Well and so it goes on. T is loud, intrusive and seriously getting me down. I’ve been at this point before and I know I will not stay like this forever.
Major panic attack this morning in front of hubby and literally felt physical unable to go on. He made me a cuppa and then told me to get ready for work as laying in bed wasn’t going to help. He was right. I got up, got ready and went to work. It was very busy and I struggled through my shift just wanting to go home, even though the noises are significantly louder in my house.
When I got in, hubby said right get changed we’re going out. We went shopping, picked up our youngest and I actually felt ok for a couple of hours. Now he’s gone out and I’m home alone, searching the internet for something that’s not there.
Why can’t I start the habituation process this time? I’ve managed a few times in the past, yes it takes time, but I’m feeling different this time. But I think I might have said that last time!
After 35 years I know it does get “better” even when my noises in the past have literally been audible over my washing machine or hoover!
Got a very busy weekend, 2 parties, family meal Monday and all I can think of is this t.
Feeling sorry for myself can’t wait for bedtime to go to sleep, but last night I even dreamt about having it!
Oh well hubbys home soon, so it’s fish n chips for tea as it’s good Friday and a few vinos to take the edge of.
Silent thoughts to all of you, take care xx
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