Helping a loved one

I'm not sure if I'm in the right place, but I need help. My boyfriend broke down to me this morning. He cried in my arms and told me how upset he is: how he doesn't like himself and feels like he can't do anything right. He's constantly tired, anxious and has lost over 3 stone over the past year. I've always known that he wasn't happy in some way or another, but he showed me this morning just how much he hides it all. He told me that I was the only thing that makes him happy, so I never see the times where he is at his lowest as he always put on a happy facade. He also said that he finds it so hard to get help, although I'm not sure if he's ever actively tried to go out of his way to get it.

I really love him and want to help him, but I don't want to pressure him too much. It's evident that he doesn't want to feel the way he does but he doesn't seem to be too enthusiastic regarding getting help, as you would probably expect. I'm looking for ways that I could help to make him feel comfortable to go and see a doctor regarding his depression. I want to help him every step of the way. Thank you

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Welcome to our friendly community only-me1 you've come to the right place and how wonderful you are in your support and he's took a huge step towards his recovery by opening up to you and how heartbreaking it must of been to see him like that when we are depressed we have a very good technique way of hiding it biggest smile on our faces,very jolly, not showing any signs until it gets so bad you slip and our loved ones spot it...the first thing to do is make an appointment to see his doctor.just say to him that because of how heartbroken he was with opening up to you you feel he ought to go and see his Dr reassure him that there's no pressure you will be right there with him and you will continue to be with him every step of the way through this but tell him he needs to get better and the best way to start with is to see his Dr he needs to tell his Dr best he can on how he is feeling the Dr will more than likely give him some calming meds to take the edge off but if he does have meds he must persevere as they can take weeks to get in the system but once they in he will start to lift himself up gradually....this is a long process and it takes time but he has taken the best step by opening up to you I do hope I've helped in any way...but know he's not alone there's lots of people on here who go through exactly what he is right now he will get better just takes time

Let us know how you get on

Nat

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Thank you, I realise how important it is for him to see a doctor. What I’m worried about is how to tell him that he needs to see one. He knows he needs to get help, but he’s scared. I really don’t want to suggest to him that he should see a doctor to him in the wrong way. What happens if I scare him and he doesn’t appreciate the help? He may never open up to me again. I’m so proud to call him my boyfriend and I really don’t want to mess this up. It truly is breaking my heart

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Hi only-me1 it is very scary to go to the doctor because I think that's when it becomes reality the only way I can suggest to you is sit him down and just explain that your so happy he opened up to you and that you are with him all the way and just say to him what shall we do from here ask him if he'd want to go and see one just say theres no pressure if he don't want to go but just express to him that you think it could be a option if that's what he wants to do

Nat

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Okay, thank you. I'll try that hopefully in the next week or so. I will keep you updated with how it all goes.

Thank you again

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