Public “Accidents”

[torcol]

Yes, they happen with IBS. I’m not ashamed to say that over the span of approximately 25 years I have deficated in my pants, in public about 5 times and at home about 5 times. Everyone is too embarr to say “ I had an accident” that they hide at home and miss out on life.

There are a few things I know for sure:

No. 1

It happens in a seconds notice for me, it’s like out of the clear blue sky my stomach churns one time and it’s THERE. It’s like I have no anal muscle or something, it just starts coming out!

No. 2

No one ever knows it but me. I am sprint walking to the bathroom the minute my gut turns and it is flowing as fast as I am trying to get there.

No. 3

I was most generally anxious some time before it happened. Either I was nervous all the way there or thinking about it for a while and my insides must take the toll because it all of a sudden just happens.

No. 4

I couldn’t help it any more than a sick person can stop themselves from throwing up or getting cancer or the flu.

No. 5

I have a disease called IBS that is unpredictable and relentless.

No. 6

I carry depends, moist towelettes, body spray and pads in my purse at all times and a change of clothes in my car.

No. 7

5 times in public in 25 years. That’s not going to define me. I refuse to let it stop me from living my life to the fullest.

No. 8

Who cares, did it hurt anyone, embarrass anyone ( besides me), was it life altering, am I a bad person, did I do anything illegal????? Who cares???

No. 9

I’m a clean, attractive, fashionable woman with IBS! If that’s my only problem then I am grateful, it could be so, so, so much worse.

No. 10

Another day above ground is a great day😊

[adriianrb]

Keep ya head up, there are doctos that can help you with that. Maybe a natural treatment.

[phaninder in reply to adriianrb]

Me too

[Salige in reply to phaninder]

agree, this is problem with antidiarrhoeal opioid drugs and how they work. Instead there are intestinal adsorbents which work completely different by binding the harmful molecules of immune proteins, bacterial toxins and breakdown products, fat molecules and bile acids, in the gut and expelling them with the stool. Check ENTEROSGEL for this, its in boots, h&b, etc

[hairyfairy]

Have you tried something like immodium when your`e under stress? that could stop accidents like this from happening by slowing down the bowel.

[torcol in reply to hairyfairy]

Thank you for your reply.

I don’t take anti diarrhea medication because it then binds me up for days on end. It’s a no win

[janke]

With respect to the other 2 replies I strongly suspect that if you have had IBS for 25 years you have already tried "natural treatments" and "imodium"! Good on you for talking about it. It is something I haven`t experienced (yet) but dread happening and it is high time society changed it`s attitude to these accidents. As you say, it is not our fault and we should not feel ashamed

[torcol in reply to janke]

Thank you so much for your response. I have a gal friend who keeps a five gallon bucket with a roll of small trash bags in the back of her van! She pulls over more than the mailman!

[Whitesugar]

Have you tried Questran? Your problem sounds so much like my history. I have stopped it in its tracks after over 40 years of unpredictable diarrhoea and accidents. No doctor until this summer suggested it could be caused by Bile Acid Malabsorption. One sachet a day of Questran and I feel safe and normal. I'm assuming 'normal' as after suffering with something for over 40 years it's hard to remember what that is! Ask to give it a try if you haven't already.

[torcol in reply to Whitesugar]

I am so happy that you been able to manage this and feel some normalcy in your life! Refreshing to hear. I’ll speak with my doctor on my next visit👍

[sweetsusie in reply to torcol]

YES!!! Do that, torcol!!!! I'm excited for you, because I know Welchol, Colestipol and Questran are wonderful!! I don't understand why more doctors do not know about this. People are suffering needlessly.

[Whitesugar in reply to torcol]

...and if it works you will know you have a recognised medical condition and nothing to do with anxiety. I wish you the very best of health

[sweetsusie]

You sound exactly like me, torcol. I had chronic diarrhea for years and had way too many accidents to count. I researched what I could do and asked my doctor to prescribe me Welchol. It worked like a charm, but was very expensive here in the US, so I had him prescribe me Colestipol...works the same way!!! I take 6 pills a day (3 in the morning and 3 in the evening). These drugs are marvelous for this condition. Please tell your doctor to prescribe for you and try either one of them!!!!

[Eliana5]

Please, please see a Gastroenterologist..this is not normal..your body is telling you something is wrong.

[torcol]

Thank you for your concern. My gastroenterologist has been informed as has my g p. I have had the IBS blood test and was 98 percent positive. One of the most prominent symptoms is unexplained, sudden Bowel movements. I refuse medication of any sort due to medical anxiety and fear of side effects. It is one thing to deal with IBS, I don’t need to fight any side effects brought on by trying to treat the first issue, it never fails. You end up on five medications to offset the effects of the first one. I deal very well and don’t let this dictate my days.

[janke in reply to torcol]

You are very wise. I tried the medication that is used for Bile acid malabsorption and it made me feel extremely sick! I honestly believe that you are doing the right thing. Sometimes it is best to stop trying to find a cure and instead concentrate on finding ways to live with it

[torcol in reply to janke]

My “accidents” are far and few between, after the first couple times of being in shock, humiliated, crying, getting depressed, not wanting to leave, missing out on family events and so forth I did some soul searching. I realized that I have ALWAYS had anxiety. I was a terribly anxious child, teen and adult. It took a toll on my physical well being and I get that. It has to manifest itself in some way and this is mine. It’s life, our body’s all work in different ways depending on what we put in it, how we push it, how we maintain it, genes, environmental factors, etc.... no two are the same. So those that judge are usually those fighting their own demons and believe me no one is perfect. We could eat only healthy foods, keep our houses hygenically clean, have a perfect sleep schedule, avoid going anyplace that might carry germs, sanitize constantly but is that a happy life? What are you doing it all for? Just to “be”? I could care less what some stranger that most likely has bigger issues than my trivial IBS thinks. I’m going for quality of life and I have IBS but I’m smilin, I’m happy, Im living!!!!

[Choleoout]

Well done, you!!! Are you without a gall bladder - if so do ask for a SehCAT scan, as your diarrhoea could be caused by bowel acid malabsorption? In which case colestyramine does help enormously. Not many doctors know about it, so do ask.

[torcol in reply to Choleoout]

Had my gallbladder removed last June but have had the problem since childhood, I know mine is self inflicted, I was born an anxious, nervous child. Always the pleaser, the caretaker, the jokester, attention seeker. We usually have inner turmoil trying to be everything and please everyone while trying not to draw attention to ourselves. Holding in all of the emotions and feelings we don’t want others to know we have is exhausting and obviously unhealthy. After years and years I said “no more”! I no longer care if my husband, friend, family want me to go or do something I’m uncomfortable with, it ain’t happening any more. I refuse to make others happy at my expense, that’s what took a toll on me in the first place. It’s my life not theirs, I am not them I am me and now I am at a place in my life that I enjoy and by gosh that’s just what I’m foing👍😊

[Marygulliford]

I've had accidents in shops, car, walking to work, at work, on carpet at work, put the loo out of action (spent half hour cleaning up floor). It cured any anxiety I may have in life, as nothing is more visual and horrid. But I'm alive and caring.

[torcol in reply to Marygulliford]

You go girl!!! I know many with this problem it just isn’t talked about like other physical/mental diseases. You can’t see anxiety or IBS so if you have an accident it just looks like you had an accident in your pants!

[Angie51B]

Wow this is an amazing thread, thank you torcol. You are inspirational, I have had so many accidents and feel really down about them. I’ve often said that being sick in public is acceptable and people are sympathetic, but our problem is just socially unacceptable. You have described what happens to me perfectly. That gurgle and then whoosh..... I carry a kit with me everywhere like a comforter! I am going to try so hard to think like you and not let it rule me. Thank you so much.

[torcol in reply to Angie51B]

It took me probably a year to wake up and retrain my brain. After years and years of thinking the worst it is a process to retrain your brain. Really.

The part of the brain that breeds negativity is stronger than the side that is positive so it’s an actual training of the brain. I wake up and the first thing I do is smile! It works! Then I make myself breakfast and eat every bite. I tell myself “ oh well, if I have to make a race to the bathroom so be it, I’m not going to deprive myself of any food what so ever, so there ya go”! I say “ it’s another day and I’m going to go out and do something, anything, because I can and no one else matters. Then I remind myself all day to smile. It instantly changes the mood. Remember, you are the only obstacle in your way. No one can can make you feel insecure unless you let them.

You’ve got this, you too can do this! I just got home from the casino, ate the buffet and came home ahead! Another great day

[Angie51B in reply to torcol]

I woke up this morning and thought of your messages and smiled....... it is a very relaxing thing to do -I don’t know whether it is the muscles not being able smile and look grumpy at the same time, but it certainly felt good!! Thank you torcol 😀

[torcol in reply to Angie51B]

So so glad, little things do make a difference in how we feel! I truly know that a great deal of IBS is self inflicted. If I can hurt myself I can sure reverse it and make myself feel better!😊

[Rosiepie123]

Well done for saying all this.

My partner suffers the same, this is why I'm on here, to try and find things for him that may help.

We just celebrate the good days. Immodium instants are a saviour especially on special outings. You can't take all time, but definitely for hols and weekend breaks.

Good luck and best wishes.