is cooked, so I'm going sign off with following thought.
I know I have advanced PC and I'm going to fall to it eventually, but I refuse to let it defeat me while I'm still alive. I will continue laughing, loving and crying until I draw my final breath.
Love y'all (even john) and Happy Thanksgiving to our American brothers and their families and friends. May everybody be showered with love, today and every day.
Humor, Humor and more Humor......for your and everyone else's Christmas stocking....
BTW Before entering a Pub..... and look in the mirror, I'm a Handsome looking dude......after a few drinks and looking in the mirror I'm a Gorgeous looking dude... No issue with bar fights...... I own the Pub.... so I hang out in the kitchen cause I can stand the heat.....
p.s. Save me the Pope's nose..... and remember this.... How can you soar like an eagle if you're surrounded by turkeys....
You made me feel a bit better about my miserable life. Thank you.
If you are down to washing your garbage, i wonder what other completely insane things you are involved in. Lol
Also you know, matter can not ne created nor destroyed according to the current laws of physics.. so.. by washing the dirt off of the garbage, it doesn’t make the dirt disappear. It just goes down the drain and lands in some other spot.
Oh, i just remembered reading an article about how alot of municipalities collect recycled garbage, but don’t have the funds or means to process it so they just throw it in different holes and don’t tell anybody.
Im giggling inside! Wait now im giggling outside too. Thank you for sharing. It was very kind of you. Im serious. Thaks. More please.
I grew up in a culture of yarn spinners in the Irish tradition. The 3 fundamental rules of spinning a good yarn are:
1. It must have some basis in truth
2. Add embellishment for impact
3. Omit inconvenient details
So in this case, rule 3 applies. I live in bear country. You can't put any kind of food waste out (ie overnight) without attracting bears (and also racoons). Even though the city supplies us with so-called bear proof containers, a hungry and determined bear can take one apart, and then you got a real mess, garbage all over the place. So we clean and keep the garbage in the house until pickup day.
I occasionally encounter bears in the garden, for example, one day this fall I opened my front door to come face to face with a bear 20 ft away strolling down my front walkway towards the house. Needless to say I jumped back in the house and slammed and locked the door.
Since it's not a common occurance, sometimes it takes a moment or two to register what I'm looking at. So in the spring this year, I walked out onto my front step and got a a vague impression of black fur up in a tree. Man, that's a big squirrel I thought to myself. I kept looking at it and thought nah it's too big that must be two squirrels. I kept looking at it and realized this is one animal, its got to be a raccoon. Finally, it dawned on me this is a bear, so jumped back in the house and slammed and locked the door.
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
Lupron injection error?
47. Mets Prostate Cancer surgery 
Finish the Dream Continued
QoL - a great gig last night!
