Hey everybody i hope you r doing well
My father has recently been diagnosed with metastatic prostate cancer and the doctor said he will live 3-4 years and i can't get over this idea. Im so miserable. He is 62 years old and i think he is too young to say goodbye to kids and life. I dont want to believe the doctor. He has some mets on spinal cord and femus... Can you give me positive results to calm down thank you...
What right does a doctor? say he has only x amount of years to live. It is unknown how many years he has untill so many years & scans & treatments etc.I hate that when the ONC draws a line on a board with D at the end & says you are here!
That was done to me & I am still here many years later & there are many long termers here also that can verify that it can be a long term disease.
The best of Luck to your father.
As ARIES529 says, nobody knows that number. The earlier the cancer is detected the more treatments available. Even later in the disease, there are members on the forum that were diagnosed decades ago.
The best chance of improving the odds of survival, is to have a good doctor you can communicate and work with. There are many treatment decisions to be made along the way, and it’s best to have a doctor aligned with your goals.
Was he told this by a urologist or an Oncologist? My Urologist told me I had 3 years, then went to see an Oncologist he said there is no way to tell as there are so many treatments available to patients. My three years has turned into 5yrs. and 7 months. On the 6th of every month or near that day my friends and I hoist a drink to my still being alive. My Oncologist is confident there will be a cure in my lifetime. Eat right, exercise take all your meds and supplements and never miss an appointment
Great Post. I believe that there will be a cure in my lifetime. Going on 5 years. Thank you
They told me I had 4 to 6 years to live in 2004. I have been around with PC for 19 years going to 20 in few months. Put more information about your dad clinical situation and people here will be able to give you an idea of the many possible treatments to control the cancer and prolong life.
I was diagnosed 6 1/2 years ago. Still here. Still going strong. PSA is undetectable (it was 227 at diagnosis.) Had a spinal met, too.
A statement that you have x years to live is ridiculous. You can look at averages - or a mortality table - and get ranges. But everyone responds differently. No two cancers are the same.
Tell your dad to get a really good oncologist who specializes in prostate cancer. Preferably at a center of excellence hospital. They will likely tell him that prostate cancer needs to be treated like a chronic illness - similar to being a diabetic. There have been so many new medications and treatments developed in the last 5-years that “old” estimates of life expectancy are irrelevant. Once one type of treatment fails, you move on to another. This works for many of us very well.
The fear will decrease for you all when you learn more about the disease.
Then lean in this group. Read a lot here and ask questions. There is an amazing amount of experience here - someone seems to know the answer to just about everything. Or at least has an informed opinion.
Best wishes on your dad’s journey! We are all here for you both! Just ask! 😊
James
Hi Merimerimeri,
Good job, you found a wonderful prostate cancer forum! Plenty of guys here with experience, good hearts and tremendous knowledge. Please post everything you can about your Father's situation...gleason scores, PSA, scan results, prior treatment, etc. There are some very smart cookies here who will help you in a big way. You certainly want your Dad seen by the very best Doctors available. Good luck.
This article was written 3 years ago. Todd is a current member of this forum and an inspiration to us all:
My dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer and Mets to his bones in 2014 January today we are January 3 of 2021 he is still alive still doing very well of course he has bone pain but as far as the cancer spreading to his organs or anywhere else it has not it’s been stable so I don’t know what why or what kind of doctor would say that to you but I know there are some unusual ones out there . I would get a second opinion and possibly go from there if you can afford it obviously there are lots of different medications on the market for this disease that’s you can treat it but obviously once it’s spread you can’t curate but you can live a good long life from what I’ve read people die from other things before they die from prostate cancer so I hope that kind of helps you
Why don't you tell us more about his case and we can give you some new directions to take.
There is a Dr. Kwon who is head of their prostate cancer department who rails against these death sentences that some Docs give.
See if you can start with a second opinion from him. He probably has a few more tools at his disposal than your current Docs. Including a positive attitude.
Tall Allen here really stays up with the current research. If you drop enough information he for certain will make some high quality recommendations.
I think you got lucky dropping your message here. To my knowledge it's probably the best place on the internet you could have come to, to find some new directions to take.
This is the BEST answer in the thread period.! I am going in 11 years..failed Robotic Prosrotechmy, 6 months later Had salvage radiation, again within 6 months my PSA started doubling ..have been on lupron since then 2013. The list of drugs foes on and on...My point is every man's case is different. .I was told by my oncologist that the trial I'm on Xtandi and Olaparib (spelling) ? Is just about the end of the line...( all of the men that were diagnosed with me back in 2010 are gone..but In still here ..and with a New Hope since I saw Dr Eugene Kwon at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester MN...only mistake I made was waiting..3 years to make my appointment. The man is not only brilliant but 100% compassionate and he LISTENS TO YOU . In not sure I should say this, but at the end of my over an visit.. with him he gave me his personal Cell number! He said to me if your Dr. Says he is gaining you palliative care, change Drs He Dr. Kwon believes and shoots for a cure! He explained to me the science of his treatment regimen... and we walked out of his office feeling a weight of a million pounds lifted off of our chests. HE IS THE MAN .Call the Mayo Clinic and start the appointment process it took us almost 6 months to get yo see him .Boy was it cold lol..( we came from Tampa it was 75F to 3F in Rochester when we landed...worth every penny . Use priceline.com stay at Hotel Indigo, Do not rent a car, Call Anderson wheel chairs and rent electric scooters to take advantage of the Skyways and Subway at the Clinic In sure your Dad will have a good outcome. STAY HEALTHY and Blessef..
The Wizard of Wesley Chapel Has Left the building
~Wizard out! 
I am curious as what program(s) he placed you on. Thank you
At this point in time he did not alter the care plan that I'm on at Moffitt, because it's working. I'm on the lupron alternative 3 month shot, Xtandi and Olaparib. My PSA is holding around1.6. If it should rise or new mets start to show, he wants me to ask to be put on Chemo and to stop it after one cycle, so I can be eligible for a new soon to be approved 177 type of protein compound that should have approval by 2nd quarter of 2022.
I asked my MO when I began a clinical trial after RP in 2019 how he would guide me if I should have a recurrence in a few years. He said as of today I have no idea.
This is the kind of doctor you want.
Welcome to the group Merimerimeri …
Lots of great guys and gals here that can give you some of the best , most informed, medical information and advice ….. lend a ear to lighten your load and even crack a little humor when “ things “ naturally become a little grim and depressing . Just know you aren’t alone in all of this …. We all are here with you too.
💪💪💪 ❤️❤️❤️
Diagnosed at 46 years old with Stage 4 Gleason 9 (4+5). That was 2009! Still rolling. Fight, learn and grow. The future is fluid and incapable of intelligent numbers games. Breathe and get steady and begin the walk.
Damn brother- I’m in the Stage 4/G9 club also - rounding the corner on year 6
Welcome to our war 😢. Stage 4 here in 2016. They gave me a 50/50 chance of 55 months. I’m at 65 months now. Still doing ok. Never give in.
Going on 12 years, Metastatic Castrate Resistant, bio chemical failure Prostate Cancer a death sentence by most Drs but not Dr.kwon at the Mayo Clinic in Rodchester MN. STOP WASTING TIME and call for an appointment! You can thank me later That call will ensure a Happy and Healthy New Year for you and your dad.
As has been stated many times, each of us are as individual as a snow flake. A great amount of positive energy here and useful information.I too was told to get my affairs in order, 14 years ago.
Merimerimeri...
As being a newbie here, I hope you are as impressed and encouraged as I am when I read all these testaments as to survivability!
Cancer diagnosis is not necessarily a death sentence in a sense that it is acute or immediate. Cancer today is looked at and treated for many as a chronic condition rather than one with immediate end points. We think otherwise once we hear that dastardly word, Cancer! We shut down our mind and begin processing all we have previously been exposed to in this regard.
I am glad for you that you happened to find this place. You will find others who walk or have walked the same path. And many here unselfishly share themselves and experiences for the betterment of others. Whether it be in results from therapy or simply piece of mind!
We are all brothers in this fight, and we all sympathize and know how you feel and where you are as most of us have all been there too. Don't feel funny to ask questions, write everything down. Ask again if you don't understand. With doctors too, get 2nd opinions and make sure you get yourself to a Major Cancer Center and one of Excellence, one like already mentioned. It is at these centers that patients will be able to access the very best of care and treatment. No offense to local facilities, but they can't compete. Again, you're fortunate to have found your way here IMO.
Best Regards
My urologist said 3-5. After I came to this site, I ditched the urologist and went to a medical oncologist who simply set up a treatment plan. After time I realized the urologist simply didn't know standard of care for 2021, and if I hadn't gotten a second opinion, he may have been right.
First of all Meri, stop stuttering.....next ask that doctor to send me (only me) next weeks winning lottery numbers NOW. Finally, your dear Dad will be around for a very long time and you and he will be laughing your asses off at my humor...... p.s. we all went through the shit and survived.....BTW where are you located?
Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.
j-o-h-n Tuesday 01/04/2022 6:09 PM EST
I would fire any doctor that said that to me and I have. I have fire a few doctors along the way. My first surgeon told me I had 5 to 10 years to live, that was 29 years ago, and yes my diagnosis was gloomy. I had a Gleason score of 9 and PSA of 39.
It's impossible to know how he will react to treatments. Stay positive and enjoy your time together, try not to dwell on timelines. 💙Be his advocate and stay on top of information.
Hey Lupron, where's my side effects?
QOL - Hey I wrote a book
Treatment with new technology
I have a favor to ask of everyone. 
