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I am Bryan Ferry

I am Bryan Ferry

I don’t know if it’s just me but any vocal tics that involve words tend to fester in the head for a while until they pop out of your mouth. I have another rather strange vocal tic that is emerging, just as strange and random (but not really considering) as my propensity to shout “gerbils” (and other gerbil related variations) this one is quite delusional although it is known and obviously too that I am NOT Bryan Ferry which my ticcy brain is now wanting to introduce myself as so “I am Bryan Ferry” we all know I wasn’t in Roxy Music, I can’t sing to save my life, and I’m not a man, although it would have been cool to work with Brian Eno, I do have a pair of flannelette, leopard print pyjamas I refer to as my “Eno pyjamas” The reason this tic isn’t as random as it seems is because I do like Roxy Music, particularly their earlier stuff, I’m also a big admirer of Eno’s work so I suppose there could be some sort of route could be drawn in my head from my musician geek side of my brain to the ticcer side of my brain.

Now my head has began to settle post general anaesthetic and that I’m back to my usual ticcy self (I am Bryan Ferry) I’ve returned to the world of Habit Reversal Training, leading up to having the thing removed from my tongue I was getting increasingly ticcy adding to my usual complement of tics some retro-eye-tics (rolling, squinting, frowning just like 1986) to go with the whole 80’s revival style wave and up-coming school reunion and some right arm movements that resemble the kind of movements made by contemporary dancers expressing their inner turmoil through the medium of dance. The tic that we were working on yesterday was the “opening-my-mouth-to-see-what-I’m-eating” tic, so rather unusually scoffing a bar of chocolate was part of this session, so now, after about 2-3 chews I get the urge to open my mouth, instead of just letting my mouth open revealing half-chewed food I try and purse my lips, whilst still chewing. Now I have to remember to do this whilst eating, it worked to some extent yesterday whilst eating my dinner, but these things take a bit of time and practice. Since starting HRT I feel much more in control of my TS and I feel that I understand my TS much better, now when a new tic turns up I sort of analyse it, asking myself how it affects me, how it could impact on other people, (e.g. put other people off their food) but mainly how it impacts on me, does it hurt, does it stop me from doing something essential and could I injure myself or somebody else? I have found it very helpful to have my own copy of the “Adult Workbook” so I can refer to it for ideas to create a competing response (alternative movement) to a new tic. There is a useful list of tics and suggested competing responses in the book, it’s quite long so I’m not going to write it now, but if you would like me to include it in a blog post I can do that.

The trichotillomania has been pretty much quashed over last few weeks, the reason being I’ve been knitting at quite a frenzied pace, I’m becoming much better, tackling bigger and more complex projects, I’ve nearly finished a cardigan for myself, and knitted a whole selection of baby articles. I spent about ¾ of a hour or maybe longer in Rackham’s in Birmingham (is it still called that or just House of Fraser) in the haberdashery department (is that what heaven is like?) sniffing (yes, sniffing) balls of wool, the best to smell was Rowan, Cocoon, lovely and soft with an earthy, lanolin, proper woolly smell. I lack self discipline and bought some lovely grey/brown linen yarn (smells gorgeous) ready for my next project which is a tunic type top for me. I also have a “thing” for buttons, I like buttons, there’s something quite therapeutic rummaging through containers full of buttons, I once bought a bag of vintage buttons in a antique shop, some of them I used, most of them live in a tin and I get them out to look at them occasionally. Back to Rackhams, yes, they have a selection of buttons, I have chosen the ones I want for my cardigan, little mother of pearl, flower shaped buttons. I will be back; to purchase the right number of buttons I the right size and sniff more balls of wool.

1 Reply

you made me smile about the buttons. I too like buttons & it took me back to my mums tin she still has i think. It's a very small quality street tin, one with the lady in the crinoline dress & the soldier. I used to spend a lot of time playing with them buttons. One of my favourite ones was quite a large black button with kind of raised wavy ridges on it, topped with gold along the top of the ridges. It seemed very special to me for some reason alongside a few others. Mother of pearl ones & I like the insect ones you get for children's ones too.Thanks for reminding me, X