Just telling my story..

[katematta]

My family has a fairly high level of cancer in our history, and more specifically skin cancer - all my mother's side of the family has had some sort of skin cancer- Melanoma, Basel cell, or Squamous cell. So needless to say I was familiar with what the typical cancers looked like so the Saturday after Thanksgiving 2017 when I had noticed a mole on my back that I had originally noticed a few month prior had gotten bigger and changed colors - I was worried. I called immediately Monday morning and got in to the doctors two weeks later where they did a biopsy immediately. On Monday December 18, 2017 I got the call from my dermatologist telling me it was Melanoma and that they were going to schedule me for my first of many skin exams and they were going to try to get me into my Oncologist as soon as possible. That Wednesday I had my first skin exam and then Thursday of the same week I met with my Oncologist. I just remember sitting in the room as she was talking and being in a haze. I remember about 1/3 of what she said that day, everything was just happening so quickly and there was so much information to absorb. My wide excision surgery was scheduled for January 16th 2018 and it was the scariest thing. Would they get it all? The entire month and a half, from diagnosis to getting my stitches out, was a complete fog. I was just going through the emotions of day to day life. Cancer. Its such a scary, awful, and powerful word to hear. Such a powerful word that strikes such emotion into anybody that hears it. I used to give blood every 3 months, once you've been diagnosed with cancer you cant get for a year after you're clear. So many life altering things from one word.

Here I am two months post op and there is no remaining melanoma, but I cannot help but fear the upcoming warmer months. I've never worn sunscreen and actually loved the warmth of my skin after a long summers day. Will I remember to apply multiple times a day? What if I get burnt? Needless to say I am still in shock even 4 months later.

Thank you all for listening. <3