Anxiety-What I learned and what is it?

[Onthemove1971]

Happy holidays everyone..

I have been on this journey a long time. I always thought that Anxiety was the fear/nervousness about something..

I recently learned that it is not having the ability to realistically realize something and then also not being able to deal with it.

Here is an example from our life: our son has a extreme phobia to needles. While there are certain things he can force himself to do- vaccines ( only certain ways-drive through in a car is the best for him), dental procedures ( he can't see the needle). Now when we talk about blood draws there is no way he will do it, I would have to get nurses to hold him down., like I had to do when he was little.

So if he has anxiety-- he has a complete mental breakdown over blood draws and he is unable to handle doing it.

I guess the reason I am bringing this up is that we have always just been treating his ADHD and not anxiety. While all of his doctors know about the fear of needles, not sure we have treated his anxiety.

Does anyone else have a different understanding on what Anxiety is? I also assume having ADHD, at least the "hyperfocus" part makes it hard to not have anxiety?

Just wondering how everyone else deals with Anxiety.. Do you treat the anxiety and not the ADHD?

Thanks

[GhostOrchid]

My son (12) and daughter (10) both suffer from anxiety. My son takes Lexapro in addition to his ADHD meds. It seems to work well for him. My daughter’s anxiety got so bad she was begging me to homeschool her. We started her on ADHD meds along with talk therapy and have seen a huge improvement in the last month. It is my understanding that sometimes ADHD meds can amplify anxiety and sometimes it can help with anxiety…it depends on the source of anxiety. For instance, if you are anxious because you are falling behind on schoolwork or your peers make fun of you because you can’t sit still, ADHD meds should help with anxiety.

I used to work with a guy that had to take Valium an hour before any visit with the dentist. Do you think there is something your son’s dr might prescribe for visits involving vaccines or blood draws? Valium might be a bit much, but maybe there is something milder he could take the few times a year that needles are involved?

[Onthemove1971 in reply to GhostOrchid]

Thanks for your message. Yes, he takes medication for certain procedures. But it is a challenge because of addition. Many doctors don't want to risk him becoming addicted to the feel that the medication gives him when he needs it. We have done years of talk therapy around needles and nothing helps. I think going forward as an adult his voice will have to be louder about this.

I guess what I will say is if anyone has a child with fears that are over the top and they are not able to deal with it in a reasonable manner, that anxiety needs to be considered.

Thanks for chiming in on this.

[GhostOrchid in reply to Onthemove1971]

Both of my grandfathers were alcoholics and several cousins are additcted to drugs, so I completely understand the concerns over addiction. It often runs in families so I have anxiety over all the medications I give my kids for this very reason. We just switched pediatritians to see if there are better options for my son. He was on 5 different meds! This also caused me to delay the start of ADHD meds for my daughter. Had I known that the ADHD was contributing to her anxiety, I would have started her medication shortly after the ADHD diagnosis last year.

[Aspen797]

Your post is so apt right now. We are noticing more anxiety as our son gets older but haven’t moved toward (ongoing) medicating for it specifically yet. Fear of needles is the biggest one! We haven’t found a solution either. Like you, we don’t want the use of a benzodiazepine to get through these situations to be the default. He did take one once—for a blood draw. His psychiatrist said that repeated exposures will reduce anxiety and that he may need help initially. I don’t know. The need for these things is spread out enough that I’m not sure that just relying on exposure and meds will work to reduce his anxiety. Anyway, all this to say I hear you and feel you and am sending hugs. We will keep looking for solutions….

[Onthemove1971 in reply to Aspen797]

Thanks! It is wonderful to be heard. Do you know about the buzzyBee? It is a device for kids who have needle fears. It used vibration and I think cooling to help with injections. I was told Amazon sells it.

Thanks again.. this stuff is so challenging.

Have a great holidays.

[Aspen797 in reply to Onthemove1971]

Yes! We have tried the Buzzy Bee but the situation wasn’t ideal. The pharmacist giving the shot thought it would be better talk about self-confidence a bit first and the coldness wore off and our son put it away feeling a bit childish with the whole confidence talk. He got the shot but it took over 30 minutes.

For the blood draw we did a lidocaine compress for 30 minutes prior and he could feel nothing touching his skin. He thought this most helpful. We have also had others recommend that during the shot you have competing physical input. Tightening and relaxing different muscle groups on your own or even having someone else squeeze your other arm or leg. We haven’t tried this yet.

Unfortunately, for our son the biggest issue is the anticipation. After a shot he says it wasn’t that bad, but that remembrance doesn’t carry forward to lessen his anxiety the next time—6 months or a year later.

Hopefully more nasal vaccines will be coming, but blood draws? You got me.

Happy Holidays to you and your family too!

[Onthemove1971 in reply to Aspen797]

We must have twins outs is the same after he like that was easy. But he is the one to escape out the backdoor running if he knows it's coming. Sad to hear about the buzzybee.. I had high hopes. I know the device seems like it is only for a younger child.