Strategies and sticking to them

[porcupin]

I have read a lot of books on ADHD . I was dx 2 years ago in my 40's. I know that I have to have routine, strategies , structures. But I do it for a day or 2 then slips away. Family may be torn apart bc ot mu ADHD symptoms out of control. Has anyone struggled with sticking to plans and concrete strategies ? If so have you found a way to stick with them?

[Gettingittogether]

Yes, everyone (ADHD or not) struggles with creating new and more effective patterns. You want to learn to credit yourself--as in you follow a good schedule for 2 days ... celebrate! ... that's an achievement ... a bad day or two ... ok, get back to the schedule.

This is why therapy is so important. It helps us with perspective and reasonable expectations. We can no more follow an idea schedule perfectly (starting "this Monday") than we can run a marathon "starting this Monday" or stop eating all sweets starting this Monday ... Changing routines is a process. As in it takes time, like getting in good shape takes time ... It can take a year or several years of sustained effort (and "failure") to create a new pattern.

I've learned this over time. I got a Waterpik for better dental hygiene, and I KNEW there was no way that I could flip a switch and start using the Waterpik EVERY NIGHT! No way ... and by the way, my dental bills were absurb ... I estimated it would take two to three years of "practice" to weave in Waterpik as a real habit, like washing my face. Yep, took about three years.

Now, hiring a coach can speed things up ... getting on the best med (for us) can help ... but really this is where therapy is so important. People get bummed when actually they're making progress.

[Hidden]

I was also diagnosed a couple years ago at 52. I went on meds and they really improved my performance at work, but it took a couple years to get it right. I’m on medical leave right now because my symptoms are all over the place right now and I can’t effectively perform my job. I’m investing all my time learning more about ADHD and tools to control symptoms better. My worst right now is procrastinating, emotional control (most feedback is negative) and my memory is shot. Following verbal instructions without writing them down is a disaster for me. My husband was also recently diagnosed and started Adderall this week. He’s also in a much better place now too, but he’s still adjusting to the med and talks non-stop, even following me around the house talking. I finally had to tell him I needed some quiet time, as I was getting irritable. My point is communicate. I understand what’s going on, be honest with yourself and how you feel.

As for being structured or having a routine, it helps. Before I was diagnosed I had no idea that most of the way I do things is related to ADHD. Start slow. Make a list that has 2-3 things you want to get done that day and then break each one down into steps if necessary. That way the task doesn’t seem so big and you know where to start. Last, don’t be hard on yourself if you didn’t get something done. Put that on the top of your list to accomplish for tomorrow and move on. I am my worst critic.

[Sharkweek178]

I've found that a bullet journal can be very helpful with organizing my life. Problem is that it doesn't work if I don't use it. I should refer to it several times a day. But I go days at a time without looking at it. I don't know what to do about it.

[wtfadhd]

Hi porcupin- this article helped me.i couldnt forward the whole article so here is the screenshot that you would have to google.

it talks about how us ADHD folks try to use a neurotypical owners manual and it just doesnt work for us over the long run. maybe it will resonate with you too

ADHD article.

[ArtyBrain in reply to wtfadhd]

Thanks !