No gerbils. Lots of screaming.

[LittleClapham]

So I got an answer today. There are no indoor pets allowed apart from goldfish. While that is great news for Mr. Fry (my gender confused goldfish), it is not such great news for the gerbil I planned to adopt. I'm not too upset though because I can now save up for Mr. Fry's new aquarium and friend (he's so alone ) faster. He needs a bigger one because he's gone from being an inch long to being the size of a fish finger during my 8 years with him! Yes, Mr. Fry is 8 years old! Not bad eh?

I am getting more noisy tics at the moment. I don't know if it is because I went to several places which stress me out yesterday but I was screeching a lot. I also kept spinning as I walked (dizzy not good), leaning down to touch my toes and doing various kung-fu style moves. I was starting to think it would be worthwhile to print a jumper with the following words: 'DON'T PANIC! I am not mad, I have Tourettes. I won't bite... but I might sniff you...' My carer said maybe best to take the sniffing part off although that was meant to be a joke! Last night the tic build up got so bad I ended up running ticcy circles round and round the bush at the back of our garden screeching. What poor Ralph rabbit must have been thinking I don't know!

So with the gerbil fading into a mere dream (and now a tic... I have joined the ranks of gerbil ticcers!), I am now going to focus on getting myself better from my depression. I haven't really got any idea what I want to do in the future because I keep flitting from idea to idea. Blooming ADHD! I am quite interested in learning more about autism/AS, Tourettes and other conditions, but although I have no doubt I will be quite good in this area (I already know a lot) I don't have a clue what I will do with it. I am not really good with people so getting a job in psychology probably wouldn't work, and knowing me I would last about a week in a college course before deeming it 'boring' and giving up. The only things I didn't give up on were Brownies and my English GCSE re-take. I have given up on much more so I don't have much self-esteem left.

Oh crud I have ranted again! If someone actually gets through all this then congratulations!

Oh yeah and I can draw houses and stuff but I don't know what I would do with that either...

[catherinem]

Gerbil sex.

You could write a book like Temple Graundin.

[LittleClapham in reply to catherinem]

I have actually started writing a book. The trouble is that I lose concentration easily so I end up writing a really disjointed mess because I can't be bothered to read back through it! When I finally do get the thing done, my OCD goes loco and I end up deleting half of it or having to start again! Book publishing date: late 2016 if we are lucky!