Hit a Wall

[senojshel]

Hi,

Any tips on how to balance maintaining your own health and managing your child. I didn’t realize how exhausted I was of this past school year until it was over. The calls home, the appointments, the suspensions...yikes! Now I’m finding myself not able to sleep sufficiently, and anxious about next school year already—it hasn’t even started! He’s also had problems at summer camp already too...I need to make sure my mental and physical health are in tact to help my son be his best. He was just diagnosed this school year, so it’s been a ride. What to do? Thanks for your help.

[StrongLove]

Unfortunately you have just described my EXACT situation! Unbelievable. I have found you need support. From friends or counselors. I will say family and friends tend to say ADHD does not exist or all the child needs is more discipline etc. so be sure to surround yourself with people that not only understands your circumstances but may also have has to live your circumstances. I had my child in 504 and now he is in an IEP. We are our child’s most important advocates. They are misunderstood and mistreated by their peers and sadly some adults. So I have found the true meaning of unconditional love. My child and I formed what we call the “rainbow pact” and whenever we both feel like we both are both at our wits end he or I will remind each other of this pact of unconditional love. And it has yet to fail to resolve the most trying situations.

Back to you though rest! Find it. Get it and make sure you have regular doctor appointments. I made that mistake and ended up in urgent care. If your health fails you can’t be there to support your family. Also find quiet time daily and look forward to those quiet moments. It will get you through day to day. It’s hard. Very hard but the fact that you found this group and are sharing your story shows how determined you are to keep going and be healthy!

In a similar situation,

ADHDmom

[senojshel in reply to StrongLove]

Thank you!

[ZosMom in reply to StrongLove]

Love the rainbow pact idea!

[bambi0]

I'm in agreement with strong love. I'm where you are senojshel. I was so happy it was summer! My phone would finally stop! No more texts from his teacher... No more calls from the principal... No more leaving work to pick him up so he didn't get suspended or expelled... I could come home and breathe... For at least 5 min a day!! But then summer school started... I'm at my wits end... My son starts middle school next year and I've cried thinking about it. I've been in your shoes n still wear them occasionally cuz i can't find my own... Strong love is so right tho! You have to make time for u! Take care of u! If you are not there... Who will be? I've found we really are all our child has... My own roommate who has known my son since he was 1 constantly tells me I'm a crap parent n need to discipline him more n he wouldn't act like he does. My son's dad always tells me I'm the reason he is the way he is... Cuz i messed him up... Im constantly fighting with them about him. N it just makes me more down! But I'm all he has n i have to keep myself going n strong or there will be no-one here for him. As much as he exhausts me n wears me down daily i know there's no better advocate than me. But i also knew i was losing my mind. And like u did... I reached out! We joined this group! We did a great thing coming here and reaching out. We can only take one day at a time. N u will see as i have in the very short time I've been on this site that we all have very similar stories n some will sound like they are your own to the T. U need support n that's what this site is for! You have taken a wonderful step in staying healthy for your child and that makes you an amazing parent!! And as you are a parent u know u cannot survive without worry n stress... At least now u have us to help you through it!

[senojshel in reply to bambi0]

Thank you—a million times over!

[Pennywink]

For me, I find getting enough sleep (for my son & myself) is really a make it-or-break it factor for us, which can be really challenging. Sometimes for myself, I employ some of the calming techniques for my son - mindfulness activities, calming glitter bottles, changing sleep locations, no screens 2 hours before bedtime, consistent bedtime in a cozy dark quiet place (meaning before my snoring husband falls asleep), and never ever looking at the clock after I lay down for bed (until the sun comes up.) Sometimes it takes a few nights to get back into the swing of things.

[dubstepMaul]

hi senojshel, boy I sure do remember feeling like that. My child is an adult now (still has some issues but that's a story for another day). When I was in the thick of it, I saw a therapist for awhile just to keep my sanity. She gave me one wonderful piece of advice: Every day for 20 minutes do something fun just for yourself. It can be anything at all, as long as it is something you enjoy.

Good luck to you, you are not alone.