Hello My Fellow Brothers on ADT and fighting PCa. Cisco99 recently posted his feelings about coping with PCa which reflected some of my own experiences. I thought it was poetic. His post elicited many good and insightful comments from fellow forum members, which brought many smiles to my face. I felt once again, that I was part of community of decent men coping as best they can, clear-eyed, with the Emperor of all maladies.
I sometimes write "prose" to help understand my predicament and myself. I have done this all my life and find it therapeutic. It is not poetry, but more like a story in a different format. Some may not like what I say, so apologies in advance.
Cheers, Phil
A Different Kind of Man
From the days of my youth,
Forty-seven longish years,
and for forty-one years of bonded union
I knew of only one kind of sexual state of being…
as a male of the human species
with a hormone centric identity and mentality.
Testosterone spoke for my desires, my obsessions and behaviour,
and too, my masculine form and health.
I cried soft, pillow-wetting rivers
when the ragged reality became apparent
of the testosterone-less sentence,
of losing my ability to have intimate sexual relations,
of feeling alive, wholesome
with my loving wife.
I had the fear of becoming a non-functional husband,
never again able to please my wife.
Never again able to fully
feel alive and to enjoy life again.
To lose, for the remaining years,
my former contented state of being.
I have slowly come to embrace
with comfort and understanding the
modified male that I am,
a human being with a residue of maleness,
the original form largely there, but a little softer
a better version of my former state of full maleness,
now, no longer a pejoratively “typical” male.
As I have oft said, in reality,
a male is but a modified female.
So now, perhaps, with a faint smile on my lips,
reflecting chagrin at my new state,
I am closer to humanity’s primary form.
When I delicately embrace my loving wife
with out stretched arms
enveloping her, tightening close,
seeing the Sol of a smile on her lips,
then the soothing cheek on cheek caresses,
and finally the kiss, the ultimate conclusion.
I have only feelings of love and affection,
my whole being singing
with no thoughts of sex.
I am less distracted by chemistry.
Perhaps I am a better man now.
19.11.28; 19.12.01
Gasoline?
New member, some info about me
Value of LDH
