raising a ADHD and ODD 11 year old daughter. i am in need of support and help

[angelma422]

my 11 year old daughter was diagnosed ADHD two years ago. she has never took medication we tried therapy.. things never seem to stick. she is ana amazingly bright young lady. funny ambitious kind and caring. however, this last year. she was ADHD and ODD. and life at home is so hard. communication is almost impossible. her and my husband hate eachother i think. i feel like her feelings are always hurt she thinks i hate her. getting her to do anything the smallest of things can sometimes take hours. she doesnt quit arguing long enough to listen to anything. cant remember to do anything but remembers the craziest things from the past. it effects everyone. however she doesnt have these issues at her dads or anywhere else. she was prescribed medication but its literally 400 dollars to fill.. with insurance. ive got therapy scheduled but missing school and work is also something i cant afford. i am just at my wits end. i hate this feeling i know i cant be alone Ive tried to rewards praising .. she doesnt care about anything to stick or work with one thing. i just dont know what to do

[Jjflash]

Hiya Angelma,I know its difficult for the family but for someone who's had this all my life,my main concern is with your daughter. She's 11,I bet she's struggling so much with everything, she probably has no idea how to better herself cos internally,she's having a hard time.So when anyone has a go at her,she's probably on edge anyway so she'll be snappy.She probably just wants to be like all other kids her age but she knows she struggles so much more with everyday tasks.If she could speak to someone who understands her properly, then she might not feel so alone.I know you want to help but if too much pressure is on her,she could really withdraw.I hope you can find a solution for the whole family.Remember,because she doesn't do all you tell her to does not mean she's lazy or anything. She's just wired up differently.I hope I've not offended you with my comments but when your life seems to be struggling in every facet,how do you think your poor daughter feels.All the best with everything.

[angelma422 in reply to Jjflash]

Thank you very much appreciated. I didn't mean for this to come off as if I was just ragging her. Her thoughts and feelings are very much my biggest concern. The main reason I don't inforce discipline as much as some might. I try to understand and talk and communicate but sometimes the smallest what should be easiest conversations are the hardest. It will be okay and we will get through this one day. Thank you for the advice

[Jjflash in reply to angelma422]

Hi again,I know I was hard on you.As the head of the family,all you want is for your kids to be happy and healthy.It just brings the situation back to my childhood.Its a headscratcher,its difficult to know how to broach subjects.Im 52 now and never been put on any meds.I really hope you find some way to ease everybody's worries.Again,I'm sorry for being hard on you.You sound like you're a lovely family.I hope you get your peace as a family.All the very best.x

[DefinitionReclaimed]

Hi angelma422 . Have you looked into whether or not there is a Patient Assistance Programs (PAP) for the $400 prescribed medication that you mentioned? I provided some links to information on PAPs for several ADHD medications in reply to another post on this forum (see: healthunlocked.com/adult-ad... ). If whichever medication she was prescribed isn't listed there in my reply, you can also search the website I linked to (needymeds.org/ ) to see what sort of financial assistance options exist for your daughter's medication. Since you mentioned having insurance, be sure to look at the "Insurance Status" field under the "Eligibility Requirements" heading for the PAPs for your (/her) prescription. Some will say "Must have no coverage for the requested medication," while others will say "May have insurance." Hopefully, you can find an option that will make her medication affordable, because it sounds like the difficulty settings on her brain (/life) have been cranked up way too high to be managed without assistance. 🙂

[angelma422 in reply to DefinitionReclaimed]

Thank you very much! This will help so much