Help with discipline

[Youa]

My daughter was diagnosed with ADHD at 6. She's now 8. I'm wondering what other parents have done as far as discipline and accountability. Note* she is medicated in the mornings 10mg which usually wears off when she gets home from school. I've tried natural consequence, a rewards system, educating, taking away privileges but they haven't been very effective or if they are, it's short lived. The only thing I've found to be effective is when I'm spending time with her every minute of every day as soon as she's out of school. Basically keeping her entertained which limits her chances of doing something impulsively that she shouldnt be doing. But it's not sustainable. I'm a single mother and exhausted. I also try to focus on the good feelings when she does win a game without playing unfair or when shes being helpful. I give her lots of praises and encouragement. It just doesnt seem to be sticking. She complains and gets upset very easily which makes things unenjoyable. Even when we're doing something she wants to do. I just want to help and support her and see her succeed. It's heartbreaking when I set a reward and she doesn't make it cause she'll get upset and want to get physical or she'll sneak in screen time when I'm not looking and then lie about it. I always give her plenty of chances to correct herself. Is this something I have to just ride out until she's become more mature? I'm just feeling defeated and helpless. Thanks for listening and your support.

[JamB11]

check out the parent behavioral training from ADHD Dude. It was the best thing we ever did.

adhddude.com/membership?gad...

[Youa in reply to JamB11]

Thank you! I definitely will.

[Mamamichl]

my daughter is almost 11, and she is doing better now that she has other kids she can play with more independently. It does get better with some things. My kid is starting puberty, so the attitude has ramped up, but she is more able to entertain herself. Positive reinforcements have helped, though my kid isn’t earned her allowance in 3 weeks. She hs a reward system for good behavior and sometimes it works, when she is in the mood to. Negatives usually have her with meltdown behaviors, so we are trying to get her medicated.

From my personal experience, my negative thoughts and meltdowns happen a lot less often with medication and therapy. It allows me to choose what to focus on, so we are going to try that route with my daughter because dad and brother have had similar experiences with meds and therapy as well.

[lucybow]

Your struggle truly speaks to me as I am also a single mom and parent of a child with ADHD and it has been a consistent challenge. My son is now 16 but when he was younger he also required a ton of supervision or he would break things or kick holes in his walls, which cost me monetarily and emotionally. I have to say that I ended up allowing a lot of iPad screen time (video games) as there was no way I could provide 100% supervision as I had to work and manage the house. One thing that did help is involving many activities as he would allow, and that would accept him. For example, he played which he really enjoyed, parkour, craft classes, etc. He also was a huge Lego enthusiast so that was a plus.

In terms of discipline, kids with ADHD do not respond to discipline like their Neurotypical counterparts. Kids with ADHD work better using a collaborative problem-solving model approach, which engages them in actively coming up with strategies and solutions for their difficulties. I highly recommend checking out Dr. Ross Greene CPS model livesinthebalance.org. His plan B method has worked wonders in our home as my son really appreciates being part of find solutions to his problems rather than me deciding for him. Good luck!