I don’t know exactly how or when this idea popped in my head. Some Internet black hole dropped the hint one day. Then it struck me later that this might be me and the research began.
I imagine it’s mild compared to some of the struggles I have read about but I don’t think discredits my experiences.
And yes, I’m seeing someone tomorrow to discuss this possibility.
I’m absolutely mind blown how many things seem to describe my (blessed) life. From parents and school teachers, “you’re smart but you’re lazy” to yearly work reviews “struggles to complete projects”. Or being completely unable to navigate my car when the kids are making any noise. Or struggling with having the right motivation.
Oh I’m 39. And have been on antidepressants for 21 years. And I divorced.
But my bigger dysfunctions are with relationships. I forget what is asked of me. I’ve been told “if you cared you would have done it”. I suck at maintaining friendships. And worse of all I snap at my kids, who in all likelihood are struggling to find their way through life with similar issues that I had. They struggle with emotional regulation too.
Anyway. I have no point. Im just saying hi. Im very excited to maybe understand myself much better and to be a part of community. Thanks for taking the time to read and share back.