Christmas starts earlier every year, and I’m never one to complain these days. There’s that unwritten rule that once you’ve seen the coke advert, you can officially start to think it’s actually Christmas.
Then come all of the other eagerly awaited Christmas adverts – Snowball fights, presents, amazing Christmas party clothes, and lots of food! Can you relate to any of these overly happy advert characters when you suffer with an eating disorder? I’d say you can’t because we all also know that Christmas, a general time of excess and food, is not a happy or eagerly awaited time when you’re ill.
Perhaps this year you can relate more to the John Lewis snowman advert?
Aptly named ‘The Journey’, because that’s what recovery is. That snowman makes a hard journey, overcomes obstacles, and takes on dangerous routes for a man made of snow! Remember, this snowman has no legs, or even a car. It’s a journey that you and I could easily achieve, but for him it’s a massive feat. He does it because he knows the end result will be worth it.
With an eating disorder at Christmas, you will have to tackle obstacles, and come face to face with challenges. I’ll be honest, you might not achieve them all, but the fact you give them a go is enough. The Christmas activities that you struggle with this year will come easily and be second nature to everyone else, but for you they may be the hardest thing you’ve ever done. The Christmas lunch, lots of people around, meals out, drinks, these are the things that you will usually avoid at all costs. At Christmas it’s very hard to escape them, and it can make an eating disorder even more isolating and upsetting.
But… That snowman made his journey, there and back! He was a bit battered, and tired looking, but the other snowman (woman) was waiting.
As usual, remember that Christmas is just a day, like any other day
If you find meal plans easy, make a plan of what you must eat. That way you will know that you have eaten the correct amount, and won’t overcompensate or panic
Talk to someone about how you are feeling, or what you are feeling anxious about
If you slip up at one meal, put it right at the next. It’s not a failure, accept it, and move on.
Perhaps ask your parents to ‘brief’ friends and family first if you are self conscious, or worried about any comments that may be made.
Do congratulate yourself on any achievements you make and barriers you overcome. It’s something to feel proud of.
Don’t isolate yourself. The people around you at this time of year care about you.
Stay healthy. At this time of year there are a lot of illnesses going around, and these can be more serious if your body is in starvation mode.
When I was thinking of this piece I attended the ABC Thanksgiving and remembrance event. It was a time to remember those who have not been so lucky in their recovery, and for others to offer hope that recovery is possible, even when you cannot see a way out. That’s all anyone ever needs isn’t it? The hope and support to make that journey of recovery and treatment. I think we all left that day feeling incredibly lucky for the people we have in our lives.
I tried to find an inspirational quote here, but eating disorders are never going to have rigid borders or text book cases. Everyone’s experience is individual to them. So I couldn’t find the ‘one quote fits all’ line. Look for your own, and stick it up somewhere for Christmas to remind you of where you have been, and how tough you are!
Everyone needs hope and reassurance. I chose this one…
"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be" - Douglas Adams
Happy Christmas!!!
