Sometimes I am so fed up with my adhd. Whenever I say or do something as a result of my lack of attention in the moment it is difficult not to feel ashamed of myself. I tend to say to myself: "you do not cheat anyone. You do not have adhd, you are just stupid" Sometimes I consider my condition as an easy fix for someone who is essentially dumb. I wish I was smarter, that my working memory worked better and my attention did not wander whenever I needed the most. Sometimes this ability to hyper focus, which is sold as a superpower of adhd people, does not help at all. I wish I was able to hyperfocus less and have a more constant focus. But it is the way it is. Sometimes it is difficult to accept, though. I guess I have to embrace my condition but some days is easier than others.
fed up with adhd: Sometimes I am so fed... - CHADD's Adult ADH...
fed up with adhd
I so feel this. Sometimes I would give just about anything to be "normal", until I remember that there really isn't such a thing...but at least to not have ADHD. Having only been diagnosed in the last year, I'm doing my best to adjust to knowing my own "brand" of ADHD, but it's a struggle. I'm tired of feeling like my family pays the price for my unconventional brain. I can focus on my VA business until the cows come home, but to sit and have a long conversation with one of my daughter's can be painful because I'm constantly having to corral my thoughts to try to stay in the moment. I don't have any counsel or advice to give, I just wanted you to know I'm empathetic. Some days I love the hyper-focus, some days I wish I could just stay engaged in a normal conversation like others do. I'm having the kind of week that means I'm with you on this right now. I hope, for both of us, that we can find a way to accept and embrace the fact that this is what we live with - but that day isn't today for me.
Preach on. We are your people and we totally get it. Some days feel fine, other days I question the effectiveness of even trying. One step at a time though...
A lot of us feel this way. I have severe ADHD, and I am looking for things every day. I get to the point that if I have to look for one more thing today, I'm going to have a conniption fit. You aren't stupid, ADHD has nothing to do with your intelligence. I will say the smarter you are, the harder ADHD is and accepting you have something that will affect the rest of your life, is not easy. You will only be able to really pay attention to what you're interested in. I never lived up to my potential, not even close, but that doesn't mean you can't.
We rarely hyper focus on the right thing, so most of our hyper focus is just wasted time I agree with you. I wish every day that I was stricken with another disorder, I have Asperger's as well. I would give a leg, maybe both, if my ADHD would magically go away.
Get a good med and try listening to some ADHD podcasts that will give tips and whatnot to make living with this a bit easier. Look up Russel Barkley on YouTube, seriously, he explains every facet of this disorder and tells you a lot that you will trouble accepting. I can't say how important the Russel Barkley videos are. For instance, people with ADHD will only mature to a 21-year-old level some less but never over 21 which means we have mentalities of 21-year-old. The mentality has nothing to do with intelligence or performance. Good Luck, you can be and do whatever you want, and as you get older you will accept it more and develop coping strategies.