I just want sleep...for everyone

[SylvieS]

Sometimes it feels like I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in eight years. I used to be a great sleeper. Then I became pregnant and had restless legs and was just uncomfortable. Then I had a baby. I was told he should sleep through the night at 3-6 months. Ha! Here we are 7 years later and most nights my son still doesn’t sleep through the night. Sometimes it is growing pains. Sometimes night terrors. Sometimes he has had an accident and sometimes he is just lonely and wants company. Self-soothing is not something my son has ever gotten the hang of.

I have literally tried everything. I read every sleep book written I’m pretty sure. But no matter what he was up every 2 hours and wouldn’t fall back to sleep without someone there holding his hand. I have a high-stakes job and had to start taking medication to help me function during the day on inadequate sleep. Eventually (and way later than we should have) we took my son to a sleep specialist and he was diagnosed with sleep apnea and had his tonsils removed and that did help.

I wish we had done it 5 years earlier. Instead of waking up every 2 hours it is usually once or twice a night now. Sometimes he actually makes it through the night. I have since learned that a high percentage of kids with sleep apnea are diagnosed with ADHD. Interestingly my son became more hyperactive after the tonsils came out-the doctors thought it was because he wasn’t exhausted anymore. I wish I could say the same! Even when my son makes it through the night, I am so conditioned to wake up that I do anyway.

Unfortunately he also has terrible trouble falling asleep. We tried melatonin which works like magic but the sleep physician recommended we not use it regularly over concerns of hormonal effects. So we have a consistent bedtime routine with reading and quiet time. We have also tried meditation, white noise, music, baths, no screen time, heavy exercise, pushing bedtime back, restless leg treatment, cosleeping, and tough love. Some of it works for a while but usually it takes him at least an hour to fall asleep and sometimes two! And the whole time he is restless.

I actually dread the evenings now. My best nights have been when I am away for a conference sleeping blissfully alone in a hotel. I know it will get better and he will eventually not need me as much at night but I want it now! I am seeking patience in this as in all things ADHD.

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Sleep is SO IMPORTANT and so HUGS. My daughter takes abilify for her bipolar which helps tremendously to get her to sleep. I am so glad he is sleeping better. I totally understand the job thing though. If I can't get sleep I'm loopy and then I have to concentrate harder and then I'm more exhausted and the cycle just continues. I think for all of us the worry is a problem too. I find myself so anxious to get her to get dinner done, homework, showered, into bed and asleep that once she is asleep I'm a ball of anxiety and my mind is just racing. So then I just do research or mindlessly stare at the T.V. for two hours. It's a vicious, vicious cycle!

[AngelamarieQ]

I think we all go through that phase of sleep deprivation due to our child having ADHD or yourself having ADHD, or both, like in our case 😒

I was given my daughter melatonin for about 1 year, but now she refuses to take it. So, I started using essential oils with a diffuser and it’s working really good. I bought the serenity oil from Doterra and both, my daughter and myself, are sleeping better. Our little dog is also knocked out with this aromatherapy 😆

You have a lot of stress and need to release it in order to sleep well.

See if you can do some meditation with your son before going to bed and place a diffuser in each bedroom. It relaxes you and promotes sleeps. If it doesn’t work, at least you spent some quality relaxing time with your son and the room smells good.

Ah, I forgot, I also use the serenity blend in a roller and apply it to my daughter’s feet and neck. She loves the aromatherapy and she wakes up in a better mood too. I also apply the motivate oil in the morning and she is ready and willing to go to school. I have seen a big change in her attitude and mood. So, for me, it’s been a

Blessing. 🙏

Best of luck!

[MunchkinMommy537 in reply to AngelamarieQ]

Please be careful with essential oils and pets. You might already know this, but some essential oils are toxic for them. For dogs, toxic essential oils include:

Pennyroyal oil

Pine oils

Tea tree oil

Wintergreen

They don’t sweat like we do, so there’s no way for them to rid their bodies of the oils.

[AngelamarieQ in reply to MunchkinMommy537]

Yes, I was told the pine tree oil. This is more info to add. Thank you for the tip!

[MunchkinMommy537]

You said he had a sleep study done before he had his tonsils removed; has he had one since? Sleep apnea could still be the problem since many people continue to have it without their tonsils. Also, you don’t mention a spouse or partner, so I assume you are alone? Have you considered hiring a night nanny? People with babies do it, so I don’t see why you couldn’t have one for your son.

[Janice_H]

Hi Sylvie, wow! I thought my son was bad. He never slept well since birth. It took about 2 years for him to fall asleep on his own and stay asleep. It generally took over an hour for him to doze, then he would wake up within 90 minutes. I suffered from sleep deprivation for well over 2 years. I don't know how I made it through.

Is your son taking medication for the ADHD? Many times they are so wired up from the condition it affects sleep. If you have friends or family who can allow your son to sleep over in order for you to rest it would make a difference in how you feel.