I need advice, please.

[Lonely-girl]

Hey! I'm new here, just starting off with that.

So I've always had issues surrounding eating for a long time. I used to not eat for long periods of time and diet a lot (I was about 6st at 16). But that went away for about a year and I've found myself putting weight back on.

I'm now 5ft3 and I weigh around 9st (I don't know exactly because I'm not allowed near weighing scales because I become weight obsessed very quickly) and I've noticed the more weight I put on the more obsessed I'm getting over food again. I was never diagnosed with an eating disorder because I refused to go to the doctors about it but I figured it was nothing the last time - just stress. I'm finding myself struggling to eat full meals because I weigh so much, I don't actually want to eat anything anymore, and when I do I'm just feeling and wanting to be sick.

I know I need to diet but I don't have the motivation too. Today I got a new job and had to measure myself for the new uniform and I am 36 bust, 25 waist and 36 hips and it's making me feel awful about the numbers being so large, despite the fact people tell me I'm slim.

I've noticed as I've got older I'm seeing myself as more over weight and I'm so unhappy that I have restricted certain things out of my diet. But it's not like I hate food, I don't I actually really like food - just not eating it. But that's normal right?

Is this an issue? Should I go and see my doctor about it? I don't feel like I should but I need outsiders opinions on it.

Thanks a bunch

[gymmonster]

I think you should definitely see someone about it. Seeing yourself as overweight where in actual fact if your weight is what you think it is, your bmi is healthy. Body Dysmorphia is a problem on its own and is a major part of most eating disorders. Whether you have an eating disorder or disordered eating it is making you unhappy and you deserve help xx

[Lonely-girl in reply to gymmonster]

Thank you, I will be making an appointment to see a doctor about it in the next week hopefully xx

[crazycrossstitcher]

Suggest you do need to seek help - your view of your body and relationship with food is clearly an issue for you - and EDs are very good at taking over your life and persuading you that everything is OK - your bmi is healthy at your current weight - but clearly the image you have of your body distorts things - go to your GP and seek professional help asap - you've taken the first step of acknowledging how you feel - now you need guidance and support to sort out your feelings and really understand yourself better. Good luck.

[Lonely-girl in reply to crazycrossstitcher]

Thank you so much, I've decided to book myself a doctors appointment for it asap and I'll hopefully be getting help soon

[crazycrossstitcher]

Great - suggest you also look at ABC/BEAT websites - and possibly make contact - from experience initial GP visits sometimes mean a bit of a wait to get professional ED help - and you may need to push to get what you need - good luck.