The Last Straw

[catherinem]

I’ve been on a downer, whilst everybody else has been celebrating the New Year; I’ve been close to suicide. It’s been gradually building up, from the insults in Tescos, Pete’s coldness and detachment from me, not to forget the lack of Birthday or Christmas present, even if it came from Poundland, at least the thought would have been there. This coldness and detachment isn’t new, he’s physically repulsed by me, even at my best and other men look, I get rebuffed. Seriously who’d want to make love to a woman with Tourette’s, my two encounters with the two A’s leave an unpleasant taste in my mouth. Sasha is still with us, but only just, she’s due to go to the vet next week, it may be her last visit to the vet. It’s been hard seeing her decline so quickly. My endometriosis hasn’t made things any better, I’ve been in a lot of pain, I’ve been close to tears with the pain, my stomach feels hard and is painful to touch, unfortunately I’ve now run out of cocodamol. The pain isn’t isolated to part of me, my neck, back and shoulders have been getting a battering from a tic which involves twisting my head around until it cracks – just right.

I feel so tired, I’ve not long been dressed, that was a monumental undertaking, and it’s now going dark. Brushing my teeth and putting my clothes on is such an effort. I’ve got to sort myself out; I’ve just managed to muster up the energy to call the crisis team, a lot of effort fro not a lot. Even bigger still I have to make my way to Nuneaton on Wednesday to see my psychiatrist, I don’t know if I can even make it to the bus stop, I asked Pete to come with me, but as usual he declined. Going to Nuneaton on my own seems like going to the North Pole, going to Asda also will be awful; walking around Asda will be like a detour around Alaska.

Free carer’s tickets for cinema - ceacard.co.uk/

Some info with regards to free theatre tickets for carers - forum.moneysavingexpert.com... it’s basically a forum, but from what I can gather you need to inform the individual venue whilst booking you need a free ticket for a carer.