I thought that I should revert to what I intended to blog about initially rather than set off on policy related tangents. Time to write about my Habit Reversal Training and how I’m getting on. On the whole it’s been a positive experience and would recommend it to any fellow ticcer; it’s by no means a cure but a way of gaining control over my TS which is achievable. Take or example, my therapist tells me that if I develop a new tic to try and think of a suitable competing response (a less evasive tic) to perform in it’s place, I tried this last Friday, my partner and I were in this computer shop whilst he was buying geeky computer bits, I hid myself away at the back of the empty shop whilst he spoke to the sales assistant, of course naturally when it was time to leave I had that ticcy urge to shout the usual obligatory F%”$ OFF but somehow I managed to hold it in and replace it with my whistling tic, genius! Silly me, expecting some sort of congratulations from my partner I get instead “do you have to whistle all the time?” I told him what I’d done and he responded “all you need to do now is just internalise it and think it” somehow methinks he doesn’t quite get this HRT thing.
I do feel that I’ve done a good job with regards to my tricotillomania (also my HRT therapist can take a lot of credit too) although my hair’s a bit of a mess at the moment with bald bits, and strange truffty bits and shorter sections I’ve just dyed it to try and disguise the bald bits and of course my dark roots I still worry about people noticing and it’s a full time job trying to ensure that the tuffty bits don’t stick up to much, but on a plus note it’s growing back where I’ve been pulling it out.
The only problem I seem to be having is with my meds, when I saw my consultant a couple of weeks ago we spoke about my meds and the side effects that I was getting from Risperidone and that I felt that it wasn’t doing much with regards to my tics anymore. So, I’m now trying Aripiprazole, initially I was on 2.5mg per day, which as this low dose doesn’t come as a tablet I’ve had to have this awful medicine instead which after 2 slices of toast, a cup of camomile tea and brushing my teeth still leaves an after taste that tastes as though I’ve been sucking paracetemol. Apart from the disgusting taste I’ve been having trouble with the bottle….I can’t open it! When my head tic is in full spin I can’t pour it either, this is where my partner has to step in and give me my medicine like a baby. The Aripiprazole doesn’t seem to have as many side effects as the Risperidone did, it just makes me feel like I’ve got a head-cold coming on and I’ve been constantly waking during the night and tossing and turning and doesn’t do much for my tics. I’ve also turned into Little Miss Agro, constantly picking fault at him indoors and having quite violent mood swings. I forgot to mention that on the Thursday when I saw my HRT therapist my consultant just happened to be passing through the waiting room, so I spoke to him about my Aripiprazole problems, as I’ve been very ticcy, the dose gets upped to 5mg, I meant also to say “Grazie” but ended up accidentally swearing at him instead, so if he reads this, sorry. So far I’m a bit calmer, but still a mardy cow.
Saturday night, I stay in with a Father Ted box set and a mint Aero whilst him indoors goes out to see a friend’s band. I’m over the nasty blast of depression, but I don’t feel like going out if I can’t have a drink.