Purging and binging

[sandy11]

I am 15 years old and i weigh 6 to 7 stone. i sometimes binge then purge as i feel guilty of what i have eaten. i also look at my self constantly every day at the mirror. to me 6 to 7 stone is alot and i starve myself at school. at home i have no control and i start to eat alot. i currently undergo councelling but i dont know if i will ever get better. im never satisfied with my body and i feel so low at school. one nasty or unpleasent look i immediatly go back to negative thoughts. the only time i have felt pleased with myself is when im looking in the mirror and i see ribs and neck bones. this tells me that at least there is some improvement to what i am doing. my friends tell me that i am "skinny" but i dont compare my self to people who have a higher weight than me, its those who are skinner. and i guess i feel jelous in a way. i got sent home from school on tuesday as i felt so ugly and broke down in tears. i come to school and i get comments that i look tired. but ive had tons of sleep. i wake up in the morning and i feel physically like i am going to collaspe.

any help or advice?

[newn]

bless you....

had i known at 15 what i do now i would have committed myself to recovery then at full pelt and that i what i suggest you do. don't wait as long as i did...over 30 yrs...

[crazycrossstitcher]

I feel you need to speak to someone about this - whether that be a school counsellor, your family or a GP - you sound to be in a really bad place and in need of help - so please do seek professional help - and be as open as possible about how you currently feel. Don't leave things hoping you'll feel differently tomorrow - I've been there and know that his doesn't work. I do hope someone will come alongside you and help you find a path to recovery.

[Agora1 in reply to crazycrossstitcher]

I've talked to you before regarding my 26 y.o. daughter. I figured out today that she is 5'3'' and weighs 5 stones. Her health is critical but so far no one has come along to convince her she desperately needs help.

I think you are right, she hopes that tomorrow will be different. It's been 6 years now. It's near impossible to help someone who refuses all help.

[crazycrossstitcher in reply to Agora1]

I'm so sorry- I can see how my illness left my parents feeling helpless and lost as to how their beloved daughter was fading away in front of them and they could do little to help - have you thought of contacting ABC to get support for your self - or perhaps you daughter might speak to ABC or BEAT - they have anonymous phone lines.

[Agora1 in reply to crazycrossstitcher]

Thank you for your reply. Most of all thank you for caring.

Take care of yourself..x

[Hidden]

Hi sandy11 ~ that's so mean, you are sooo young. Good on you for getting counselling. Have you told your counsellor you are only happy when you see bones stick out??? That's ugly ok. Possibly, get a pet or volunteer at whatever volunteer welfare for animals is over there. You have to get self worth going on for you. Maybe what you think is "bad looks" is not about you, maybe they have a terrible life. Don't do this to yourself, it is in your control, you can win this battle if you want to.

[sandy11 in reply to Hidden]

got 2 cats already :/ i know it might seem ugly about my ribs but it shows that at least there is some improvement. im worried i might eat alot and gain weight :/

[sandy11]

i feel really low and there isnt a school counceller atm. thanks for your advice. i hope i get over this

[Hidden]

Hun, you wouldn't let your cats ribs show, put some of that love and respect you have for your furry friends, into you. Treat yourself like you treat them ♥ No school counsellor, thats the schools problem, not yours, what about church?? Try telling your mum how you feel, she might be able to help, even by just lending "an ear". Absolutely everything feels "not quite right" at 15, blame youth and hormones, please stop taking it out on your body. I'm just wondering, have you been in counselling long???

[sandy11 in reply to Hidden]

few months in councilling

[Hidden]

Ok, give it time. Tell the counsellor, everything. They can't help you if you don't tell them the truth.