Feeling thoroughly miserable - full time musician, first time tinnitus

[Fulltimemuso]

Hi folks, hoping to get some more positive ways to deal with this.

I've built everything around playing music in my life. It's my entire income, and I feel I need all the money I can get from it. I don't really know any other way I can make the same money. I now have my teenage daughter living with me, and things are generally expensive. Mortgage, bills.

I was keeping on top of it ok, even thriving after giving up function gigs and becoming a singer for care homes. I love the job, and I'm working everyday.

I pay all the bill, put a bit away for a pension, and cover what ever I need for my daughter. I'm the only earner, and I feel everything relies on me being able to get an income.

My days are busy, and I only have one day off each week. I was already feeling a lot of stress, but just about managing to spin all the plates - even able to start to go out about once per week for a couple of hours to try and socialise. I would love to meet a partner and I'm trying really hard to get my life together, and my daughter's. And keep everything on track.

I'd noticed a little bit fear ringing over the years, but always tried to be careful with plugs etc. Last week, I had a couple of really load gigs, and since then I noticed the ringing was worse.

Now I'm focused in on it, I'm really aware of it. It's really worrying, becasue I feel like if the 'wheels fall off' this situation I have, I'm not sure what I'll do!

I know I'm looking at it in an unhealthy way, I feel stressed and depressed. I can; seem to get enthusiastic about my music now and for my gigs I need to be 'happy, chilled, and fun' I don't feel that.

Help?? Any wise words anyone please?

Thankyou and hope you guys are getting on ok.

[Happyrosie]

have a look at the post from another musician a day or two ago. Also, the website of Tinnitus UK might help? Give them a ring on their helpline

[Fulltimemuso in reply to Happyrosie]

Many thanks, I will

[TinnitusUKPat Partner]

Hi Fulltimemuso

I'm sorry to read about the difficulties that you're having at the moment with your tinnitus and balancing it with your career and family life. These are big issues to wrestle with and I think anyone in a similar situation to you is trying to juggle the challenges of health and wellbeing versus work and doing what you love as a job.

It's not unexpected for us paying punters to notice ringing after a gig, particularly if we don't use ear plugs or other forms of defence. For musicians, you have rehearsals to factor into the equation and that may expose you to an additional level of louder sound even before you get on stage.

Possibly the most practical thing that you can do is to get a hearing test and see what this tells you - is the tinnitus you're describing noise-induced or something which is being heightened by stressful thoughts and anxiety about your work? If your hearing is normal, we can maybe rule out damage to the ear and then focus instead on doing things to manage stress.

You've just missed the return of our musician's support group - the next meeting is in early October, with more details at this link: tinnitus.org.uk/event/music...

Best wishes

Pat

[Fulltimemuso in reply to TinnitusUKPat]

Really appreciate your reply. I think there is definitely a psychological aspect going on here. I feel pretty stressed and I'm really focussing on the ringing (and what it could mean).

Thankyou for the advice about a hearing test. I'm going to do this. Also, the link for the group. I did have a look at this earlier.

[bournville]

Hi sorry to hear this is happening can I ask what type of ear plugs you are using for gigs?

If you are not using custom moulded musicians ear plugs then I’d get some of those - I use two types minus 27db and a pair or solid blanks which are approx minus 30 db. ACS is tge industry standard lots of fitting centres around uk. As a pro musician yiu are entitled to the “musicians hearing scheme” funding where you only pay £40 approx

Also I echo tinnitus Pats suggestion about the musicians online support group - the October one is going to focus on gigging with tinnitus.

[Fulltimemuso in reply to bournville]

Hi, thanks for this - I actually have a set of ACS plugs, but I'd always felt it was a bit overkill for my care home gigs which are generally not very loud. However.....I realise now I need to do something different, and this is probably the route I'm going to go down. The filters I have are the 17db, but really this is too much. My plan is to try the 10db. This way I can put the plugs in before I enter the building then just leave them in until I'm back in my car.

I feel like as well as avoiding any 'obviously too loud' situations (something I was being careless about), I just need something to take the volume down 'a bit'. Hopefully this will work.

[Fender1947]

HI i have tinnitus as well some times it gets to loud when that happens i take some green tea it helps me settle down try it for yourself everyone is different it may help you give it a try

[Fulltimemuso in reply to Fender1947]

Thankyou, after living with this a couple of days I can totally understand this. Mine (which thankfully seems to be lessening), gets quieter just when I make an effort to consciously relax. It's like a volume control. Really surprised when I first noticed this.

[Chumpiechops]

Hi,

While I don’t play in a band I did think that once I received official confirmation I had T that it would be the end of my concert and sport event attendance.

Luckily, 12 months on, and with the support of the NHS and my amazing wife, I have it under control. I use Alpine ear buds when attending gigs/football matches and enjoy both as the buds don’t lose any of the sound quality (well, if supporting WBA counts as enjoyment😂)

Things will improve for you, this forum, and Tinnitus UK, have been invaluable

All the best

[Fulltimemuso in reply to Chumpiechops]

Really appreciate your reply, thankyou and I'm glad you have had some positive results.

[Fulltimemuso]

Just wanted to give a little update. Some positive progress, I think the main ringing effect is slowly lessening (which is amazing). It is still noticeable, but just the fact it didn't seem so bad, gave me a huge boost and the confidence to at least try to ignore it. Also, I'm able to reduce it by relaxing, slow breathing being like a volume control which is very strange.

I've have some hope that things will gradually get to a manageable level. I also have a good plan for new filters in my moulded earplugs, and plan to use these from now on in any gig or loud practice situation.

Thanks so much for this forum and all your replies, it really helped me when I was in a bit of a panic the last few days.

[bournville in reply to Fulltimemuso]

Hi this is great news sounds like you may have had a lucky escape but please take it as a warning from your body. As a gigging musician you are a high risk for hearing loss & Tinnitus. Please start using your ACS ear protection for noise going on for a reasonable duration over 85db - that definitely includes gigs, garden machinery, power tools etc 👍

[Fulltimemuso in reply to bournville]

Thanks, actually today I seem to have zoned in on the high pitched noise again - but I'm still hopeful. Appreciate the advice and definitely going to use some hearing protection for the gigs now.

[D-w-L2023]

As another muso with tinnitus you have my sympathy. Mine started after a particularly loud gig but I carried on with another few gigs before I saw an audiologist at the hospital who told me to start wearing earplugs. As bournville says above, it's a warning. Good to hear you're intending to wear ear plugs for gigs and loud rehearsals. Best wishes for the future.

[Fulltimemuso in reply to D-w-L2023]

Thanks a lot, yes I think I was getting those warning signs for a while (random 'pinging' of a high frequency that would quickly diminish), I always thought I was being care enough. My gigs are not particularly loud usually. But I think I was starting to push it. Probably due to some general age related hearing loss.

I'm going to improve my 'ear plug-game' significantly. How is it for you now? Do you still get it?

[D-w-L2023 in reply to Fulltimemuso]

It's easy to push it but not realise until the next day.

My tinnitus has never gone away. 30+ years now. I gave up gigging 20 years ago as my tinnitus would be bad the next day even with specialist molded ear plugs. My music is now mostly done on-line with other musicians or in a duo using backing tracks so no loud drums or guitars.

[Fulltimemuso]

Ok, another update - I thought it had gone down a bit but alas! It seems to still be there.

I'm going to start another thread because I'm getting some strange symptoms.