I can't stop

[missaw]

I can't stop the binge / purge cycle. It is constant, every day, around 9 times a day. I'm not sleeping, I have no quality of life, and trying to get any help in the UK is proving extremely difficult. I am at my wits end. I would probably be better off ending it all. I need help. What do I do?

[Ginster72]

It is a good start that you realise you need help. May I ask how old you are and have you told anybody about your illness? Try and be around people when you eat and have activities planned afterwards for up to an hour to help stop you purging. Have you been to your gp and explained what you are going through?

[missaw in reply to Ginster72]

Thank you for your reply. I'm in my 30's and I've suffered for all of my adult life. I've been completely honest with doctors and I am constantly going back to express how I am struggling, but the problem seems to be that they don't take me seriously because I am not classed as severely underweight. I've contacted charities, they just ask me for donations, I've contacted the NHS, they referred me back to the surgery. After 18 years of crying for help I really don't think I am ever going to get any.

[Ginster72 in reply to missaw]

I'm sorry to hear this, it must be so hard when you can't get the help you so desperately need. It is good to hear that you aren't underweight, however the binge/purge cycle isn't good for you. I've heard people mention ABC, have you tried them for help/support? You need to focus on the positives and that it is possible to get better. You need to be very strong willed and really want to stop. Unfortunately, only you can make yourself better. Others can help and support you but the hard work has to come from you. Have you got family/friends who can support you? I said before, why don't you try and plan activities after meal times and have people around to distract you.

Wishing you well and hoping you beat this. X

[missaw in reply to Ginster72]

Thank you Ginster72. I am willing to try anything at this point. I really want to recover and reclaim my life back. I will definitely look into ABC. My family are well aware but they get angry a lot and tell me to 'just stop'. It's hard confiding in friends because of the shame that comes with the disorder. This site is very supportive I find, it's great to talk about things here. Thank you for the replies, I really appreciate it. x

[Ginster72 in reply to missaw]

I can imagine it is really hard for you but also for your family. My daughter suffers with anorexia and won't let me help, so I can understand what it is like for family. Maybe after meals try going for a walk, or read a book maybe even come on here and write something anything to try and distract you from purging. My daughter went through a stage of purging aswell - she picked this up when she was an inpatient. It seems to have stopped since being an inpatient in a different hospital where she was watched 24/7 for a few months.

I know this is easy to say but you have nothing to be ashamed of. It is a nasty illness that takes hold of people and the way they think ruining their lives. It is good that you want your life back and you WILL get it back but you need to persevere, stay strong and fight it.

You can do it x