Sometimes I am blind but usually I see...

[LittleClapham]

The eyes are going insane. I am very surprised that I have not got a detached retina or something because of the amount my eyes roll into my head. The eye rolling was my first tic although it wasn't this severe back then. I did find a solution to the eye problem when I was put in the RNIB college (heaven knows why!). A little white cane. Okay so I am not blind or visually impaired and I pray I never will be but the little white stick with a ball on the end proved to be my one companion when out travelling independently. I always felt awkward with the stick though, knowing that I was not blind, but without it things are difficult.

Today I went on my day trip to Cambridge. This is usually quite incident free and mostly involves me trying to curb my enthusiasm for licking lamp posts (a compulsion I hasten to add!) and hugging every person who walks past me. Today though I have bumped into so many people and nearly ran three people down as my eyes rolled back, clamped shut and my legs made a mad dash for it towards a protruding bit of wall which I proceeded to touch four times on both sides... Unfortunately there were several of these protruding bits of wall and I kept running over to them, sometimes with my eyes open, mainly shut.

So why didn't I use the cane you ask? I no longer have it is the answer to that. My previous manager claimed that I didn't need it so I was forced to throw it in the bin (it was slightly damaged so no good for anyone else). Ever since, I have been a nervous wreck out in public when my eye tics start. Like I said they are constant and I have counted up to two minutes at a time having them. I found out today that (for a price...) you can buy a rollerball cane online, but it is pink, blue, black or yellow so not so obviously a blind cane. The blue one looks more like a hiking cane than a roller ball so I don't think anyone would notice it. I'm still debating whether to get it, although these have been my longest running and most severe tics and I doubt they are planning on leaving any time soon.

I will be seeing my new manager next week to explain all of this because I am going slowly insane with the tics. I am STILL reluctant to take medication purely because I don't like the side-effects but I am becoming disabled by the tics now so it is beyond a joke.

In the meantime I am just going to have to cope with living with Britain's most hilarious disorder (yes referring to both Cameron and an article in a newspaper).

[catherinem]

Eye tics combined with my dog poo thing, being easily distracted and various worm-like finger tics (whilst watching it) arm twists and bad bra tics can make walking about a bit of a pain.

So imagine this, this is me walking to the village shop-

Look for dog poo, look for dog poo, bad bra tic, squint, check to see that I haven't stepped in dop poo whilst squinting, ok, finger-worm tic, bad bra, look for dog poo, look for dog poo, check out community centre, check to see if I stepped in dog poo whilst looking over a community centre car park. You get the pictu, along side this is the usual cop and whistling, I get a tap on the shoulder, I literally jump out of my skin and I get asked "Is that real?" me confussed thinking he's referring to my ts "er yes, it's real" .."no, I meant your coat, everybody knows you've got tourettes" DUH!!

[Bootgates]

Lol! sorry you two made me chuckle & brightened my day. Though i really do appreciate it's hard as i know only too well from my own tics & vocal tics too. I was surprised you were forced to bin your white stick. However I wasn't sure what a rollerball cane was having never seen one but i found this link which i hope you might like. whilst not white it is a light aluminium that looks quite white & it's foldable too.

dlf-data.org.uk/product.php...

Hope it helps you.x

[LittleClapham]

I found one that was designed for children (I am very small!) and it comes in blue so it is less obvious than the white ones. I will probably go for that one.

[Bootgates]

np hun. i got the impression, rightly or wrongly that you had wanted to keep the white one but made to give it up. I really hope the blue one works for you.

[LittleClapham in reply to Bootgates]

I did want to keep the white one and I was forced to give it up but I much prefer to have a blue one that isn't so obvious.