I have felt supported here and appreciate this. I wish that cancer was not such big business, as such, I don't feel as hopeful that we will ever see the kinds of real cures and preventions that could shut the industry down.
My husband lays dying after 5 years of doing all the allopathic and alternative treatments we could wrap our minds around...he has no pain, that's all mine.
Wishing you all eyes wide open and live your lives to the fullest, with kindness, compassion and humor.
Cat
As long as greed continues to run rampant, there will be no cures, no prevention and no end to wars!!! It’s a sad thought but prove me wrong.
As long as there is a profit, they will continue to come up with new treatments, but I have to agree, not a cure!!!
This is one of the many multi billion dollar industries that are not going anywhere!!!!
In the mean time, we fight like good little soldiers with the weapons they or mother nature provides!!!
Sorry to hear about husband. Sounds like you both put up a good fight!!
Jc
Gordon Greco said “ greed is good” all top pharma execs bite into this I believe.
I'm so very sorry to read this...my "like" is actually a hug...may you both receive peace and comfort,although I know words are not enough, they are sincere...🙏🕊️❤️
The phrase “read between the lines” in virtualtext flashed in neon to me!
One wonders where you’re going ... Am I reading a note of departure?
I want to cry whenever I hear off one of us moving on. I know that when my time comes those left behind will continue to suffer even though I will be at peace, Sorry to hear of your husbands condition and pray you can remember all the good times you had in the past,
Im sorry to hear this. Just remember that you both did your best and thats the important thing. Prayers of strength, peace and comfort for you and your husband.
I don’t know you personally but I want to send you many hugs and much love with your journey forward❤️❤️❤️
WXYZ123,
I am so sorry to read your post. I wish you continued strength. I have found that in times of loss, even when there have been many around, there is a feeling of emptiness in the world so palpable that it hurts. Don't let it be as you wrote, "all mine" all the time. I sit here wondering what to write. We learn to live with it. I guess the hurt means that we were fortunate to have loved and been loved. The ones that have loved us and that we have loved will always be a part of us. I often think that time and the physical and spiritual aspects of life, of being , of how they intersect, isn't just happenstance.
Take time for yourself--when you can.
Thank you for your wishes to us, thinking of us at this time. The term "class act" was coined to describe someone such as you.
God be with you Cat.
Currumpaw
Your words ..moved me...may the love and memories you shared be a warm elixer...strong enough to dull the pain...till you feel his breath in the heavens again..b.w.
Hugs to you and your husband
Oh I am so sorry to hear this. Prayers for you and your husband. Yes, you are left with great pain. This is an awful experience for patient and family alike. Please take care of yourself. Many hugs. Carol
I am so sorry
😢😢😢. I hate this monster,it touches so many people. My heart goes out to you both. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
Cat,
So sorry for your pain and loss. I hope are able to find peace and strength in God.
Peace
I pray for you to find some peace after your grief....you have probably been grieving all along...I am not where you are, but I expect to be in my not too distant future. This journey has led us to find joy and meaning in what God intends. He is the God of All Comfort especially at these times.
You are were I will be someday... never know when. We just started year 3 post chemo. PSA starting to rise. I hope you don't feel alone. Know you have all our thoughts, hearts, prayers and empathy. 💕💕
Thinking of you and praying with you!
Very sorry to hear this, knowing that you've done everything for the person you love is perhaps the most important human thing we can do, and you've done it for years for your husband! I know this will bring you no comfort, but I'm sure (as I was sure my dad knew in his own way) that your husband is comfortable deep inside him, because of all the love and care around him.
Art
My heart goes out to you.
The Summer Day
Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?
—Mary Oliver
Ah, Mary Oliver! Great one, Dadzone. There is nothing better than some Oliver to settle one into a more calm and contemplative mood...sorrowful and hopeful at the same time. My favorite:
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
You both gave it your best shot, as we are all doing. So sorry to hear it's nearing the end for you. We are all thinking of you.
Before you give up, give one more chance to the true healer. Look up this name on youtube: Robert Morse ND -> prostate cancer.
Medical system treating cancer is a terrible failure. Ego and personal pride is the greatest obstacle in accepting more powerful healing modalities.
What aggravates me the most is the lack of choice .....we are not able to be cured but are doomed to live inferior lives rather than opting out at the time that we so choose...... very wrong.....we deserve at least as much compassion as we would afford a loved family pet.
Currumpaw's reply was very thoughtful. I am so sorry that the "class act" will soon be a solo act. I know that you can rise from the ashes. You are as beautiful as a rose in bloom.
As I read through your past posts about all that you have done together to save and extend your husband's life, it is amazing. I am saddened, as we all are by your losing your husband, and I send my deepest sympathies.
You are one of what I call "our angels". You reassured him when he was down, attend doctors appointments to be sure he would have the best care, you waited with him for all his treatments and now you are saying goodbye and holding his hand as he moves on.
I know you are angry at the inability to conquer this beast, facing walls at every turn and I know we are all angry at times. Like the poem posted by dadzone43, life is a mystery and a journey of great joy and great sorrow. It is out of our control and our cancer is within us for reasons we may not understand. Perhaps environmental, genetics, too much stress, hormonal imbalances or who know what else. It mutates like a viral pandemic within our bodies and we and our doctors don't know why and run out of treatment options.
There may be a cure out there but you are right to think that a cure for cancer would put an end to some very profitable treatments. Since I can change none of this, I am thankful for every day that I can spend with my wife, daughters, granddaughters and friends.
I hope you can let go of your anger, find peaceful calm, joy and meaning in your life as you go forward and have the memories of great times you and your husband have had together.
I wish you all the best.
Thank you for sharing, Cat. There's nothing better than a good love story. Of course, since love is one of the ways we truly touch a universe beyond comprehension, there's nothing quite as painful, either.
Your recent quote captures it all:
"I am living with a tremendous grieving and a deep gratitude and reverence for this decade of my life."
Grief and gratitude. The two extremes of us. I can only hope that my grief never outshines my gratitude...you've given me something to strive for. Safe journeys. - Joe M
“Grief and gratitude “ well put! This is living with apc ..
We ‘re are also at our five year mark with APC.. I too did much alt med , with still a lot of nutrients and veggies . No pain for him is a real blessing . I’m sorry that you’re suffering so much pain . This a destructive disease to all involved. Living and maintaining some peace of mind and keeping love alive along this rocky road is our goal.. My heart breaks for you both. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🕊
I am very sorry and pray for peace and comfort for the both of you. 🙏🙏
I am very sorry to here this. I pray that God will comfort you.
Peace be with you and your husband.
You both have been with us for a little over a year. You both are part of our family and we feel your pain and your sorrow at this most crucial time in fighting the beast. May your husband rest in the hands of our maker. Please tell him that he was one of our brothers. God Bless you both....
j-o-h-n Friday 02/14/2020 11:26 PM EST
Cat,
I'm so sorry for what you are going through at this time. It is one of life's great unfairnesses that after battling so hard, there is the final gut punch at the end. Right now, it can be hard to see any sliver of happiness, but please don't lose hope for cures and better solutions in the future. They will come, one way or another. In the meantime, be gentle on yourself. There are so many of us here that know what you are going through. Please reach out if you need to. Sending healing energy and big virtual hugs your way!
In solidarity,
Sunlight
I have no words,other than, prayers, peace,comfort.
So sorry to hear this. I walked your road in November. It isn't easy! It still isn't easy. Make the most of whatever time you have left. Every moment is precious. The emptiness that comes afterwards can be all consuming and no amount of time spent with friends eases the loneliness for the one person you can no longer have.
Boseley"s widow
CT scan for possible spread to lungs:bad cough with no signs of infection or virus
Weaning off of Xtandi
Is it okay to go “off topic”?
Off Xtandi, what next?
