Advise : my son has an IEP for... - CHADD's ADHD Pare...

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srstarkey1 profile image
13 Replies

my son has an IEP for emotional cognitive delay .. he is 6 years on and in 1st grade . He has been diagnosed with adhd and anxiety, both of which he takes medication for. He has been struggling the last couple weeks with handling his anger reactions. He can get so upset over some of the littlest things.

The school tries to remove him from the situation, during this he will usually take it out on the adults with name calling and such. He usually gets taken to a room in the office till he can compose himself.

Im looking for anything that can help me help him make through the school day without being sent home early

13 Replies
Onthemove1971 profile image

Thanks for sharing your situation with us. Medication should be taking care of 60% of behaviors related to ADHD. If it is not then maybe an adjustment needs to be made. It is really an.trial.and error. We really benefited from working with a child psychiatrist. Not only finding the correct type of medication, but knowing the best time to give the medication and the best dose. We have changed doses as our child grew and what worked best for us was him taking both a stimulant and non-stimulant medication to help control his behavior. The stimulant for us reduces impulsive behaviors and the non-stimulant helped with mood ( especially anger issues) and focus. Our son needed both and it was not until we saw someone that was very skilled at manging things. She also helped me advocate for things he needed and was willing to write me a letter to to the 504 plan that really changed things. I wonder if the school has a behavior specialist that could help to team better understand his behavior and put in place tools to help him and the school setting.

It is wonderful you are starting young and hope he can get help controlling his behavior.

Best to you and so glad you are asking great questions to improve this long journey.

Take care!

srstarkey1 profile image
srstarkey1 in reply to Onthemove1971

he does see a therapist type lady .. I couldn’t tell u her exact title but does a lot of play therapy and focuses on how he reacts to situations.

My son takes a total of 4 medications right now

Morning : sertraline & Concerta

After school: methylphenidate

Night : guanafacine, which was added to kind of help with those mood swings.

Right now it’s just teaching him to control those 0 to 60 emotions and right now we are really really struggling with that because he has a very black-and-white type personality and he struggles with that gray area. So I don’t know how to help him get a better grasp on those emotions.

Onthemove1971 profile image
Onthemove1971 in reply to srstarkey1

You have done so much for him already.. I know this will be hard to hear, but some things take time so they can gain some maturity. I promise you it will not always be this hard...

I of course don't want to add "one more thing" since you guys have all been working so hard.

But have you seen the emotion regulation chart? It's easy to find on Google. But it goes by color for the emotions. So for really unhappy is shown in red and so on. I wonder if everyone school, home etc. Can try something like that to visually show him about emotions.. he is young so trying something like that may help..

Just want to give you a big.. big.. hug and let you know that as he gets older things should not be as hard since you have things in place now. Maturity is one part of the magic for kids with ADHD...sorry there is no timeline for this.

Also.. I know it is hard but really celebrate his victory steps..

Thanks for sharing, we are all right there with you on this journey.

srstarkey1 profile image
srstarkey1 in reply to Onthemove1971

thank you ! I know how maturity plays a large role in his behavior.. the school can be so hard to deal with when it comes to that part of things

Onthemove1971 profile image
Onthemove1971 in reply to srstarkey1

Sorry about that but once he starts seeing success the team should turn around. Everyone wants the best for him.. he doesn't want to misbehave. I remember how hard it was when our son would be off to bed and had a hard day and no matter what I would always tell him I love him...

srstarkey1 profile image
srstarkey1 in reply to Onthemove1971

thank you so much very re assuring

Imakecutebabies profile image

I agree with Onthemove; you may want to try adjusting his medication and looking into the Zones of Regulation. You could also look into Occupational Therapy for social/ emotional skills.

SurvivorFan profile image

We just went through something very similar. My son is 7 and in 1st grade with adhd and anxiety. He takes Focalin, guanfacine (am and pm), fluxoteine and we just recently added on hydroxyzine for school days. He was doing what you mentioned above since starting 1st grade except of name calling was acting like godzilla and throwing things at kids,teachers, climbing the windows, etc. I had teacher phone calls, early pick up, and even one half day suspension 😥

We ended up increasing his Focalin a bit and adding on hydroxyzine. He takes the hydroxyzine right before school starts and another one before lunch/recess starts. It's a short acting for anxiety. Doing those 2 adjustments changed everything around. We also added on a special job he gets to do at end of day for good behavior (putting out all the parent pick up cones.)

I hope you can find some relief for the both of you. I know how much it hurts watching them struggle and getting all the daily phone calls.

anirush profile image

My grandson is 16 and we have battled the anger issue for years. Medication and therapy seem to help and then he has a growth spurt and we are back to square one. He doesn't get violent and break things anymore but he will yell and call people names.

He goes to school at home because of severe anxiety.

In middle school he took a social skills class which really helped.

His therapist does sessions to help him learn how to handle situations.

His psychiatrist tells him that his reactions will become habit of he doesn't learn to control his emotions.

He should have something in his IEP that allows him to leave the room and go to a nurse or counselor office if he is overwhelmed. Good luck

Aspen797 profile image

There is a great story on the issue you are describing —informal removals from school due to behavior—here:

I agree with others posters on maturity and skill building with an OT, but it is also true that IDEA requires a functional behavioral assessment and development of a behavioral intervention plan when behavior is interfering with learning. If a child is repeatedly removed due to behavior, it is because the plan is not working and needs to be revisited.

A great author who speaks a lot about anxiety manifesting as defiance is Jessica Minahan. See Oftentimes with careful observation, staff can learn the triggers or reinforcers (including avoidance) and teach a replacement behavior that helps the child get their needs met in a socially appropriate way.

Onthemove1971 profile image
Onthemove1971 in reply to Aspen797

I love this group!! Thanks for the link, I could really learn a lot from this author. After more than 15 years and a Master's Degree I have never been taught what she writes about (helping with work avoidance, teaching kids who struggle with anxiety, etc.), now I just need hot tea and hours to read.

Thanks for sharing.

Aspen797 profile image
Aspen797 in reply to Onthemove1971

Time and tea—love it! I’ve learned so much from this group too. Such a great forum with such great insights!

srstarkey1 profile image
srstarkey1 in reply to Aspen797

thank you i will definitely look into those links. We finally did have an IEP meeting and will be making adjustments to help him not get behind

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