Feeling exhausted all the time . Is that normal ??

I haven’t been for my diagnoses yet but the more I read up the more it’s pointing in the ADHD direction . I’m really trying to push myself and I manage to go to work just ! But I’m so mentally drained and feel like all i want to do is curl up when I get home . I feel I’m not much fun to be around with my partner and have I never managed to hold onto any friendships over the years unless alcohol was involved due to my social anxiety. I feel lonely not having any girls friends . I’m just putting on a front but it’s destroying me inside . My sleep is so bad . Anyone feel the same ? Anyone waiting for an assessment feeling apprehensive and that they may brush it off maybe making it all up In our heads ? Sorry rambling just having a crap day ! 🙈

[Sieleni]

Hello!

I have recently been diagnosed, and I can confidently say that I have spent my entire adulthood feeling exhausted. A typical day of work and two hours of public transport would drain all of my energy. When I got home, all I wanted to do was lie on the couch and do nothing! I could only manage the "essential tasks" like preparing meals and having a shower. Even reading, which is one of my favorite activities, was sometimes impossible because I couldn't focus well enough. It was frustrating because I followed a healthy lifestyle and had enough sleep, so it didn't make sense that I was constantly exhausted. Now I realise that it was due to the amount of time and energy I spent on tasks that usually don't require much effort for others (for example, packing a suitcase would take me 3 HOURS, now it takes me 20 minutes. I was checking my work five times to make sure I didn't make any mistakes, I was wasting a lot of time forgetting what I was doing, and I was spending so much "mental energy" trying to follow conversations and not getting distracted). Additionally, people didn't understand why I was always tired and lacked compassion, which made it even more frustrating.

It greatly impacted my social life too. I avoided social gatherings or going out with my boyfriend because I knew I would be silent, grumpy, and not good a company to enjoy. As a result, I didn't have friends.

Now that I have been diagnosed and with the help of Ritalin and omega-3 supplements, I feel much better. Social interactions have improved significantly. I no longer interrupt others when they're speaking, I can find my words easily, and I have the right amount of energy to go out in the evening (although I still prefer to be home before midnight). Consequently, I feel more confident, and my company is more enjoyable. Now I know I can rely on my well-functioning brain ! And knowing that I have ADHD has allowed me to fully embrace the aspects of my personality that I used to consider "childish" before. I no longer try to hide or restrain myself.

Nowadays I have the energy to accomplish everything that needs to be done, and even annoying tasks seem to take less time to complete. I have also stopped falling asleep every time I take public transport or after meals (I even thought I might have narcolepsy).

I realized I used to minimize my suffering due to ADHD, but now I think that I was a kind of warrior to have been able to cope with life for decades with this condition. I even feel a bit of pride!

Voilà, I probably digressed (because ADHD!) but I wanted to say that I understand how you feel. Just know that a diagnosis will allow you to feel better and improve many aspects of your life. Also to be have more compassion with yourself. Hang in there and stay strong! Better times are on the horizon. In the meanwhile be easy on you and prioritize the things that truly matter.

[Hidden in reply to Sieleni]

Hello Sieleni ,

Thank you for the reply and sharing your story . Wow I defiantly relate to it and also find I can be very quiet in social gatherings and even with my own partner and looking back definitely used alcohol at the weekends to try and mask this . I get hot flushes when people talk directly to me and especially if there is more than one person looking at me . It’s my worst nightmare , i can feel myself sweating and going red and heart racing . I’m now in a job where there is less folk which suits me better just now until I get through my assessment. Well done getting though life with no diagnosis and so good to hear you are doing better now with one and medication. I’m sick of waking up exhausted, and a nervous and dull feeling in my chest it’s a horrible feeling but not sore as such ! ? And you are right things can only get better . Good luck 🤞

[Maghdalena]

I haven't been diagnosed for ADHD.vThey want to test my sleep for Apnea first, but my symptoms also lie in the direction of combined ADHD. I grew up on Ritalin, but quit it when I was 24(I'm 64 now). For most of my marriage I've felt so tired and sluggish.

I also have Cretinism diagnosed around 1960, when I was 8 months old, and have my thyroid checked every 6-12 months, and they say it's well within normal range, but still feel exhausted most of the day.

What I'm saying is I feel your pain. Hang in there. It's got to be better, right?

[BurntoutMedc_Student in reply to Maghdalena]

Honestly I found this interesting, because I always suspect I have hypothyroidism , because I have most of the symptoms except the goiter and the cold intolerance, but each time I take the test, I am in a perfectly healthy range? Even my vitamins, and blood levels, everything is perfectly normal. So why am I so tired all the time. Could be ADHD? I dont know really.

[Maghdalena in reply to BurntoutMedc_Student]

Well, something's going on there. I was so sluggish, and my thyroid hormone medication was at the right level, (they take a blood test once or twice a year), and I have Vitamin D2, and I'm still sluggish, I' m guessing it can be ADHD, because we have to work mentally so hard to be able to do what everyone else takes for granted. But the only way to know for sure is get an official examination/evaluation and assessment. It looks like we're in the same boat! Argh!

As for cold intolerance, I've had that all my life, so right there with you! I usually wear thermal socks to bed in the fall, winter and early spring and shed them when I get warm enough or too warm. That and fleece long underwear. I don't know if that will help you, but you could give it a try. That or an electric blanket. I don't have one, so I use a lot of blankets, I must have about 5 pounds of blankets so I don't get too cold at night.

Hope this helps.

[BurntoutMedc_Student in reply to Maghdalena]

Maybe, we will find where the problem is someday hopefully 😅😅😅

[mmcaulay]

Hi,

As you're already exhausted (and I understand that all too well) I'll keep this brief.

In short, yes, it's very normal to feel exhausted all the time. One of the hallmarks of ADHD is that many of the things neurotypical people take for granted consume immense amounts of energy for us. Trying to act "normal" is often called masking, as we are trying to hide how things truly affect us.

I'm 50 and was diagnosed about 2–3 years ago, though it's easy to look back and see its presence throughout my life. One strategy I've employed to help with this is finding activities that are energy positive. I mean, things that not only feel fun and easy, but you actually feel a bit energized by them. I schedule tasks based on my energy needs at the moment. Do I need a recharge? Do something that I find energy positive (this can be anything and doesn't need to be "productive"). If it's a strong enough source of energy, it can actually empower me to do things that are energy neutral or even draining. It's honestly why I still have a career.

Best of luck and feel free to ask about these things, and I'll do my best to describe how I try to manage a life with ADHD. NOTE: ADHD covers a wide variety of symptoms, so you'll definitely want to find the way that works best for you. We think differently, and that's actually a good thing!

[Hidden in reply to mmcaulay]

Hello,

Thank you kindly for the reply. Like I say o haven’t yet had my assessment it’s not until next month so pretty anxious to say the least but have so many of the symptoms not just a few . I have been trying to go to the gym but I seem to get onto it one week and do twice and feel good then weeks go past and I can’t get motivated to go again ! My job is very active and I have dogs and a little girl so I’m always out walking and out and about . It makes total sense when you say “masking” I struggle to do a simple task like a shopping list never mind actually going to the supermarket which I dread and often will drive miles to another one where I won’t see people I may know and don’t have to talk to anyone . I’m in my 40’s so hoping i get some sort of diagnosis and that it will begin to make some sense . What sort of things do you do that help ? Thanks 😊

[mmcaulay in reply to Hidden]

It does sound likely (to me at least) that you have ADHD. But, of course, it's important to get the diagnosis for many reasons. I've heard many times about exercise for both ADHD and depression, both of which I happen to have. But the problem I have is the same one you've mentioned. Motivation. This is another hallmark of ADHD. For some, including myself, it can become so intense that you go into a kind of paralysis. Your brain is screaming at you to just start and do the thing, and your body just sits there. So for me, exercise becomes a bit of a chicken-and-egg thing.

To that end, I've found that removing the motivational hurdle requires I build up a kind of head of steam. That I engage in activities that are purely enjoyable without any aspect of "have to." This seems to raise my mental energy level (as opposed to physical energy level) to be able to cross the threshold into doing an activity I'm less than thrilled with.

In regard to shopping, I don't know where you live, but where I'm at, I have two really good options. One is delivery of groceries ordered online. Though there is a cost involved, it's a good option for me because I'm also a chronic pain patient, so am largely housebound. I also have the option to pick them up for free. This became widespread during the pandemic, and it seems many chains still support this option. So I just order online, pull up to the side of the store and park in a numbered spot. Use the app or call to let them know which slot I'm in, and a nice attendant comes out and loads up my trunk. And that's it. A secondary benefit to shopping this way is I find I make fewer impulse buys.

To briefly return to the energy thing. I'm really talking about the mental energy to choose. I've found this is an expendable resource like anything else. I can run out of capacity to choose. With that being the case, I find I do these calculations about how much energy I think it will take to get me across the motivational barrier. So the majority of my strategies have to do with balancing my activities in terms of their mental cost.

Hope that makes sense. It's taken me a while to figure this out, and having lost a lot of my physical (and mental) energy to pain forced this to the surface where it was more obvious to me.

[Hidden in reply to mmcaulay]

You sound like you have it sussed and sorry to hear about your own story but you do sound positive. I get what you mean about the energy and think I’m putting too much pressure on myself to get to the gym . My assessment is next month so think I’m just going to try ease off on myself if possible and get that out the way first . I seem to be really struggling in the mornings and waking up with a nervous/dull pain in my chest frequently now . It’s not sore just a strange feeling I can’t explain it and I’m never refreshed . But thinking positive I’ve got this far so can only get better . I’ve noticed more symptoms since pretty much stopping drinking at the weekends and I think that definitely masked some of them . Stay positive and thank you 😊

[mmcaulay in reply to Hidden]

Sounds like an excellent plan. One of the best things that came out of my diagnosis was the ability to forgive myself for all the related "shortcomings" I had beaten myself up over throughout the years. Being able to recognize there were some things that, no matter how hard I tried, simply weren't going to work for me was incredibly freeing.

So I 100% agree to take it easy on yourself. Try to leave the self reflection behind for a while, which I acknowledge can be quite difficult, but I think will help you be "fresh," for your evaluation.

Best of luck.

[empleat]

Brain fog + 10/10 chronic pain + cfs + memory issues + focus issues, insomnia, being lonely getting bullied from (99.999%)... like everything that exist < David Goggins Can't Hurt Me/Nietzsche

[MessyButTidy]

Hello, I feel so compelled to share this because it's really made a big impact for me. When you go for your assessment the doctor may give you questionnaires to do, either in-office or at home (they're similar, and maybe some of the same ones you may have already taken online). When you're going through them, ASK QUESTIONS, to the doctor, or to Google, or both when you meet with the doctor. Ask the doctor things like: what qualifies as daydreaming?, How would you describe 'running nonstop like a motor'?, Etc...

A close family member of mine has struggled with crippling ADHD, and when younger they experienced obvious and significant daydreaming, it's less pronounced now, though I think that's 32 years of masking practice as it's still very present. I answered that question on my assessment as "never" but later felt compelled to look it up, it turns out there are different kinds of daydreaming, and I do, not to the same extent as my cousin, but it's been present all along and I had no idea.

Additionally, I am a GREAT organizer. You want a method for making your storage area fit more and have it be more functional? I'll find a way to make it happen, and look nice, AND be functional and easy to maintain in a way that's catered to you (hyper fixation at play here). You ask me to work on this boring account in this boring job and I have to look through 6+ different websites and resources to get info to do the work? Even when all those websites are bookmarked in my browser and the savable ones are pinned in the start bar? I'll see you in 4 hours, maybe more, but maybe less, depends on the time of day it is, how much negativity my manager has thrown my way, etc, etc. Turns out, I'm super organized in some areas of my life, and wildly disorganized in others.

My point is, if you're able to get yourself to do them, take online assessments, and while you're doing it, look up "what is daydreaming", "how can ADHD make you unorganized", Google all of the symptoms they ask you about, or ask the doctor if you're in-person. It's helpful for you as you'll know what exactly they're talking about (I'm pretty smart, not school smart, but pretty smart, somehow above average in many areas, my mind was blown when I learned this from my assessment, and I really didn't have a clue as to how many meanings seemingly obvious terms could take on. It's also helpful for the doctor as it gives insight into how your mind works.

I hope this helps you in your assessment!!

[DyslexicMission]

I hear you, I understand you. I have ADD with dyslexia. Microdosing with Amanita muscaria (fly agaric) has been helping me. It's the best remedy I've tried, which I can wholeheartedly recommend at the age of 51. It helps improve my sleep, soothe my nerves, and bring clarity to my mind. The effects are very gentle, and there are many benefits. If you're interested, I can share my experience.

[Hidden in reply to DyslexicMission]

Hi thank you so much sorry for the late reply ! I have my assessment this week so very anxious . I would be very grateful if you would share your experience. I’m so tired and getting worse ! Thanks