Oldest Anorexic?

[Kloggy]

Hi, I am new to this site and thought I had put this behind me.

I suffered from anorexia as a teenager but recovered and went on to have three children and lead a fairly normal life. I have also suffered from IBS and more recently diverticulitis. This seems to have taken me back to a cycle of not eating and now counting calories and checking my weight daily.

I am 5ft 6 and under 7 stone so I know I have a problem and if I was talking to someone else I would be telling them to get help and offering my support. For myself though I feel that all the time I can function I am in control.

As my husband is worried I have booked a GP appointment for the week after next but am not sure that I will go and can't imagine saying out loud that I have an ED. I don't know what to do, can anyone advise?

[Agora1]

Kloggy, I doubt that you are the oldest Anorexic but that's not the problem your age. The problem is your sliding back to your old ways of not eating and counting calories and checking your weight daily. You are so blessed to have a husband who loves and cares about you enough to support you in getting help. You do not have this under control. How long will you be able to function w/o eating and counting calories? Saying out loud that you have an ED is the first step to wellness for you and your family. Please rethink your keeping that appointment with your GP. Please.

Everyday I watch my daughter slide further and further down this deep dark hole of helplessness and yet she thinks she is in control. Yes, in control of destroying her life, health issue by health issue. My thoughts are with you. x

[Kloggy in reply to Agora1]

Thank you for your reply. I know what you say is true and I am indeed lucky to have a husband who supports me. It is difficult for him and he is the only person who knows about this. I have asked him to come to the Docs appt with me, that way I can't really chicken out at the last minute.

I hope your daughter finds a way to recovery soon, it's so hard when your child has a problem that you cannot fix for them. The best hope I can offer you is to say that I may have been similar to her, I was told I would never have children and I even lost all my teeth by the age of 18 but I did recover and went on to have a career and a family.

For myself I have to believe that I have beaten this before and can do it again.

Love to you both.

[Agora1 in reply to Kloggy]

Thank you Kloggy for that encouraging response. It's nice to hear that you beat this once before and have the belief and determination that you can do it again.

I'm glad that you asked your husband to go with you to the appointment. His support will give you the courage not to cancel out. My best to you. Keep us updated please. Hugs, Agora1 x

[crazycrossstitcher]

I am 57 and have suffered on an off with anorexia for most of that time - you are far from alone. You acknowledge you have an ED - so don't leave to your GP to spot - tell him what's going on and ask for some help before the cycle develops further - it is so good your husband has recognise a problem too and is supporting you in getting help. You could also try ABC - they have telephone support, website and befrienders. Hope the GP refers you to a good ED specialist.

[Kloggy in reply to crazycrossstitcher]

Thank you for taking the time to reply. Unfortunately I don't have a lot of faith in GPs and the one I have an appointment with is one I have never seen before. However, I have asked my husband to come with me to the appointment (something I would never normally do!) so that as we will both have taken time off work I won't be able to chicken out.

We have an ED clinic in our area which takes people via self-referral but they are always engaged when you call and leaving a message for them to call back is not an option as I can't have my phone with me at work. Hopefully the GP will be the best place to start for me.

I hope that you are ok and receiving the help you deserve, this thing is so tiring and takes over your life it you let it. Guess we have to keep fighting it, if we've done it before we can do it again.

Best wishes to you.

[TPepper]

Oh no. Well, I guess you know that it is a problem. Maybe saying that your eating is problematic instead of saying you think you have an ED may help reduce the pressure? When I had to go to the GP, I wrote what I wanted to say down. It made me feel a lot less anxious. That may help? Maybe talking to a supportive friend or family member may help? I was scared about admitting I had an ED but the day before my GP appointment, I talked to my personal tutor at uni. She was incredibly supportive and she gave me a hug and told me that perhaps getting a label to the voice may help me compartmentalise it. Because she believed in me so much and she just said the right thing, I was able to draw strength from her to talk to my GP. So perhaps talking to someone may help you?

I know exactly the feeling. It is funny because my friend was experiencing mental health problems and I was like dude, you need help. I told him he couldn't go on pretending that he did not have a problem. Yet I have had eating problems for ages (bingeing for like 9 ish years) and starting to restrict since January and I kept telling myself that I was in control and that I would be fine until this year when I finally sought out help.

Oh, also something that someone told me which I found quite helpful. You are obviously a strong person. To listen to voices telling you not to eat enough, that requires a lot of strength. Fighting against hunger. If you are strong enough to listen to the voices, you are strong enough to seek help even if it feels like you're not.

Good luck! I hope that it all goes well! x

[Kloggy]

Hi TPepper. Thank you for taking the time to reply. The GP I will be seeing is someone I haven't seen before so I have no idea what he will be like but your advice to write down what I want to ask is helpful. I would never normally take anyone with me to a GP appt but have asked my husband to come with me to this one because otherwise I will probably not go. My husband is the only person ( as far as I know) who knows what my problem is and it is very hard for him to deal with. There are many reasons why I am back where I am but it's like there are two of me, the anorexic person and the person who looks in from outside and says what are you doing? I wish I wasn't like this and I know I am old enough to know better and it makes me feel ashamed.

I am glad that you have sought help for your ED and that your tutor is supportive, I hope that you are now getting the help that you deserve so that you can move on. You have your whole life ahead of you and you will beat this and move on.

Thank you for your support and good luck to you. X

[missaw]

It's so great that you are initiating help now before it gets too late. Tell your doctor of your previous history of anorexia and tell him you are showing some characteristics lately. They may be able to assign some CBT to help you and relieve some anxiety.

Good luck xx

[Kloggy in reply to missaw]

Thank you. I feel really stupid as I am old enough to know better and am struggling to admit to this even though I know it's happening. I don't want to go to my appointment so have asked my husband to come with me so that I can't back out at the last minute. He is the only person who really knows what is happening although I know he struggles to understand. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't be seeking help now and don't know that I can change that easily.The only thing that encourages me is that I have beaten this before so can do it again.I think you may also have been struggling with this horrible illness for some time and I hope you have found the help you deserve.Best wishes to you too. X

[missaw in reply to Kloggy]

Thank you lovely, I'm old enough to know better too, but I find it really reassuring that you beat this already before. Hopefully soon I'll be telling you I've done the same xx