Bored & overwhelmed

[teen_anxiety]

I got a problem I have too many conflicting problems? (now I see what my friend means when he says I send out mixed feelings 🤔💭) I'm bored, focused (for short bursts of time), unable to get back to focus, do not wanna waste my time better spent on HW (still at 6:40 pm (*I know) I am open to new ideas so I can get more out of studying for less time), but I want to talk to people, and I also kinda do not want people around!!! This is something I deal with on a daily and I am unable to figure it out. I lost my motivation (pretty much entirely) for the first 3 days this week (it made HW a struggle to get done and I sorta fell behind) but then yesterday and this morning were amazing and I was really focused and on track. until now, I am back to the norm not bad like the beginning of this week and not super amazing like yesterday and this morning. Focus is slipping and I am getting overwhelmed by what I have to finish today and tomorrow to be able to have a break from HW on Sunday for the first time this quarter. Oh and on top of that, I want people to talk to me, msg me anything but doubt I would feel like talking/explaining/interacting. UUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!! literally, help me, someone I am just confused and all over the place right now. Ok bye back to HW. (PLS respond)

[Hidden]

Hello.

It sounds to me like you really need a break! Is it nearly the end of term/semester?

Try being old fashioned and call someone for a chat! You don’t have to talk, just ask a few questions and let them rant on about themselves. 😀

In terms of focus, give yourself regular breaks and take a 5 minute walk outside. Even if you don’t want to, and it feels silly. It will get your body moving and give your mind and your eyes a break. Try doing that mid-morning, at lunch and mid-afternoon. (Really. I’m 48 and I run/walk up and down the road with my 12 year old. It’s ridiculous, but it helps us both. )

And plan something to look forward to. It’s difficult I know, but you can be creative, a Mexican themed dinner, with music, a zoom quiz - whatever suits you.

What you’re describing sounds completely normal to me, especially towards the end of a long month or two of study, and in these difficult times.

But things will get better. I’m sure we are nearer the end than the beginning of the pandemic now. And you’re doing ok, you’re getting it done. 🙂

[teen_anxiety in reply to Hidden]

It's about mid-quarter and I have been zooming one friend a night for just five mins a night so that helps. I use the promodoro technique but don't do much more than dance around during my break so I will try your advice and just take one walk around the block each break. I don't have control over a lot because I am still only 16 so I can not plan much to look forward to. thanks for your encouragement and advice it is very helpful and knowing someone cared enough to respond makes me feel better in its own weird way.

[Hidden in reply to teen_anxiety]

You’re not alone. Many people are struggling, but it sounds like you are being sensible and taking care of yourself.

It’s hard to share with your family sometimes as you don’t want to stress them out too.

I’m glad I was able to help a little. 🙂

[FriendlyDude]

One thing I’ve noticed about a lot of things in opposition (not all though) is that if you hold to one, the other will eventually let up. Both will still be present but it’s similar to having 2 animals, if you only feed the one you want to keep then the other will ‘die’ of hunger, while the one you feed will grow stronger. It’s a matter of deciding what you want, and how to feed it rather than the other. You know you need to study and do your homework, so you can begin to work on growing the things that support a desire to do so.

Similar to animals we need more than just food. We need water and nutrients. The need to study and complete homework is up the mind, representing the ‘food’ while your motivation and focus is more like the ‘water.’ We don’t last very long without water and therefore it’s a more vital resource. Although you may have food and water, the nutrients also help to sustain life. Nutrients in the case of studying would include anything that supports your motivation/focus and desire to study. Those could be physical things, like making sure you get your food, water and nutrients (not metaphorical this time 😉), trying to get sufficient amounts of sleep, stretching, being active, etc. On an emotional and mental standpoint it could be anything that promotes a healthy mind and healthy feelings. You might do that through meditation/relaxation, deep breathing, taking breaks, healthy communication and so on. Some of the physical things can also help with the emotional and mental aspects too

So in nutshell, take what conflicting problems you have, decide what you want to improve/work on (considering need, desire, time frame, etc.) and then think about and do things that will help you progress in what you choose. If/when you have a hard time focusing, try to think about things you could do that would help you focus better.

Having a specific regular place to do your homework and studying is a good thing to have as well. Your brain will associate the location with the task you do there (homework or whatever) and so when you go there to get things done, your brain recognizes the location and gets into work mode.

I hope this helps you in some way or another do know that we care.

I wish you the best