At a loss..

[Electropterodactyl]

Im just so at a loss as to whats going on with me. Im so tired of thinking about food ALL THE TIME. My poor family are so worried over me as ive lost weight and obsess over dieting, but i feel like a phony as i dont have the willpower of anorexics, i havent the strength to not eat anything, i feel like a greedy pig because of the fact that i enjoy food so much, so im stuck because i cant even say i have an eating disorder because i eat 3 meals a day, dinners normally a big meal and usually have 1,100 calories

So i eat too much to have an eating disorder but the guilt i get from food i just at a loss of whats even wrong with me and how to deal with it?

If i had a serious problem at least i know i need professional help, but in this position im stuck as to how to react

[Hidden]

Helloo Electropterodactyl Loss of weight while consuming food really needs to be investigated. Start with your normal Dr/GP, please take a family member with you to the appointment. Obsessing over Anything is absolutely not healthy - you do need to speak with someone about your obsession with food/dieting/calorie counting. Just because you are not as "bad off" as some doesn't mean that your current behaviour is excusable, you sound like you are in the grip of some type of eating disorder but won't really admit it. Please "humor" me and let people who want to help in -what can it hurt???

[Electropterodactyl in reply to Hidden]

thank you for your reply, its been hard to u8nderstand whether i have a problem or not, i feel like a phony because im still eating food and i know some people have the willpower to not eat. but i am getting help now, my mum came with me to an appointment. God bless nd hope all wells for you too

[crazycrossstitcher]

You indicate you are losing weight - that others are concerned about this - and that you are completely obsessed with diet, calories and food - having an ED is not only about restricting diet - but also about your view of your body and your relationship with food - and you recognise yourself that your thoughts etc around food are not healthy or helpful to you - so go to your GP/counesllor and talk to them openly about your difficulties - and get your weight checked - you need help and need it now before things spiral out of control - good luck

[Electropterodactyl in reply to crazycrossstitcher]

thank you for replying, this made me see that it is indeed the mindset i have around food that is bad. i feel guilty for eating, and i feel i am a weakling for giving into my stomach. my church is helping me with prayer support and i have also been referred to ED team so should be getting normal soon

[la-la-la]

Please understand it is not really about food weight and eating etc an eating disorder is a scapegoat a way of distracting you from very real and painful truths and situations. On my journey I have discovered that facing, changing and coping with the underlying stuff is beyond hard...virtually impossible it kind of makes me wonder if at some point in the past I grasped that and thought I can't do anything about that but I could get thin. I could lose weight and try to disappear.

Seek help see where it leads...freedom hopefully

)

Lala

[Electropterodactyl in reply to la-la-la]

thank you for replying, your right i need to get dwn to the core issue of why i am doing this. i think its the fact that i feel like im achieving something when ilose weight, and because of how people have commented in the past on how much of a 'pig' i am i have made myself feel that eating is wrong. i know this isnt what God wants us to feel and i have been referred to an ED team who will hopefully helps soon. i will be free and i hope you too are on that road. your an inspiration so keep going, and dont give up, God bless

[la-la-la in reply to Electropterodactyl]

Me. .am inspiration? well thank you. I try to be...

I was up against it recovery wise but my faith keeps me going. We are spirit and journey our path to learn and grow and help others in some capacity. I have toyed with training to be a psychologist or counsellor but I want to help and help now. Voluntarily if need be... money isn't a drive for me...i just people to know it is never too late to grow and give life a chance.

Thank you

Lala