So I know nobody likes somebody who begrudges being fortunate, which is certainly part of the problem. I have a good job, its easy for me, so easy I hardly do any work anymore, which makes me stressed that I'll lose it, but the thing is I have been struggling for a long time and at this point have no motivation at all and kind of want to lose it. It pays very well, like almost 4X the average salary of my state, but I think I want to give up my whole career. I interviewed today for a new job, because I was recruited for the job, not because I was looking. It pays ridiculously well, almost double what I am making now. I could buy whatever I wanted and save up huge amounts of money. I'm qualified for it and maybe I'll even get it if I keep trying. It's interesting, and I would have to work harder and travel and such, but it's still within my career, and I just don't like my career anymore. I know my ADHD would take care of achieving on the job and I would dive in with both feet and be engaged, but I know the rest of my life would suffer as a result. Since diagnosis I have, for the first time in my life, let my desperation about being good at work take a back seat and focused on self-care, and figuring out what I actually want.
I grew up without resources, undiagnosed, confused, and with no direction in life. I wasn't supposed to have this fortune at work. I didn't go to college, I never tried that hard at my job on purpose, I just said yes to opportunities and had neurosis about pleasing people and proving myself. That is another part of the problem. I feel like I have to be a statistic for achievement, because my high school guidance councillor said I was going to work at a liquor store or be a drug dealer, but here I am 35 years later with a career people work their asses off to get. How on earth can I say no, what kind of person does that?
I think I just want to work in a bike shop, making less than the average income in my state. Not being able to buy anything beyond basic necessities and having a balanced life that would allow me to focus on self care and our beautiful world while I still have years left to live in it well. I can afford it, I just have to give up shopping, but really, I don't need much and just waste money now anyway. But, I don't know how to stop climbing the ladder the whole world wants to climb. I don't know how to say no.
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I figured out what I want - I want to work with bicycles, they are the one thing that has been a constant joy in my life that I never tire of. I research and think about them very frequently, and have for decades and decades. But a job in a bike shop would be a 70% pay cut, I would not have much control over my hours, there is little room for advancement, and I might lose that job in the winter season as bike shops are not very busy from October - April. On the other hand, I have a career that people dream of, and am interviewing for a job that would nearly double my already high salary...and I know I don't want that job, although it would be interesting, it would require 100% of my energy and I would have nothing left for the rest of life. Working in a bike shop would hardly even feel like work, and I wouldn't be sitting down so much. But how do I say no to a huge salary after growing up with nothing.
Oh dear!If we were sitting down chatting over some ribs and sour cream I'd be asking you if there was a way to both work to get a bit of income maybe part time and then play with bikes for the rest of the week.
You sound like the protagonist in the Twilight Zone episode "A Stop at Willoughby". He was a busy executive who was on a train and experienced a town in a simpler time, then ruminated on it the rest of the episode, until he returned there. (It was definitely one of the more positive episodes of the anthology series.)
I have a friend who I met at church over a decade ago. He's a bit mentally handicapped. (He couldn't read until his mid-20s, when he became a Christian, then taught himself by attending Bible studies.) Besides his faith, he's got two other passions: hockey and bicycles.
• Now in his 30s, he has a small business and solo ministry based on fixing up bicycles. When the local bike shop is busy enough, he works there part-time. But if it wasn't for him receiving disability benefits, he wouldn't get by at all. At the local bike shop, the only people who can work full-time are the owner-managers.
The local colleges in that same small city attracted an e-bike rental company that struggled to get off the ground. I moved away, so I don't know if they were able to stay in business there.
You are obviously very accomplished, so I'm sure that you and my friend are as opposite as night and day for your capabilities. Unless you're going to own the bike shop, you probably won't be able to make a livable income from it, unless you're in a large enough market area...and then, you would likely have competition.
I'm not trying to dissuade you. I'm a dreamer, and I love it when people have a dream that they want to live out. It might really be just the thing for you.
If you're not feeling up to the job you're being recruited for, then don't take it.
Or, if it interests you, but you want to find a way to reduce the workload, then consider something like this:
• Propose a counter offer for ¾ of the proposed pay rate. if you can hire an assistant with the remainder.
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I, myself, got contacted by a recruiter a few weeks ago. I just got an offer letter yesterday. (Yay!) I'm going from a job that has way too many parts that I can never focus, to one that will allow me to specialize in a specific software platform.
• I'm barely getting by now, and the new job only pays 10% more, but I won't have a long commute anymore. So, I'll save time and money. I'll also be able to focus on developing my work skills in one focus area, instead of getting pulled between several.
• I lost any excitement about my current job within a couple of months after starting. (The plan to get me a coworker at my site, so I wouldn't feel like everything is on my shoulders here, vanished almost a year ago. If the company isn't interested in helping me by paying me better are improving my working conditions, I'm not interested in staying.)
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My questions for you are:
• What drew you to your current job?
• If you could make changes to your current job or the one you're being recruited for to make it into one you're more interested in, what would it be? Maybe you could negotiate adjustments to the position you're being recruited for (like the aforementioned idea about taking lower pay in order to hire an assistant).
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Or, consider your dream of working in a bike shop, but add something "extra" to it, in order to improve the potential profitability:
• I know of a bike shop that was across the street from a city park with a lot of bike paths. They did hourly and daily rentals, which probably was half their business.
• My friend with the bike ministry has a trailer that he pulls behind his bike with everything he needs to do stand tuneup and repair. He's always at the ready. - If there are organized bike ride events in your area, then maybe such a service could be hired by the event.
• Bike maintenance or safety classes might also be an occasional moneymaker.
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Any Farmers, family or spouses of farmers, out there with ADD/ADHD?
Another year, another job...
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Finishing the biggest project of my life!
