Pushed Out

[Paulf]

Any help welcome!

my daughter is 25 and has Bulimia, we (mum & dad) have only just realized as she has started coming home from work every day eating lots of fatty foods drinking loads of fluids, and then within minutes purging it back. she is good at trying to hide this and has lost a lot of weight suddenly. if she spends a day in our company she will not eat at all. she says all is well and will not talk to me. I have reverted to emailing her asking her to speak with me online when she feels ready and that I love and will support her. but she has not replied and is now avoiding me as much as possible.

She practically lives in her room, her boy friend has recently split, am at a loss as to what else I can do or speak to ???

[PoppyRose]

Hello Paulf,

We are in the same boat. My daughter is 18 and and has cancelled going to uni to 'get better'. Unfortunately I can't see what she is doing to make things better for herself. She started sever starving, binging and purging after a boyfriend brake up (although she insists it was going on mildly for some time (years), she is adamant this is NOT the reason why it started and is all about weight control - well it IS now).

Feel free to read my postings and responses, or private message. You must get in touch with your local Eating Disorder Clinic and ask for their advice. (just google it for your area). We had to travel to another town in Lancashire but it was worth it for 'inside knowledge.' They held weekly parent support sessions for 2 hours a time with 2 Dietician/Counselors. We managed to get my daughter 1:1 appointments once she agreed she needed help. She's not in a good way at the moment. Unfortunately she doesn't always keep them. My daughter doesn't talk about it, is embarrassed about it, cried about the frustration, disgusted with herself too - but says she just can't stop now.

Also they recommended a book "skill-based learning for caring for a love one with an eating disorder" by Janet Treasure, Grainne Smith and Anna Crane. Since the sessions I find myself picking it up to remind me or confirm something for me. You know - when you just have a thought or question and need an instant answer.

Contact ABC Anorexia and Bulimia Care.

Don't struggle alone. I feel so desperate at times, it's caused my health to worsen. My daughter is oblivious - or chooses to be. Her behaviour has changed so much from our relationship and OCD cleaning to quite the opposite etc...

God bless. Keep in touch let me know how you get on.

[Paulf in reply to PoppyRose]

Hi PoppyRose

It was nice to have a reply to my first post, I and my wife do not have anyone to share our problems with as we have no close friends and no family near by, I had a quick look at some of your posts and feel for you very much, this is the first contact I have had with anyone about this subject and I see a lot of useful information I plan to look at, I am in Lancashire and will check for local help centers etc. again thank you for your input and I wish I could offer some help back to you! keep smiling

Paul.

[PoppyRose in reply to Paulf]

Oh fantastic!! So glad I could help. It's difficult when you don't have answers for the questions posted but STILL want to help.

Eating Disorder Service lancashirecare.nhs.uk/Servi... We are so lucky to have this service. Not the same is provided elsewhere in the country, and they picked up the referral from the GP very quickly!

Please don't struggle alone, both feel free to p.message even. Never feel you can't offer anything back (yet we do lol). Every situation is different as is our child but there is a lot to share amongst parents and carers that will keep you going.