What can you do when AN gets you back in her grip again?

[Citylife]

I've been fighting AN for over 3 years and was making progress. But AN has been getting stronger again for over a month and no matter how much I've tried to block her out she's got louder and louder. Now she's back in control again, she controls what eat, how much exercise and how I feel about my body. I'm losing weight again+ feel so scared as don't know what to do to stop her. I've tried all my old coping mechanisms and they're not working. My eating disorder counsellor is worried and says she might have to intervene if things get worse. Can anyone relate and offer any advice as I feel so alone and a failure as was beating this horrible illness but it's consuming me again.

[Hidden]

Just a thought. Have you tried mindfulness meditation? I have found it, with CBT, to be a great help in dealing with the "anorexia voice". The AN voice just becomes a mental event which we are then free to choose what the action is. I'm not saying it is easy because I know it isn't from my experience. I struggle with AN every day.

The other thing I have found is that the AN has caused me real physical issues and pain. Please try to work with your counsellor and others. You are worth more than being a victim of ED. It is an illness and sometimes we get relapses or times when the illness overwhelms us. That is not being a failure, you may just be extra vulnerable at this time. Tr