Really struggling

[Pipley]

I have suffered with anorexia/bulimia for about 20 years. It's pretty miserable but the last 6 months have been awful. I feel suicidal nearly all the time. I am hoping to get a placement in The Aspen Centre, Warwickshire for real, full on help to beat this. But I could be waiting at least 2 months and I just don't know how I can keep going until then. My life feels like it's just totally falling apart.

My children are with their dads as I have been too ill to look after myself, let alone them. They are my reason for living and now I feel I have nothing to live for.

I am finding it almost impossible to bring myself to eat and when I do I just can't keep it down.

Has anyone got any advice on how I can pick myself up out of this dark place?

[crazycrossstitcher]

Have you told your medical team how you feel at present - would suggest you should do this asap as you clearly need some help now.

The Aspen Centre are really good - from my personal experience - and I know 2 months can seem a long time - but it will pass so quickly - keep focussing on your children - how much you mean them - and if you have any friends you can talk to I suggest you talk them - or at least try to make sure you meet up regularly outside the house - I found I needed this "distraction" - and sometimes just being with people away from my issues really helped.

[bumblebee20]

You sweetheart. I feel your pain so much and have been at rock bottom too where life doesn't feel like living anymore... Believe me, life is beautiful when we come out on the other side.

Are you taking medication? Some meds can make u feel suicidal if not taken correctly? However I've found sertraline has saved me from my depression!

Is there things you can change in terms of how u spend ur time? Such as taking up a hobbie, doing things u like, reading, watching a movie, walking..? It's the little things we do that give u a lift. And take each day at a time.

Please consider how much it would hurt your children of you didn't fight this. I'm sure u feel horrid already that ur children aren't with u, they no doubt need and want u in their lives.

Recovery is possible. 

Believe in yourself and talk to people who understand u. Seek some professional help too.

Sending love and strength xxx