For Our Spouses and Partners πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’— - Advanced Prostate...

Advanced Prostate Cancer

17,328 members β€’ 21,267 posts

For Our Spouses and Partners πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach
β€’34 Replies

We know that you suffer with us, differently, but with us. Your love and care is both needed and greatly appreciated - even when we are miserable and don’t show it.

Just like John Denver sang, β€œYou fill up our senses…”

We see your waiting

- Waiting on us to finish appointments, treatments and infusions

- Waiting with us on results of tests and scans

- Waiting and dreading the news that the disease has progressed

- Just don’t wait to live

We hear your mourning

- Mourning for the life we used to have

- Mourning for the person we used to be

- Mourning for your own losses, stress and fatigue

- Just don’t let the mourning devour us before the cancer does

We feel your loving

- Loving and holding us

- Loving us with your tenderness and compassion

- Loving us despite how we have changed

- Remember to also keep loving yourselves

We smell you, recognizing you

- Recognizing your presence - You smell of love, home, comfort and life

- Recognizing your absence and the smell of something missing, a fragrance, your hair, your breath, your coffee

- Recognizing you (and ourselves) in the memories rekindled by aromas

- Please try to remember what we smelled like to you when we were healthy

We taste you in our dreaming

- Dreaming of tasting your kisses

- Dreaming of being awake and alive to taste you more

- Dreaming of the taste of your naughty bits

- Lets fill our senses with each other

From those of us fortunate enough to have you to support and love us, Thank You.

34 Replies
β€’
6357axbz profile image
6357axbz

impressive

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach in reply to 6357axbz

thank you

dico profile image
dico

Beautiful! Thank you!

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach in reply to dico

I appreciate your comments

old64horn profile image
old64horn in reply to dico

Amen brother. Perfectly said. Thank you

One-Eyed-Jack profile image
One-Eyed-Jack

I need to have my wife read this, maybe she will let me sleep later than 5AM on weekends.

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach in reply to One-Eyed-Jack

You stike me as a man of action. What would you do, sleep in until 5:15?

Lyubov profile image
Lyubov

Thank you! So lovely!

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach in reply to Lyubov

Thank you for your response

d3is4me profile image
d3is4me

Thank you so true

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach in reply to d3is4me

thank you

sandystarfish profile image
sandystarfish

thank you for these beautiful words

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach in reply to sandystarfish

Sandy, thank you for being here to represent yourself and your husband

Spyder54 profile image
Spyder54

Very nice first thing in the morning. I dont dare show it to Barbara. She will cry all morning. It bums her out now just when she see’s me reading HU. She knows there is no cure. I explain, we are just extending life now, knowing that Cure or extended Remission are coming. In the meantime we live (with maybe an hour of research in the morning and before our afternoon nap❀️

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach in reply to Spyder54

Thanks Spyder. I understand, my wife Tammy goes through times of stubborn denial and she hates the worrds palliative care. We supported both of her parents as they passed from cancer and it is hard to think she will go through that again.

leo2634 profile image
leo2634

Thats so true amd impressive. My wife is my inspiration to keep living and loving life. ❀️

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach in reply to leo2634

Thanks Leo. I understand and feel the same way. Tammy and I have 43 years together. Sometimes its been great, sometimes a struggle, but I wouldn't want anyone else with me for this journey.

leo2634 profile image
leo2634 in reply to Carlosbach

48 years last weekend.

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach in reply to leo2634

That's awesome Leo. Congratulations to you both

msnik profile image
msnik

verklempt

thank you

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach in reply to msnik

Wow, you've been at this for a while. I'm glad my tribute touched you, I hope you feel appreciated. I'd be lost without my wife's love, support and friendship.

DesertDaisy profile image
DesertDaisy

This brought tears to my eyes. It's beautiful.

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach in reply to DesertDaisy

Daisy, Thank you for your support and advocacy for Dwight.

Bronzee profile image
Bronzee

beautiful!

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach in reply to Bronzee

Thanks Bronzee, I appreciate your zest for living long-term with this disease.

spencoid2 profile image
spencoid2

thanks for the reminder that there is more to our lives than the cancer.

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach in reply to spencoid2

Thanks Spence. I find if I obsess about the cancer, then it becomes my life. So I'm working on focusing on the people and things that give being alive meaning and value.

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber

Nice … beautiful, for sure our wives - caregivers never seem to get the recognition they deserve.

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach

Thanks K. Thought the hammer deserved some recognition for the coast tripπŸ˜…

Bethpage profile image
Bethpage

Carlosbach, as a wife reading your verses, I so appreciate you. I do the reading to keep up with research, the searching for the appropriate specialists, keep up with the meds, records, meals, scheduling, literally all of the worrying (because my husband is so laid back), My husband is 11 years older, has some cognitive impairment, and ended up with CLL secondary to radiation for PCa. I want him with me and I will do absolutely anything to make that happen. Some of the spouses just about crater with you guys under the stress. I know that many husbands do the same when their spouse has health issues. It's called love and commitment.

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach in reply to Bethpage

Beth, Thank you for your feedback.

Thank you more for being such an awesome support and caregiver to your husband. I'm glad that in some small way my words recognized your love, commitment and devotion.

So many do not have someone to support them in the things that they are unable to do for themselves. Many of the rest of us are conditioned not to express their appreciation, even though they are extremely grateful in their hearts. As I thought about my wife's journey through my illness, I felt compelled to put my thoughts into words.

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach in reply to Bethpage

Hi Beth, saw your message about the caregiver site and your Facebook group. I’m glad that there’s some resources besides this site.

If you think it would be of interest or helpful, feel free to repost my post on those sites.

Thank you for your efforts to support other caregivers in addition to supporting your husband

Proflac profile image
Proflac

As a wife of 47 years - thank you for these kind words. Its a terribly tough ride for all you men but nice to see this reflection on the contribution of partners Xx

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach in reply to Proflac

You deserve the tribute.

Your husband is one of the lucky ones. He is fortunate enough to have a supportive wife to have his back during his illness

You may also like...